i was in a long distance relationship with this guy. we met in high school and everything was amazing between us. then i went away to uni and i know the long distance was really hard for him. i found out from a friend that he had been hanging out with this girl a lot. apparently things had been happening between them but no one knows for sure. for 2 months he basically ignored me pretty much, never called almost and whenever i would hed say hes busy and would call back and if he did at all it would be days later.
he says nothing happened between them but he isnt likely to tell me the truth is he? a lot of other instances like that have happened where ive found out from friends that hes been hanging out with a girl for a while, and seen emails from girls saying stuff like i miss u and i cant deal with u not being there!
he still says nothing has happened but i find it really hard to trust him. its been 3 years now and were still doing the long distance thing. he came to see me recently and he says he loves me and hell stop going out and tell me everything he does and stuff like that so i can trust him. he has changed a bit and i can see hes making an effort. but i cant forget all the stuff thats happened before. should i give it another chance or am i just being stupid by believing anything he says now?
how do i know if he cheated? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 22-07-2009 06:18
- 22-07-2009 11:06
There isn't really a way you can know for sure, unless he/the girl confesses which does seem unlikely. What would bother me more (well not more, but it would bother me) is that he didn't put in enough effort with contact and communication.
The main things you need in a LDR (in my opinion) are communication, honesty and trust. You don't seem to have these things. I'm not going to say whether I think you should break up with him or not, because only you can make that decision and I've been given some pretty dodgy advice on here in the past. It's very easy for people to judge when they're not involved.
All I will say is if you really love him and think it can work given a bit of time and some effort from him, don't feel stupid for giving it a chance. But if you're just putting up with everything because you've been together 3 years and you're comfy, maybe you should reconsider?
- 22-07-2009 17:00
Your post is rather confusing, are you in a relationship with this guy or not?
It seems like you don't trust him. If you can't learn to trust him again you might as well call it a day. If you think you will be able to trust him in future then you might want to stick with it. No one can make the decision for you, but a list of pros and cons for staying with him might work. If it was me I'd have ditched him when the passion disappeared, but that's just me.
- 22-07-2009 17:32
Well especially if you are in an LDR trust is the main component of a relationship. If you cant trust him then you dont have much of a relationship im am afriad.
You need to talk about this together and get all the feelings off of you chest and the same for him, obviously after 3 years its not going to be an easy conversation to have but you should be able to do it as there should be a level between you that you can talk about everything with on another.