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Why do i always 'freak out' when they get close watch

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    Please keep anon.

    I've always been pretty shy and unconfident when it comes to guys. I'm 18 years old and i've never kissed a guy, let alone been in a relationship.

    However, the last few times i've been out clubbing (fairly drunk) and a guy starts dancing with me, i just...basically freak out and dont know what to do and i basically reject the guy...

    I think its mainly down to the fact that i've never been in a relationship so i dont know how to act but like does this make me frigid?
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    I used to freak out inside And like you, never been in a relationship or kissed... but it was mainly that I knew they wanted more and I wasn't willing to give that made me freak out (and feel bad).

    If you want to dance, or pull, just go with the flow. The guy will generally lead you towards that anyway :rolleyes: If not... stop before they get too interested.
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    Well i think he was going to expect me to kiss him. And because ive not done it before, it makes me feel even more worried.
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    Are you really a man? :eek:

    Sorry, but I watched something on TV last night where this girl freaked out whenever a guy went near her cos she was really a man. But then this one guy didn't mind and they fell in love. Until her dad beat him up and she/he shot him/her self.

    Don't worry about it though, I've always been like that and I had kissed guys. I like to call it charming and endearing rather than weird and freaky though
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well i think he was going to expect me to kiss him. And because ive not done it before, it makes me feel even more worried.
    In that case, gently pull away. I used to just tell the guy sorry but no more, or say I have to go find my friends and dash away

    If you want to go further though, let him kiss you because it's your first time and, from experience, they're going to if you don't anyway :yes:
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    Well I don't know about everybody else but...

    My number is 07...:dontknow:
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    (Original post by falls_whisper)
    In that case, gently pull away. I used to just tell the guy sorry but no more, or say I have to go find my friends and dash away

    If you want to go further though, let him kiss you because it's your first time and, from experience, they're going to if you don't anyway :yes:

    Mhmm. I guess if i make a fool out of myself, its unlikely ill see the person again. Ahaha.
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    I'm 20, and have exactly the same issue. Whenever I go out, I tell myself I'm going to be more confident that night, but it never happens
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    Well, did you want to pull him, or do anything physical with him?

    Are you actually comfortable with pulling a guy you really don't know (not that I'm judging, at all)?

    If not, don't pressure yourself into doing so. Wait for someone who you're comfortable with.

    And, I'm like you....turning 18 in a couple of days, never kissed a guy. A little wierded out too when guys just come on to me (I don't know what to say!). Meh, it doesn't get me too down tbh. It'll happen, and when it does, it'll be fantastic
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 20, and have exactly the same issue. Whenever I go out, I tell myself I'm going to be more confident that night, but it never happens

    Yeh. Im like that too. I try and ignore the fact i get kinda scared almost but then i suddenly realise what is happening =\
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    I know quite a lot of people that react similar. Don't worry about it too much, just give it time. You don't have to snog around in clubs to not be frigid.
    And don't think that just because you haven't kissed anyone yet you'll never do it. You're still young. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with - you might regret it later.
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    yeh, falls_whisper is right. as a guy i would expect to be the leader in going for the kiss etc so really youve just gotta go with the flow and let him go for it. if he goes for the kiss and you want to kiss him too, then try to think of the kiss as something small that doesnt really matter, especially in a club. and try to relax as much as you can. hope this helps
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    (Original post by samjoe)
    yeh, falls_whisper is right. as a guy i would expect to be the leader in going for the kiss etc so really youve just gotta go with the flow and let him go for it. if he goes for the kiss and you want to kiss him too, then try to think of the kiss as something small that doesnt really matter, especially in a club. and try to relax as much as you can. hope this helps

    well i guess. i guess its just i dont know what to expect and i dunno what its gonna be like and stuff. i dunno.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    well i guess. i guess its just i dont know what to expect and i dunno what its gonna be like and stuff. i dunno.
    im gonna be honest, your first kiss isnt gonna sweep you off your feet, it can be kinda clumsy and sloppy. the way i would try and get over this anxiety is to try not expect anything special at all from your first one, if your attached to the outcome of the kiss, it can just make you wayyyyy more nervous. and i guarantee after your first kiss happens (because it will) you will be thinking "omg that really wasnt a big deal at all".
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    This is exactly like me but I have kissed a few guys, but only when I have been drunk. And when a guy comes close to me, i seem to just scowl at them or act really shy which scares them off, when inside my head I really want to dance or chat to them.
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    (Original post by Heather_1)
    This is exactly like me but I have kissed a few guys, but only when I have been drunk. And when a guy comes close to me, i seem to just scowl at them or act really shy which scares them off, when inside my head I really want to dance or chat to them.

    Yeh..especially when they are really good looking ):

    Urghh.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeh..especially when they are really good looking ):

    Urghh.

    Really good looking ones just scare me, and thoughts run through my head thinking why the hell would they like me?!

    It's not that I don't want to do anything, it's just a barrier that comes down and your head takes over. And dancing/flirting or doing anything with a guy seems the scariest thing ever!
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    Have you got a close male friend you can practice kissing beforehand?
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    DANCE - RAPE :woo:

    arghh..this has happened to me everytime ive been "OUT" resulting in one guy biting my ear?? how bizare :rolleyes:

    my guy friends always tell them to F*ck off though ..DEFENDING MY HONOUR!! :eviiltongue:

    dont worry about it too much though just have fun :yes:
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    (Original post by Heather_1)
    Really good looking ones just scare me, and thoughts run through my head thinking why the hell would they like me?!

    It's not that I don't want to do anything, it's just a barrier that comes down and your head takes over. And dancing/flirting or doing anything with a guy seems the scariest thing ever!

    Mhm. I know exactly how you feel. Its like half of me wants to but half doesnt and i never know what to do and so i just make a fool out of myself =\
 
 
 
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