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Well, I've miscarried... watch

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    Hey everyone, yesterday I discovered that I'd miscarried my 6 week pregnancy, the baby was my boyfriends... I'm feeling pretty low.
    It was a complete accident because I have the implant, I didn't even know I was pregnant.
    I feel like a murderer because the implant obviously made sure the pregnancy didn't continue, even though I'm only 17 and I'm no way near mature enough to look after a baby.

    My boyfriend lost an unborn brother when he was little, and that still upsets him now, so I don't think telling him would be the best thing to do. He has borderline personality disorder and even little things can tip him over the edge.

    I keep imagining how happy he would have been at the news, what the baby would've looked like, all things like that.

    Could I ask for some words of support? I feel terrible =[
    xxx
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    oh hun you're not a murderer, goodness me it's not your fault! You can't go blaming yourself!

    Miscarriages happen so so often, to people who don't have implants, to people who have been trying to conceive for years, really if a miscarriage is going to happen it's nobody's fault!

    You were being responsible by having the implant - you couldn't have known that you would conceive despite it being there.

    I know this must be a difficult time for you, but you mustn't blame yourself. I don't think your boyfriend would blame you either, despite how he might feel about his unborn sibling. I presume he knew you have the implant? Well the last thing either of you would have expected, therefore, was for you to conceive. It's just one of those things.

    I'm truly sorry for your loss, take some time to grieve, as long as it takes. It might make you feel better to switch to an alternative contraceptive as well.
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    I'm so sorry for your loss hun. I know it's hard even if you didn't know you were pregnant, you've still lost something. I had a miscarriage when i was younger and i didn't know i was pregnant at the time. I still feel horrible about it now sometimes even though it is 3 years on (plus i've just had an abortion so it has brought it all back). It will take time, but days will get easier and you'll start to think about it less, though you will never forget about it.

    I wouldn't tell your boyfriend if it may make him unstable, but maybe tell a friend instead, as you could do with someone to talk to. You could always go to your local clinic and ask to see a counsellor, to talk about things. It may help.

    I hope you are feeling better soon hun :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey everyone, yesterday I discovered that I'd miscarried my 6 week pregnancy, the baby was my boyfriends... I'm feeling pretty low.
    It was a complete accident because I have the implant, I didn't even know I was pregnant.
    I feel like a murderer because the implant obviously made sure the pregnancy didn't continue, even though I'm only 17 and I'm no way near mature enough to look after a baby.

    My boyfriend lost an unborn brother when he was little, and that still upsets him now, so I don't think telling him would be the best thing to do. He has borderline personality disorder and even little things can tip him over the edge.

    I keep imagining how happy he would have been at the news, what the baby would've looked like, all things like that.

    Could I ask for some words of support? I feel terrible =[
    xxx
    I don't really know what to say :o: but I wish you all the best and hope everything will turn out alright for both you and your boyfriend, please don't beat yourself up about it

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    *hugs* You must be feeling pretty vulnerable right now, and I think you should tell some close family members or friends. You deserve all the support you can get at the moment. Please don't blame yourself. You were right to go on the implant so that you wouldn't have an unwanted pregnancy, and it's just worked out that you've miscarried. It's nobody's fault, especially not yours! Blaming yourself is probably the natural reaction, but you can't think that way. If you want to, grieve, it's totally healthy.You could name the miscarried child/foetus (whatever your views are, I'm only suggesting) whatever will make this easier for you.

    If I was your bf I would want to know the truth, because it's only going to hurt him more the later you tell him. Maybe tell a close friend or family member of his first and see what they think? Maybe you could tell them together.

    Take care
    xo
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    (Original post by lostdoll)
    If I was your bf I would want to know the truth, because it's only going to hurt him more the later you tell him.
    They're kids, kids rarely ever date each other forever, so it's better to shush it than **** with the fella's brain even more and kill him mentally.
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    :console: Don't blame yourself.
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    PM if you need a talk
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    Awww sweetie, I hope you're ok. Please don't blame yourself because it definitely wasn't your fault. You know your boyfriend best, so only you can decide whether to tell him but you deserve some support so try and talk to your friends or family. You could ask your GP about referring you to a counsellor if you feel you need some professional help dealing with the situation.

    Lots of hugs (feel free to PM me if you want to chat-anything you say will be confidential)
    xxxxxxxxxxxx
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    OP you're not a murderer! You didn't even know you were pregnant, so it's not like you consciously got rid of your baby or anything like that. I don't think you should tell your boyfriend about this...it may push him over the edge.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For the best. You're far too young anyway. This is God correcting your mistake.


    Somehow I don't think that God is correcting her 'mistake' by killing an unborn child...If so, why would he be so selective about it and not get rid of all other teenager's 'mistakes' as you put it, furthermore, why would he even let young girls conceive?
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    Stay strong, it wasnt your fault, you can't help the way things sometimes work out...
    Plenty of time to have a baby when your older and can give it a proper secure life, enjoy growing up xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For the best. You're far too young anyway. This is God correcting your mistake.
    Oh **** off, you!
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    stop the hate! this poor girl doesn't want to come onto this thread and see you all fighting because of her.

    you should all be ******* ashamed of yourselves.
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    I'm so sorry. Like someone said earlier, take as long as you need to grieve. Hopefully you'll be on your feet and carry on with your life soon. BTW, I don't think I would tell my boyfriend if he's that unstable. Maybe give it a while.
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    Lol!
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    That's horrible, I know what you're going through with regards to the miscarriage, but I never told anyone and I think that was my mistake cause it still upsets me and I have no one to tell 2 years later, I'd feel like a **** and doubt anyone would believe.

    I get why you don't want to tell your boyfriend but I really think you should, for your sake.
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    Oh no! I'm so sorry for you. This happens to many people anyway, i'm sure you'll find someone who's been in a similar position to talk to. I find that always helps. But please don't think it's your fault, miscarriages are very unpredictable and you can't really stop them from happening. I don't think...

    Take care, though. xO
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    Im so sorry for everything.

    The one thing you need to remember it is in no way your fault, you did not intentionally end the babies life, it was a twist of life that isnt exactly a nice one, and has hurt you.

    I think it is better to tell your boyfriend, having to deal with this alone is alot of bother and hurt, and i think if you dont tell your boyfriend now and he finds out later down the line it will hurt even more.

    Again im sorry for everything, alot of people miscarry all the time, they probably feel similar, did they offer you counselling? it may be helpful to you to take this up if you feel like you need to speak to someone.
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    (Original post by Rocious)
    christ. calm down.

    don't make me headbutt your face.
    ...paa.
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    This may be cold as far as reassurance goes but according to wikipedia:

    "Studies using very sensitive early pregnancy tests have found that 25% of embryos are miscarried by the sixth week LMP (since the woman's Last Menstrual Period), even if a woman does not realize it."
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embryo#The_human_embryo
    Under the miscarriage section.

    The accuracy of wikipedia is constantly being questioned but if this is true the odds of an embryo being miscarried at that stage is already 1 to 4 regardless of your implant.

    You should not feel guilty about this, you took measures to stop an unwanted pregnancy from happening in the first place.
 
 
 
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