Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Ran off with my mate, now she's trying to be friends again Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    A while ago at the start of the summer I got a new job for the summer which meant I had to move away and was working pretty long hours during the day. Me and my GF spoke about it before I acepted to job and we both decided that even though i wouldnt be able to speak with her as often as we'd have liked, it was only for a few summer months and we'd be fine.

    Anyway, turned out that over the past few weeks, She'd been getting pretty sad and lonely and so had been chatting to one of my mates more and more as he was 'there for her'. I thought this was great as he's always been a pretty nice guy and was glad someone was there to speak to her if needed whilst I was away working.

    After a couple of weeks my friend finally admitted that he had really strong feelings for my gf and that she liked him back. At first I didnt believe him and asking my GF she would tell me that it was me she loved. However one day I came home and checked Facebook and they'd set their relationships to going out with eachother. I asked my gf about it and she just kept saying she 'still cared about me' but obviously wanted to be with my mate now instead.

    So, its been over a week now and I havnt spoken to either of them since, however late last night I got a text from my ex basically saying she hoped I was well and asking how work was going etc.

    Im just wondering why she's trying to stay in contact and why she wants to act all friendly when she knows what she's done. What would you guys do in this situation?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    ******* hell!

    You know how to pick em.

    Personally I wouldn't text her back. Why waste your time? She's obviously not worth any of it.

    If you do feel the need to text her back just say something like "yeah great considering, works fantastic" Just crap on about it.

    She's probably made contact with you because she feels really guilty.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Speaking as someone who's boyfriend is abroad working until Aug 17th, I can understand how she would be feeling the need to chat to someone who knows you well in order to cope with the distance.

    However, in investing so much confidence in this certain person, it's clear that her feelings have developed into something more intense than friendship whilst he's been there for her. Although this is tough-going, I can understand how the separation would make her feel pretty neglected by you. I can't help noticing that you said 'turned out she was getting sad and lonely'- did you find this out from her, or your 'friend'?

    Whilst I don't condone their betrayal, it is important for you in future relationships to realise how distance and separation can make your other half feel, especially when communication reaches an all time low. In terms of your ex, she's probably feeling very guilty, and is aware that she's stepped outta line. I would reciprocate the friendliness, perhaps ask her if there's anything you could have done differently?

    That's not to say that all friends/lovers will turn around and spite you, it certainly doesn't sound like there is any malice to their behaviour, but I would put her contacting you down to the fact she obviously still regards you highly, yet is perhaps feeling the pinch of guilt.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    if you feel very hurt, then don't reply for a while, sort yourself out. I think you still have feelings for her otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread. But I could be wrong. If you don't have feelings for her which I doubt, then reply, you can't force someone to love you so you should move on.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Send her a text back saying "It's for the best - I have AIDS anyway".

    No but seriously, if I was you I'd put them both behind me. Your friend clearly isn't a friend if he would go behind your back like that and your girlfriend obviously couldn't trust you enough to tell you.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    holy flaming hell to let you know by changing thier facebook status

    thats awful
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    what would i do? i'd remove them both from my mind, thats what i'd do. certainly would not get into contact with them! i've better things to do than talk to those who cheat me!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Just say: "Please do not text me again, thank you" - if she 'cares' about you then it'll hurt her.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    dont you just want to knock his lights out.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by koko-popz)
    I can't help noticing that you said 'turned out she was getting sad and lonely'- did you find this out from her, or your 'friend'?
    Originally she told me she was getting a bit down, and I tried to talk to her as much as possible (not able to text or call at all whilst working). I thought things had gotten better, untill my mate then said she was still really sad and he'd been there for her when she needed it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    wow

    man that is a cold, ask her wtf is going on, and its your choice wether you want to be friends or not
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ChunkymunkyDJC)
    Just say: "Please do not text me again, thank you" - if she 'cares' about you then it'll hurt her.
    I dont want to hurt her, would rather not stoop to her level
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    What they did was out of order.. particularly not actually really admitting to you that they were dating, simply letting you see the facebook relationship change.

    Obviously you still have feelings for her but I think you need to stand up for yourself and back away from them both. Be strong and you will be okay in the end, I promise it does get easier with time.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 22, 2009
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.