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    its like everytime i become friends or even just speak to a guy a couple of times he assumes i must like him, then asks me out and i say no (because i dont like him like that) and the it all becomes uncomfortable. or they dont take no for an answer and become clingy which is just annoying and makes it worse. i never flirt - if i was attracted to these guys i would actually go out with them and want the attention, and im actually really bad at flirting anyway. so then i keep my distance from them because leading someone on is cruel, and then we're just never friends again. im sick of it because it means i never really have any guy friends.

    does this happen to anyone else and what can i do to stop sending out the wrong signals? please help because this is causing very awkward situations at uni and work. thanks.
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    Your coming on too strong?? Or maybe the guys your socialising with want sex or a relationship....?
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    Maybe you're fit and they all want ot bone your brains out?
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    (Original post by sidoraH)
    its like everytime i become friends or even just speak to a guy a couple of times he assumes i must like him, then asks me out and i say no (because i dont like him like that) and the it all becomes uncomfortable. or they dont take no for an answer and become clingy which is just annoying and makes it worse. i never flirt - if i was attracted to these guys i would actually go out with them and want the attention, and im actually really bad at flirting anyway. so then i keep my distance from them because leading someone on is cruel, and then we're just never friends again. im sick of it because it means i never really have any guy friends.

    does this happen to anyone else and what can i do to stop sending out the wrong signals? please help because this is causing very awkward situations at uni and work. thanks.
    My girlfriend has this problem... Some of her guy friends only want her as more than friends. She has only just seen this. The best thing you can do is just ignore any advances and change the subject. You could tell them you have a boyfriend or just stop talking to them all together.
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    I get the same thing, happened last week, happened in uni, theres always that male friend who wants a bit more. Just have to keep in contact, don't avoid them, and you'll be friends again before you know it. Is what I do.
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    When i want a girl to know i'm just interested in friendship, i do things like invite her round or out for a drink, but treat her in a similar way as i do to my male friends. I call her 'mate' and 'pal' and i try not to have any awkward close-up moments and when the evening is over i just say "bye" and don't hang around waiting for her to leave. Just try not to send out signals that you like the guy. Another way which you may think is controversial, is talk to them about guys you DO fancy, that will put the message across loud and clear.
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    jeez, try this, dont flirtkeep it friendly
    aint that hard
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    bone my brains out coz im fit? lol not sure about that!
    but ill try making it very clear and just pretend the passes at me didnt happen and hopefully we'll all forget about it. thanks.
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    ok so yesterday at work this other guy (early 40s) asked why i hadnt called him coz he gave me his card, and when i said i couldnt coz my boss was there he listed all the days when my boss wasnt there and when i could have come for my free meal (he runs a restaurant) - and even i didnt remember all these details. some of my friends think he was being friendly, others think creepy, as i do. he got all angry when i said i had to go. what is up with this, at this rate ill have to stop talking to men full stop.
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    he is being creepy, he sounds a bit forceful and obsesive too. next time you see him call him mate and buddy and stuff like that, you know the friendly terms of affection like that. sounds a bit rubbish but it might work ha.
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    yeah - that's pretty creepy all right

    Right, the universal fact is that girls and guys aren't SUPPOSED to be friends - look at nature, no other animals are "friends" with their opposite sex.

    Now, we have evolved and we're civilised etc, I know that - and girls have adapted to this - but men are still very animalistic and we rely on our instincts, and our instincts are that women are only for mating. So while we CAN have female friends, if they fit out criteria of a "worthy mate" then we will never truly stop liking them, no matter what the guy may say.

    As for your problem.... it's something you're just going to have to get used to really

    Sorry I can't help more,

    latot
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    (Original post by latot)
    yeah - that's pretty creepy all right

    Right, the universal fact is that girls and guys aren't SUPPOSED to be friends - look at nature, no other animals are "friends" with their opposite sex.

    Now, we have evolved and we're civilised etc, I know that - and girls have adapted to this - but men are still very animalistic and we rely on our instincts, and our instincts are that women are only for mating. So while we CAN have female friends, if they fit out criteria of a "worthy mate" then we will never truly stop liking them, no matter what the guy may say.

    As for your problem.... it's something you're just going to have to get used to really

    Sorry I can't help more,

    latot

    thank you for this. ok so its not exactly what i wanted to hear but at least its the truth! there is always that thought there that something could happen. GUYS are there any things that a girl does that makes you think that she likes you? then i can stop doing these things.
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    Yeah... sadly it is the truth for the most part...

    Generally it's just being friendly - us guys are GENERALLY very dumb when it comes to the fine lines of 'friendly' and 'flirty'... so things like:

    + hugging them - and especially if you feel a little awkward hugging them (implies there is a chemistry)
    + leaning in when talking to them
    + laughing at all their jokes, even the stupid stuff...

    You know.. the usual indicators of interest (and I say "them" cos im referring to guys who can't spot the difference.. luckily I finally learned to!!)

    latot
 
 
 
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