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    My boyfriend often comes very quickly the first time (in one session) that we have sex. Sometimes the second time too.

    This is quite frustrating for me. I can't orgasm but do enjoy sex. If I get all excited by foreplay & then the sex only lasts a couple of minutes, that's quite disappointing, as I'm not getting much out of it.

    The thing is, I don't know whether mentioning it to him would help things or make things worse? He may not be able to control it, in which case me saying something might just make him really self-conscious. I know he is already self-conscious about it, cause we once briefly discussed it, but that was months ago when we first began having sex.
    On the other hand, he may be able to control it better if he's more conscious of it.

    What should I do? Speak to him or not? I don't know how to broach the subject without making him feel inadequate & I don't want to make it worse. Has anyone experienced this problem, boys or girls?
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    YES!! mee!
    My boyfriend is the same, we've got to do itquite a few times over a few days to get a decent session, which of course lessens the fun.
    he is aware of it though so i didnt really have to bring it up with him, and used to be quite self conscious about it but i assured him practice makes perfect blah blah.
    We use delay condoms, and sometimes we stop, so he can cool off, it helps to talk about mundane things, it is annoying though cos it ruins the mood.
    basically, when your guy looks worried about it, take the opportunity, say something like 'i dont mind as its something we can work on together, we just need to try'.

    he can try stuff like counting 10 thrusts, stopping, counting 11, stopping etc, or pull out when he gets close, change position when he gets close...although sometimes i understand it just arrives and its like 'woh that was sudden'.
    good luck, sorry for the ramble but i hope it helps.
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    Of course you speak to him, then you can do something about it.

    Have you tried condoms?

    I suppose, in theory, telling him about it could cause minor confidence issues, which would make him less likely to *** so quickly...
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    Trying not to give tips but: Keep swapping position, use positions that arent as deep, stop->dont pull out but stop and kiss really passionately or get him to pull out and finger you really hard etc etc. All things that should delay him a bit.
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    Thanks for all the advice We do swap positions quite a lot but it doesn't help much with him I think I'd like to try the delaying condoms. It'll be hard to bring that up though, cause it seems quite accusatory. Plus we don't even use condoms atm.
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    If your not trying for a baby then wear condoms, say that the pill is making you depressed and you'd like to come off for a while. Make sure that you buy the condoms and there conveniently there for him.

    Simple
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    (Original post by Thomasmc135)
    If your not trying for a baby then wear condoms, say that the pill is making you depressed and you'd like to come off for a while. Make sure that you buy the condoms and there conveniently there for him.

    Simple
    We used to use condoms and I don't think with or without really makes much of a difference. I want to try to use the delay ones, maybe, as they're intended to slow it all down. Besides, I don't want to come off the pill (as it's worked wonders for regulating, reducing pain & lightening my periods) but I wouldn't mind using both.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We used to use condoms and I don't think with or without really makes much of a difference. I want to try to use the delay ones, maybe, as they're intended to slow it all down. Besides, I don't want to come off the pill (as it's worked wonders for regulating, reducing pain & lightening my periods) but I wouldn't mind using both.
    No don't actually come off the pill but say that you have so that he knows he will have to use protection. When I said buy condoms that's what I meant that delaying ones. I have never had to use a delaying one, does it have on the packet 'delaying condom'? If it does then that's stupid on the developers part, if not then just have them there and he'll pick one up without realising and you're both happy.

    Unless of course it doesn't work like that

    Edit: WTF, why would they put on the condom 'delay'. That's so dumb.

    Sorry but my advice above is useless you will have to talk to him.
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    I'd say just tell him in a casual way that girls take longer than guys do, and just see if you can get him to keep touching you afterwards. It's a subtle way of telling him that you'd like to keep going for longer having sex, and even if he can't manage that you're more likely to be able to do other stuff. Of course, there's always the risk that he won't be able to take any longer, and will fall asleep straight after, but it's worth a try surely!
 
 
 
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