big problemo indeed
A friend of ours has developed big problems! Watch
- 22-07-2009 13:35
- 22-07-2009 15:31
Set up a fight with Amir Khan, he'll get his head kicked in, you can say 'haha told you so', he'll feel embarrassed, you get your friend back....
- 22-07-2009 15:41
Well if I had made no friends at univeristy and was having a rubbish time, then I'd be in a foul mood all the time aswell. If you put yourself in his place, what would you want someone to tell you to let you know. I mean you never know, say one thing and he might burst into tears, or laugh it off.
If he totally refuses to change though, just persist, becuase if you are like one of his only friends he will be listening, but being a guy he will probably want to pretend it's all fine and laugh it off (okay, massive generalization there)
You could of course all get wasted and let the truth come out haha
- 22-07-2009 17:17
Talk to him and tell him that you all wanna help him but that he's just not fun anymore. The next time he complains one of you can say "Why do you always complain" or something of that ilk.
Above all, talk to him.
(Original post by cchilstonev1)
- 22-07-2009 18:18
Me and my mates have been struggling for a solution to this. We want to help the guy and I'd really appreciate advice, I know it's a long post and I apologize!
Basically I am in a close circle of about fifteen friends, we are all outgoing, up for a laugh people and we always do stuff together like holidays and whatnot.
The problem lies in one of the group members. He's been mates with us for about two years and he's a little bit more eccentric than us and has had a very sheltered upbringing, he didn't really have many other 'best' mates but we thought he was a cool guy so we didn't mind him being mates with us.
He then went to uni. He made zero friends in his first year and is having to share a house with his female cousin and her female friends next year. At uni he NEVER goes out, all he does is study for law and other not-very-social things. When he's home he spends a lot of time with us, which is really good but here's where the problem is:
-He can no longer have fun.
-He looks at EVERYTHING in the most pessimistic way, then voices is pessimism to us all, which is annoying, especially when we're on a lads holiday and all he wants to do is complain.
-He talks constant drivel. Nothing he says is really true anymore but he tries to impress us with facts but they just aren't true!
-He is very, very irritable and shouts at us for nothing.
-He cannot take a joke. At all.
-He is incredibly egocentric, (he actually, in all seriousness, claimed that his taste in music was the 'correct' one! No joke.)
-He has delusions of grandeur. He claimed he can have Amir Khan in a fight and that he is a better batsman than Monty Panesar. He wasn't joking.
We want our mate back, but he's just becoming this enormous arse. What to do? He's just becoming less and less tolerable!
Thanks for any help.
Comfront him and ask him why this is?
try and take him out to parties and other social events
- 22-07-2009 20:44
Yea print out this thread and show it to him.
- 22-07-2009 21:55
Leave him be. The more people in this world like Morrissey the better.
- 22-07-2009 22:16
He probably realises that his year at uni has been a flop socially-and feels really bad about it even if he doesn't let onto it-so has tried to make up for the deficiency by throwing himself completely into his studies. He might have used studying as a coping mechanism, or even a way of trying to become more popular at uni (something along the lines of, "the other students will look up to me and respect me if I'm top of the class" ). Maybe, instead of admitting things haven't gone too well on the friend front, he's convinced himself that he doesn't need friends and that socialising is a waste of time- time which could be better spent studying and so looks down on you for not studying enough. Of course, deep down, he probably really wants to have great friends and good laughs.
I'd say don't be too harsh on the guy. Definitely don't forget about him (not that I think you'd do either of these things). It must have been a hard year for him. Maybe he just hasn't socialised for so long that he needs some time to readapt? Try and do an activity together that won't allow him to be pessimistic and grumpy about things. Maybe paintballing? That can be a heck of a lot of fun and if you've got all the gear on and are running around shooting at each other, then they won't really be an opportunity to complain. Maybe when you're done and go for a drink or something he'll have loosened up and will find it easier to have a laugh.