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fear of gossip dilemma

15

Now, dilemma is this: I've invited a guy-friend to my b'day thing, my 18th, but basically there're two girls within the invite list who are massive gossipers and they'll grin and make something out of it all and say he's my boyfriend or do I fancy him or whatever. I don't wanna embarrass him or myself and frankly don't want the gossip. If I had to choose I'd frankly rather the guy came and the two gossipers didn't. But they're within my close circle of friends and they've invited me to their bday things too and I think they might be hurt if I don't invite them and I don't wanna hurt them. None of my other friends are like that - of the 10-13 people I'm inviting it's only them two that's the problem! And a note I don't fancy the guy (anymore :rolleyes:

) and he has a girlfriend anyway - but we're good friends :smile:

and none of my friends know this guy cus he's from TSR. Lol now I'm wondering if he's reading this!

So now, should I - not invite the gossipers, or simply have a word with them and tell them not to be stupid? I'm not entirely sure I trust them two.

Reply 1

HereFishyFishy

13

irisng

Now, dilemma is this: I've invited a guy-friend to my b'day thing, my 18th, but basically there're two girls within the invite list who are massive gossipers and they'll grin and make something out of it all and say he's my boyfriend or do I fancy him or whatever. I don't wanna embarrass him or myself and frankly don't want the gossip. If I had to choose I'd frankly rather the guy came and the two gossipers didn't. But they're within my close circle of friends and they've invited me to their bday things too and I think they might be hurt if I don't invite them and I don't wanna hurt them. None of my other friends are like that - of the 10-13 people I'm inviting it's only them two that's the problem! And a note I don't fancy the guy (anymore :rolleyes:

) and he has a girlfriend anyway - but we're good friends :smile:

and none of my friends know this guy cus he's from TSR. Lol now I'm wondering if he's reading this!

So now, should I - not invite the gossipers, or simply have a word with them and tell them not to be stupid? I'm not entirely sure I trust them two.

I really wouldn't worry about it. If they are known as the key gossipers in the group it is unlikely that anybody will believe them anyway.
And gossip fades pretty quickly.

Reply 2

Fyska

9

If they're your friends, and you like them, and would want them there if they didn't gossip, then invite them. I agree with Laces though, gossip does fade pretty fast, they'll probably get bored of tormenting you bf wise soon enough :smile:

Reply 3

queenselphie

Its always hurtful when people gossip about us - we cant help that we find it embarassing and shameful to hear things said about us that arent true, and we just want to set the reccord straight. Unfortunately this isnt always possible and the more we protest the more we appear to have guilty consciences causing us to protest too much. If you make a big deal out of something, people assume there is some truth in it. Its possible that the fact you used to fancy this guy is making you hyper sensitive and extra defensive, because the accusation is too close to the truth even though it isnt accurate anymore.
The best thing you can do is relax, laugh this off, and act as if the gossip isnt worth your bother. If you went to a party with someone like a brother or a father and people spread rumours that you were together you'd just laugh it off and forget about it, because you knew it was 100% false, and thats the only thing you can do to convince the gossips that there is no truth in their imaginings.
People will always love to gossip, Im afraid its what most of them do. You cant stop them doing it, but you can change your reaction to it.

Reply 4

bohogirlie

3

I wouldn't worry about the gossipers, as its already been said if they do decide to gossip about it, it will fade pretty quickly. I heard a ridiculous rumour about myself on monday, from stuff that happened at the weekend, and there were a few giggles on monday, but ts all forgotten now. Don't worry about what people think anyway, i think thats an important thing to remember.

Reply 5

Jenni_Kitten

2

What, is he the only guy you're inviting or something?

If you're that worried, tell them you fancy someone else :wink:

Reply 6

TakemetoAvalon

1

Hmm well, I think you should invite the guy and the two girls anyway, and if they cause any trouble I'm sure the guy can sort out any misunderstandings :rolleyes:

Although, I might be seeing that from a biased point of view, I dunno :biggrin:

Reply 7

ChocoVet

Can you invite the guy's girlfriend as well? That way they can't really gossip about anything... Just a thought.

Reply 8

_poptart_

2

If hes the only guy you're inviting it may look a bit suspect, but to be honest he's your friend so surely any gossip that is done shouldnt affect you cos its not true!
Try not to be so paranoid about what everyone else says cos even if they did say something surely people would laugh at them?! Its quite a childish thing to do isnt it?
Just relax and dont be on guard throughout your whole 18th birthday about something so completely irelevant such as a piece of gossip that hasnt even been said yet! If you seem paranoid about something being said it may give the gossipes more of a case to actually start the piece of gossip in the first place!
dont worry about it x

Reply 9

Hana_87

16

lessthanthree

Is it that big of a deal if they say you fancy him? I mean...it's all a bit pre-school this stuff. If they say anything, can't you just say he has a girlfriend and not to be so childish?

:dito:

Reply 10

khil

OP

15

TakemetoAvalon

Hmm well, I think you should invite the guy and the two girls anyway, and if they cause any trouble I'm sure the guy can sort out any misunderstandings :rolleyes:

Although, I might be seeing that from a biased point of view, I dunno :biggrin:

So you're sure it'll be ok then? :p:

Tbh I'm hoping my parents won't say anything either :rolleyes:

I'm just gonna tell them it's a guy I met at a Cambridge interview cus I'm not sure what their reaction would be like if they knew he was from online :biggrin:

And to the rest of you who replied - yes the two girls ARE that childish! - but I think I'll talk to the guy :p:

Thanx all who replied :smile:

Reply 11

saz_1989

2

18 is too old for stupid gossip. If they gossip, just laugh and say "yeah....that's right, we're secretly getting married tomorrow"

Reply 12

khil

OP

15

Lozza

18 is too old for stupid gossip. If they gossip, just laugh and say "yeah....that's right, we're secretly getting married tomorrow"

Like I've said they're childish people - it's just I'm worried that they're gonna be like last time when I first met my ex, who's also from TSR. The thing they find so amusing is the fact that I don't have any guy-friends in person so whenever I mention one they automatically think I fancy him! - and the second thing is he's from online.

Oh and to someone who mentioned inviting his girlfriend - I don't know her, I suppose I wouldn't mind doing that, but she's in Scotland I think! And I'm on the other end of England!

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