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    So, I've got a bit of a problem at home currently. My Dad was made redundant 18 months ago and still hasn't found work. He lived for his work and thought that being a father was about bringing home the bacon rather than being there for his kids, teaching them, leading by example etc etc etc.

    It's just that recently, I've grown to really really dislike him as a person. I could go so far as to say I hate him. I am so much like my father and that upsets me because I don't want to be like him - he's not a nice person, he's not respected (I certainly don't respect him at all), he's bigoted, old fashioned, pessimistic and negative. Everything in this world has an 'ulterior motive' to him. Nothing is what it is and someone's always out to get you - that sort of mentality.

    I'm getting on a bit now, I'm an adult myself and have my own opinions and views. This seems to be where we clash hugely. We were arguing over sandwich spread (he won't write a shopping list for my mum because he doesn't like asking for things HE can't afford to buy - when we're living off my mum's salary) and he's not spoken to me for a day and a half.

    It's got to the point now where I'm wondering 'would I miss him if he wasn't here' and worryingly, the answer is no. Me and mum get on great and we could survive extremely comfortably without his presence. In fact, my Dad doesn't contribute anything to anyone anymore. He mopes around the house complaining that he wanted one 'lazy day' after being asked to get something from the attic - he's had a lazy 18 months and it really takes the biscuit. I resent his presence here and I'm starting to dislike myself for feeling this way - like it's unnatural or something.

    I guess I'm not looking for remedies or a solution. Just somewhere to air my frustrations. All my mum says is 'I know' when I say how much of a waste of space he is now so she's not much help either. I don't know what to do. I would love to walk out and not come back. Go and live in my own place but because of financial restraints, I'm stuck here for the forseeable future. I honestly can't bear this anymore
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    That's hardly a problem, is it?
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    Why anon? Surely, if you're an adult, you should respect him for giving you a decent life so far. I'm sure you would have missed him if he left the house when you were 10 years younger.
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    With becoming an adult I think you should realise tht ur dad wont be there forever and the time he has between now and then isnt long. You just got to get on with your own life.
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    At the end of the day, he's your dad and there's nowt you can do about it until you move out.

    Just keep your cool, you don't want to start any in-house fights.
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    Not really much you can do, i know what you mean though, my dad can be similar although he is retired due to ill health.

    Your dad might be a bit depressed that he isn't working. Sitting indoors all day would get most people down, add to that the fact that he's an old fashioned breadwinner type means he's probably feeling quite demoralised at relying on your mum. I'm not saying he is neccessarily a lovely person, but being in his situation might just be bringing the worst out of him.
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    Maybe being laid off from work has effected him personally?
    You could always try talking to him about this, but I don't know him personally so that might not be the best advice
    Just try to tolerate him at least. Everyone gets angry with their parents, and unfortunately for me I was angry with my mum the night before she died. I've never regretted anything more.
    (I'm not comparing situations, that was just an example)
 
 
 
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