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How to be more confident watch

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    (Original post by 9MmBulletz)
    NAIJA BOY!
    Yup, so I was born with confidence
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    OP one of the best things to do is just to switch your mind off and when you think things like "Oh I shouldn't wear that dress" or "I couldn't enter that competition, people might laugh at me" just think "**** it!" who cares? Other peoples opinions shouldn't matter to you and the more you do what you want and think "Ok I'm going to do this anyway and I don't care what others think" the more people respect you (not that you care...!) and the more able you are to do things without caring what other people think.

    Also try and put things into perspective like say for example you bomb at a party or got dumped or something just think "Is this gonna bother me in 1 year, 5 years or even 10 years" If not then feel free to approach a guy even if you fear getting rejected or doing whatever else stretches you outside your comfort zone.
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    Just because other people seem to be confident dosent mean that they are. I think its never easy to raise ones confidence or it wasnt for me i know, the best thing you can do if you are comfortable with it is the throw yourself in and just see what happens, getting to the point where you are okay to do that is another matter but most of the time things you dont have the confidence to do seem so trivial when you do it after a few times. Stick at what you want to do get some practice i guess and in time your confidence will raise.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the detailed response. Linking to what you said, i find that no one dislikes me because im really shy so i dont have a strong opinion and agree with what everyone says but for more popular people more people like that person and also dislike that person. Im scared to do all these things but i know i need to do this esp since i have uni in september and i dont want to be a loner and hav a miserable 1st year at uni
    All the more reason to execute your plan of becoming more confident. I am currently going through exactly the same thing as you OP (albeit I'm at the end stages) and wanted to be a lot more confident in Uni because I didn't want my situation to be similar to that of my 6th form/high school experience. I mostly got through it by hanging out with really outgoing people and that in turn rubbed off on me. The more you socialise the more used to socialising you are and it all generally becomes easier. What else helped was seeing really confident people and seeing how everything worked for them and (if they were the opposite sex) sometimes I'd be like "He's not good looking [he was skinny, short and had a whiny voice] but damn his confidence [bordering on arrogance] is hot" For the most part he was arrogant...for some reason I find that attractive....but thats beside the point. The point is his confidence in doing things made him a lot more attractive.
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    What exactly are you shy about?
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    U gotta be more alpha bro rather than beta...right now you are totally beta. This aint gonna get you confidence, mates (unless they are beta too) and it sure as hell aint gonna get u girls either.

    Few quick pointers:

    Drop the fear of rejection and just CHILL OUT when talking to a girl.
    DO NOT treat it like a job interview. Use playful answers. Eg she says "How is your love life?" An alpha response will be "Why are u asking...are you interested like?" (in a joking manner).

    If you start to act like this you will start to get results...and confidence will build with interacting with both sex's. At the end of the day u want to be happy with yourself and enjoy it. Confidence is a major part in that. PM me if you want further info tho bro. Remember tho beta sucks, alpha (man) is what you wanna be. After all girls want someone who is strong, will make decisions and protect them...not some pussy that they will eventually resent. Also many guys respect an alpha male because they want to emulate his confidence and interaction levels with people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It always seems that the most popular people are always more outgoing and more confident Unfortunately for me im really shy which means i don't have have that many friends and i dont really ask girls out for fear of rejection. However i know im decent looking and i have a nice personality. Im kind and i can be bubbly but only occasionally I want to be more confident but it seems i just freeze. Any advice as i really want to make more friends and have relationships etc.
    Join clubs. Go out with your friends more. Don't be shy about asking a girl for a dance or to buy her a drink, after all if she says no you probably wont have to see/remember her again.

    Chillax.
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    The answer is dont give a **** what anyone thinks of your opinions and thoughts. Even if people might not agree with you, just do what you want and what you think is right. Yeah some people might dislike what you say but others will love you for it. And you will feel better for being yourself as well.
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    sorry but rule no 1 if you wanna get girls:
    DONT buy her a drink unless shes drunk, even still you come off as easy and desperate
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    Your clothing and hair style can give you more confidence. Of course, don't start wearing anything that will make you uncomfortable and feel even less confident cos you think everyone is looking at your weirdly.

    Like dress smart-casual and a bit more mature, like a jacket or shirt rather than a tatty old hoodie. You'll get girls noticing you a bit more when you are out, which helps to improve your confidence and you'll feel wanted.

    Banish this fear of rejection too. Chances are if you wait even a few seconds too long or hesistate in approaching a girl, your chance is gone. Like a previous poster said, it's not an interview. Don't think too much about the consequences too. You're not trying to find out of she's the one etc. You're just there to enjoy yourself wherever you are and if she happens to relate to you, you're there! And never dwell on being rejected; just forget it and move on because as they say, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

    Or, just have some alcohol That usually helps a bit in bars and clubs.
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    (Original post by La Esmerelda)
    All the more reason to execute your plan of becoming more confident. I am currently going through exactly the same thing as you OP (albeit I'm at the end stages) and wanted to be a lot more confident in Uni because I didn't want my situation to be similar to that of my 6th form/high school experience. I mostly got through it by hanging out with really outgoing people and that in turn rubbed off on me. The more you socialise the more used to socialising you are and it all generally becomes easier. What else helped was seeing really confident people and seeing how everything worked for them and (if they were the opposite sex) sometimes I'd be like "He's not good looking [he was skinny, short and had a whiny voice] but damn his confidence [bordering on arrogance] is hot" For the most part he was arrogant...for some reason I find that attractive....but thats beside the point. The point is his confidence in doing things made him a lot more attractive.
    Im a guy by the way! But your point was still good!
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    (Original post by Nashy19)
    What exactly are you shy about?
    Upsetting people, and doing what they dont want, rejection, easy target to be picked on so i try and hide away etc
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im a guy by the way! But your point was still good!
    Yeah I realised that later especially when I said something like "Don't be afraid of wearing that dress/ Approaching a guy" lol.
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    This sounds like crap, and I say it a lot, but "fake it til ya make it", just go out, and pretend that you're the most confident person in the world, even though you're not. It really works! and eventually, your natural confidence will shine through, because you'll feel more easy in social situations etc. I used to have 0 confidence, because of a number of reasons, but as soon as I started doing this, I felt way more confident. You kind of have to fool yourself into it, if that makes sense.

    Also, don't be scared of doing what people don't want. You don't have to do what other people want you to do. They'll probably respect you more for not being a doormat.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hey guys, thanks for all this advice. I have a lot more confidence now, although not perfect. xx
 
 
 
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