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Why do some people have no friends? watch

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    #1

    I'm talking about people who have moved away from home for university (or worked etc.) and therefore should have been able to make friends. Not necessarily really close friends that you can tell everything to, but people to hang out with, go out with etc.? It can't be shyness - even the most shy people I know still have friends, so what do you think it is? I've met a few people at work who apparently don't have any friends at all and only meet up with their boyfriends (if they have one) and I'm not sure how it happens. It can't really be shyness because if you are too shy to make friends, then surely you are too shy to get boyfriends?
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    deep in love?
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    They have more interesting stuff to do.
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    Some people have social difficulty or may have Asperger Syndrome or those type things.
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    they dont need mates?
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    they have loads, just tell you the opposite so you think theyre a loser and wont try and befirend them.

    they don't like you op
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    Mental disorders.
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    somehow, I get the feeling you're describing yourself OP
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    For loads of reasons, mine is i did make a few 'friends' at university but i dont really like them! I dont live near the university eather so i dont hang round after classes ect. I do talk to people at university but havnt meet anyone id like to hang around with. Also i already have friends from college and school who im really close with so they are enough for me lol Plus i live with my boyfriend and spend alot of time with him! Im not a fan of clubing, i have a group of friends i go on hoilday with but i only really see them when we go away for the weekend lol Living far away is a issue, cant wait to be able to drive in next few months!
    Being shy can be an issue as well, when i started university everyone seemed to already know each other! i am quite shy, so i felt like a loner lucky for me someone in the class was lost i helped them out, we are still 'friends' today.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    For loads of reasons, mine is i did make a few 'friends' at university but i dont really like them! I dont live near the university eather so i dont hang round after classes ect. I do talk to people at university but havnt meet anyone id like to hang around with. Also i already have friends from college and school who im really close with so they are enough for me lol Plus i live with my boyfriend and spend alot of time with him! Im not a fan of clubing, i have a group of friends i go on hoilday with but i only really see them when we go away for the weekend lol Living far away is a issue, cant wait to be able to drive in next few months!
    Being shy can be an issue as well, when i started university everyone seemed to already know each other! i am quite shy, so i felt like a loner lucky for me someone in the class was lost i helped them out, we are still 'friends' today.
    So you do have friends.
    • #2
    #2

    It can't really be shyness because if you are too shy to make friends, then surely you are too shy to get boyfriends?

    not really...i have no problem making friends,but have problem get myself a bf
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    It's not like there's some official declaration that decrees that all shy people must be the same. People are pretty complex, you know. I didn't have friends for about a year into a new school, even though I was desperate to make friends. People fit into different social types, and when you hang around one social type a lot, knowing you don't belong there, it can be hard to motivate yourself to make a friend or two when you know you won't really enjoy their company.

    I made a few good friends, less than 5, and I'm still fairly close with them 3 years on. But making friends now is a nightmare. For some reason I have a dismissive impulse that tells me "you won't get on with this person" even if they say the slightest thing that I find ill-informed/ignorant/silly. I wouldn't say I've made a friend I can get close with in the past 2 years.

    Others will find conventional forms of socialising utterly mind-numbing. Small talk can be quite the pet hate of lots of people. And small talk (even if it's about common interests) is usually the way to making a friendship, and if you can't get past the initial hurdle, well...

    All in all, there are a variety of reasons. People might be in what they feel to be the wrong sort of environment, they might be shy, etc. Besides, I'd say romantic socialising and friend socialising can in some cases be vastly different forms of getting to know people.
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    i know a couple of people like that, mainly because of their relationship with their boyfriend and they lose alot of their friends from spending all of their time with new boyfriends and dont feel the need to have any friends
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    I knew some people like this in high school. Sometimes couples get so into each other they just completely stop seeing their friends, who they may have been ambivalent about in the first place, and they are always seen together. When these couples break up it is not pretty.
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    I think that some people have trouble making friends because other people find it difficult to identify with that person, or sometimes just don't want to identify with that person. Friends can have a large impact for some people on their decisions, so the reactions and opinions of their friends towards the person can also influence how much someone will want to make friends with another.
    Sorry for a bit of a long rambling reply but hope its helpful! =D
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    because people are selfish
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    Maybe they're a complete douchebag so no-one wants to talk to them.
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    They aren't very nice people.
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    These seems a tad narrow minded.
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    (Original post by Hathlan)
    This completely. I can't bear small talk it's so trivial and mundane and fake and painful. And I just don't really like people. They're shallow and nasty and I'm a gentle soul, and all this stuff upsets me, especially when I'm on edge mentally to start with. People make me paranoid and nervous and I don't enjoy their company. Being alone isn't really nice but it's the safe option, and at times I just couldn't handle anything more, and it would stress me out to the point of shoving me over the edge.
    Neither can I. I usually do my best to avoid it. After extended periods of mundane small-talk, the rest of my day turns into a downer and it's pretty hard to return to my normal state of mind. it's strange, but unsurprising.
 
 
 
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