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New boyfriend didn't get me a present for my birthday - should I be concerned? Watch

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    We've been together for about 6 weeks. He gave me a card and that's it. He's working full time with a very comfortable salary.

    I wasn't expecting anything expensive, just a token. Even something handmade would have satisfied me.

    I can't figure out why he didn't get me anything.

    I can't really say anything to him without seeming like a gold digger or materialistic. But I'm hurt by the principle of it all.

    What should I do?
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    Maybe he's trying to take it slow and not make it seem like he's getting too attached..After all, 6 weeks in relationship terms is not that much..
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    Don't buy him anything for his birthday and see how he likes it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together for about 6 weeks. He gave me a card and that's it. He's working full time with a very comfortable salary.

    I wasn't expecting anything expensive, just a token. Even something handmade would have satisfied me.

    I can't figure out why he didn't get me anything.

    I can't really say anything to him without seeming like a gold digger or materialistic. But I'm hurt by the principle of it all.

    What should I do?
    - poke subtle hints at him not getting you a present.
    - get over it.
    - not get him a present.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together for about 6 weeks. He gave me a card and that's it. He's working full time with a very comfortable salary.

    I wasn't expecting anything expensive, just a token. Even something handmade would have satisfied me.

    I can't figure out why he didn't get me anything.

    I can't really say anything to him without seeming like a gold digger or materialistic. But I'm hurt by the principle of it all.

    What should I do?
    A card should be enough. Maybe he's not a material person. Or maybe he's got a present planned?
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    Get your ex to buy you a present, and then show it off in front of him.


    But then again, I'm vindictive.
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    At least he rememberd your birthday, thats one plus, i guess maybe he didnt want to come across as being too keen. Obviously you would have liked one, but dont give up on him already just because he hasnt gotten you a present. Im sure he had a reason. Try and forget about it and not let it get in the way.

    Happy Birthday Btw
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    (Original post by khalaf)
    Maybe he's trying to take it slow and not make it seem like he's getting too attached..After all, 6 weeks in relationship terms is not that much..
    He's been talking about me meeting his parents and me and him looking at houses together.

    He's in his early thirties. Not sure if that effects anything.
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    6 weeks really inst an awful lot of time to get to know someone well enough to buy them a present? Maybe he simple enough didnt know what to get you?

    If it hurts you that much then talk to him, I can accept after like 3-4 months being missed off, but 6 weeks? Seems a little childish to me
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    What the ****? I understand what you're saying, and that it's not that you really wanted anything, you just would have liked some thought, but why would you bring up such a topic?

    I probably would have got somebody something at 6 weeks in, and you probably know him well enough to decide if he's selfish or not, but if he has the money and didn't get you something it's probably because he doesn't want to take it much faster. I always feel this obligation to buy somebody something, even if you been out with them for like 2 weeks then Christmas pops up or something, but that's more out of fear for them getting me something. He shouldn't have to buy you anything at 6 weeks, I mean in that time you don't necessarily deserve gifts from him. You should earn them, and 6 weeks isn't enough. His gift for you being with him for 6 weeks, is him reciprocating.

    EDIT: Oh, just read what you said about looking at houses. Nevermind, my post is void.
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    (Original post by Tom.)
    A card should be enough. Maybe he's not a material person. Or maybe he's got a present planned?
    My birthday was last week.

    As for being a material person, he likes to splash the cash in other respects. That's why this makes no sense.
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    (Original post by tom_tom_tom)
    At least he rememberd your birthday, thats one plus, i guess maybe he didnt want to come across as being too keen. Obviously you would have liked one, but dont give up on him already just because he hasnt gotten you a present. Im sure he had a reason. Try and forget about it and not let it get in the way.

    Happy Birthday Btw
    I'm worried that it may be a sign of general apathy regarding our relationship. A sign of something deeper?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm worried that it may be a sign of general apathy regarding our relationship. A sign of something deeper?
    I can see why you would think that, maybe you are looking a little deep into it. It has been 6 weeks so far, just see how things go and i expect it will be fine. Im sure if he knew how it is making you feel he would have got you something.

    Coming from a guys perspective going out with someone for 6 weeks it is hard to think of something to buy the person.
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    The only present you deserve is a SLAP gold digger !!!
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    It's a tough one. But after considering the fact that his salary is reasonable - as you said. He probably should have got you something. But just move on, 6 weeks isn't really an epic amount of time to be in a relationship. At least you got a card. Then again, it's not very promising if these are going to be his antics lol!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been together for about 6 weeks. He gave me a card and that's it. He's working full time with a very comfortable salary.

    I wasn't expecting anything expensive, just a token. Even something handmade would have satisfied me.

    I can't figure out why he didn't get me anything.

    I can't really say anything to him without seeming like a gold digger or materialistic. But I'm hurt by the principle of it all.

    What should I do?
    Don't listen to what everyone else says. He should have gotten you a bday present. You guys are at an early stage but still AT LEAST friends nonetheless. Is he stingy? If yes, dump the sucker.
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    Probs just tight, doesnt like spending money on others.
    I was annoyed that i got my gf a 1 euro bracelet from my holiday, and she got me nothing from her holiday in Spain. Its the thought that is supposed to count, but like your bf, my gf didnt even give it a thought!
    Makes me feel better about cheating on her lol
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    I wouldn't've bought my girlfriend a birthday present after only 6 weeks. That's far too short a time to be doing it.
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    I went out with a guy once, and 6 months in it was Christmas time. I got him a present (I'd also got him one for his birthday 4 months previously).. and even my Mum sent him a big tub of quality street as a present. However he didn't get me anything. My friends were quite shocked at this... and although I'm not bothered in terms of I don't be friends/go out with people so I can get presents or anything.. I think especially if you've made the effort yourself, the other person should do to, if not just to be polite. I think it's a strange situation because you wonder why they haven't made the effort. Fair enough not everyone has the money to buy gifts, but I think they could come up with something if they try. I wouldn't dream of not buying someone a present back if they bought me one!
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    (Original post by MalcomNewMoney84)
    It's a tough one. But after considering the fact that his salary is reasonable - as you said. He probably should have got you something. But just move on, 6 weeks isn't really an epic amount of time to be in a relationship. At least you got a card. Then again, it's not very promising if these are going to be his antics lol!
    Yes indeed.

    I'm not sure what to think. Maybe it's a sign that he doesn't really care.

    But then, why does he want me to meet his parents? and why has he done other huge things that shows he cares (like travel accross the world just to see me when he was at a long conference).

    It's all so strange.
 
 
 
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