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    I'm currently working on applying for a university bookshop (type that sells textbooks etc) and as per usual on app forms I have to write a personal statement type thing. Here's mine:

    I am interested in working for [bookshop] because I enjoy communicating and working with others and alone when I need to.
    I like being active and always having something to do and I believe [bookshop] is a shop which can offer this.

    I retur I can off good customer service, a good telephone manner and a hard-working attitude to all that I undertake within the shop.
    I have experience in using a till and chip and pin machines along with handling cash.

    I have excellent time-keeping skills and in the past 4 years I have had only 2 days out of education/work for reasons beyond my control.

    I am well-presented and willing to wear required attire.
    That's as much as I have now but that's the main stuff really.

    Does it sound decent enough?
    • CV Helper
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    Did you read it after writing it?
    • Thread Starter
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    Yeah I did but I just wanted a 2nd opinion.
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    (Original post by la fille danse)
    Did you read it after writing it?
    Yeh i personally found it hard to read as well.

    (Original post by Sir_Vile_Minds)
    Yeah I did but I just wanted a 2nd opinion.
    It doesnt flow, you shouldn't be starting every sentence with 'I'.
    It sounds very robotic and you haven't really showed them what skills you posses, you should never write about anything negative. Be sure to tell them any previous jobs you have done and what you have gained from this.
    Your cv also has absolutely no structure and it's not spelt correctly in places. Are you sure you will be able to obtain the grade you need, your taking English Literature you have to be very skilled at writing!

    CV Help: Be sure to follow it:
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki..._the_killer_CV
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    It doesn't flow, and has a fair few spelling mistakes in...
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    (Original post by Sir_Vile_Minds)
    I'm currently working on applying for a university bookshop (type that sells textbooks etc) and as per usual on app forms I have to write a personal statement type thing. Here's mine:



    That's as much as I have now but that's the main stuff really.

    Does it sound decent enough?
    There's a few words spelt wrong, and it's rather basic. It's not exactly attention grabbing.
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    I dont like the repeating "I" 's
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    you need to check your english in some places such as "I retur I can off" and maybe rephrasing some sections might help for example instead of, "I enjoy communicating and working with others and alone when I need to" you might be better off saying something along the lines of, "I enjoy working as part of a team and meeting new people. In addition to this I work well on my own and so feel that working in a bookshop would allow me to use both of these skills." of course even this needs editing but its just a suggestion

    Finally maybe mentioning an interest in books might be useful?
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    Maybe saying that you actually like books?
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    (Original post by hardy_4_paws)

    Finally maybe mentioning an interest in books might be useful?
    I agree maybe something such as:

    ''Being particularly interested in books I read on a regular basis and recently enjoyed .... by.... I also plan to take an A level in English Literature this year to further this interest.''
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    Spelling mistakes are typos and thanks for noting out the other bits (The version I re-read is on note paper). I'll be giving it a few run-overs before putting it on the actual app form though and I know fully well that what I have written in front of me is all spelt correctly.

    Thanks for the note on the robotic point also

    EDIT: I had notes to mention my liking of books [excuse the many I's]
    • PS Reviewer
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    PS Reviewer
    If you have been given a person specification, go through the points and explain how you meet the criteria and what you have done that supports that.
    You need to proof-read it carefully as well.
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    I always proof read and edit it to make the last one though.
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    (Original post by Sir_Vile_Minds)
    Spelling mistakes are typos and thanks for noting out the other bits (The version I re-read is on note paper). I'll be giving it a few run-overs before putting it on the actual app form though and I know fully well that what I have written in front of me is all spelt correctly.

    Thanks for the note on the robotic point also

    EDIT: I had notes to mention my liking of books [excuse the many I's]
    If its better for you, try doing it like this and in this format so it's easy for the employer to read. Have a look:
    http://www.alec.co.uk/cvtips/examstcv.htm
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    Oh. No. I have a C.V. done. This was just for part of an application form I have but I just (half an hour ago) realised I don't need to make an essay out of it really.

    Sorree peoplez fur wassting ur timez.
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    (Original post by Sir_Vile_Minds)
    Does it sound decent enough?
    No.
    It flows poorly and the grammar is dreadful.
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    Just cut it down to its basic requirements. What does the job require of you?

    The probably don't care if you don't actually love books or require you to have a passion for books, if its just a casual sales assistant then basic retail skills and customer service will probably do. Throw in a handful of personality, flexibility and commitment and you're there!

    With regard to your statement you have no examples of the things you are saying. Do you have previous work experience, hobbies or volunteering? If not, still link what you are saying to real things, such as your previous experience means what for them?

    Also, remove things that have no meaning. The last sentence about wearing uniform, that's pretty standard with any job and it should be assumed by both parties - I wouldn't go out any mention it. Its the equivalent to saying you'd appreciate being paid for your work when it's going to happen anyway.
 
 
 
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