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Friend who fancied me stops talking as much now I have a girlfriend watch

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    Can someone read through this please (I hope it's not too long winded/complicated)?

    There was a girl who I have no interest with dating or anything like that, and we naturally got talking months and months ago eventually growing to what I thought is a close friend. At first all our friends (we're part of the same group of friends) were saying things like "She won't leave you alone till she gets to shag you".

    Now this really annoys me when people say that, furthermore she is pretty ugly (I don't know how to put it nicely, but it's a forum so meh). She rarely ever seems to date guys or whatever, we talked about loads of stuff like good friends do and got on well.

    Then when I get a girlfriend who I'm insanely crazy about, suddenly she hardly ever talks and generally ***** off all the time when I put in effort to talk to her. Firstly, I've been on a bit of a downer basically the whole year and it's pretty obvious how happy I am and how I've straightened out and got my act together since I got a girlfriend... She has no interest in that at all it seems, she hasn't even gave me a 'congratulations', 'good for you' or anything like that, other friends have and their happy for me.

    I spark up conversation with her about the things she does an she goes off talking loads and I show interest like I always have, then I tell her about my day with the girl I'm seeing (I don't do much else) and she's like... "Cool..." or "oh fairplay..." and that's it.

    Secondly, I really take offence to this because I would of happily told her to **** off the second I found out she was interested in me because she wanted to shag me and that's it. But instead I took the time to see if we could just be friends. She's 19 years old and we've been 'friends' for 6-9 months.

    Doesn't it just seem a little weird, it's really annoying me. Should I just ignore her from now on, I can't be arsed to make an effort to talk to people if they just want to get me naked or whatever it is that motivated her to talk to me. I feel like going to my friends and saying how much she does my head in and I now hate her because she's acting like a ****, it'll eventually reach her which would be good.

    It seems like such a selfish act, and at the time I was starting to see the girl she was blatantly trying to persuade me it isn't worth seeing her. Again I feel like taking offence, should I? I just ignored it, because I knew she fancied me like a little teenage brat, but I thought maybe she had enough sort of maturity and intelligence to realise... I would never ever be anything more than a friend to her!

    Yea I hate her so much, even more after typing this, blaaahh. Should I let me friends know how much I'm pissed off at her selfish act? Or just bottle it up and be the nice person again. Either way, should I just ditch this so called friendship because it isn't doing anything good for me.
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    You can practically feel the jealousy radiating off her xD

    If she's being a crap friend then you might as well ignore her until she accepts your girlfriend. I've been in her position a few times so I know how she feels so it may take her a while to calm down. She's probably more angry than anything else.

    Give her some space for a while and gradually get back into conversation with her. If she still point blank refuses then its her loss at the end of the day. Jealousy is a cruel mistress xD
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    Wow...I think you're being a little harsh.
    Its obvious she likes you, and you could have set the record straight when you got to know her earlier.
    I think the best thing to do would be to leave her be and don't even try talking to her - let her have some space and get over the fact you're with someone.
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    (Original post by Cupid Stunt)
    She has no interest in that at all it seems, she hasn't even gave me a 'congratulations', 'good for you' or anything like that,

    You want a congradulations from the girl who fancies you as you got a girlfriend who isn't her?
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    What do you expect? It's common human behaviour. Would YOU make an effort to maintain contact with someone who you liked for so long if they got an SO?

    I think you're clueless tbh.
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    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    Wow...I think you're being a little harsh.
    Its obvious she likes you, and you could have set the record straight when you got to know her earlier.
    I think the best thing to do would be to leave her be and don't even try talking to her - let her have some space and get over the fact you're with someone.
    Oh, maybe I am. But I did set the record straight time and time again from the start. I said to her and to friends, I thought she'd have accepted that and either buggered off or become friends with me.

    (Original post by Pickford)
    You want a congradulations from the girl who fancies you as you got a girlfriend who isn't her?
    I want a congratulations from a friend who I thought cared about me as a person now that I'm happy. But instead it feels like she doesn't actually care about me she just wants to have sex with me, or say I'm her boyfriend.

    It just seems selfish.
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    (Original post by thatrollingstone)
    What do you expect? It's common human behaviour. Would YOU make an effort to maintain contact with someone who you liked for so long if they got an SO?

    I think you're clueless tbh.
    Hell yeah, we're meant to be friends, I'd stay with a friend forever not till he/she finds a partner.

    We're 19 going on 20, it's like dealing with a 13 year old girl who has a crush on you. I thought I had a mature friendship, also, it isn't fair because she fancied me for the way I look. I can't help that (sounds cocky but seriously, can't I just be a friend)?
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    (Original post by Cupid Stunt)
    Hell yeah, we're meant to be friends, I'd stay with a friend forever not till he/she finds a partner.

    We're 19 going on 20, it's like dealing with a 13 year old girl who has a crush on you. I thought I had a mature friendship, also, it isn't fair because she fancied me for the way I look. I can't help that (sounds cocky but seriously, can't I just be a friend)?
    Well you might have a point, considering you said that you two were meant to be good friends. Maybe it has just come as a shock for her? Trust me, it's not easy maintaining good contact when the person you've liked for so long hooks up with something else after being single. I think she'll come around in due time.
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    Well clearly she's jealous and was mainly your friend because she wanted it to go somewhere one day... now it seems she is sulking. There isn't much you can do but if you were to sit her down and explain you still want her as a friend if she can behave like one then I'm sure she would snap out of it. Alternatively if you don't want her as a friend it might be worth just backing off ...
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    You knew this girl had a crush on you. You chose to be her friend.

    She interpreted this sign of acceptence as friends slightly differently.

    By choosing to be her friend, this gave her hope that you might be willing to take it further, that you might eventually fall for her. What you took for as a friendship, she embraced herself in it and the ''months and months'' you spent talking becoming close was a big mistake on your behalf.

    If someone likes you and you dont like them back, what kind of signal are you sending them by talking to them loads and becoming close? No wonder the girl got confused.

    Fair enough she was also setting herself up for a heartache but expecting her to take an interest in your relationship is rubbing salt on the wound.

    Good for you, you're happy in your relationship. Dont speak to her as much, allow her to move on and find a relationship that she's happy in.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You knew this girl had a crush on you. You chose to be her friend.

    She interpreted this sign of acceptence as friends slightly differently.

    By choosing to be her friend, this gave her hope that you might be willing to take it further, that you might eventually fall for her. What you took for as a friendship, she embraced herself in it and the ''months and months'' you spent talking becoming close was a big mistake on your behalf.

    If someone likes you and you dont like them back, what kind of signal are you sending them by talking to them loads and becoming close? No wonder the girl got confused.

    Fair enough she was also setting herself up for a heartache but expecting her to take an interest in your relationship is rubbing salt on the wound.

    Good for you, you're happy in your relationship. Dont speak to her as much, allow her to move on and find a relationship that she's happy in.
    I just don't think it's fair that I can't be friends with someone because of the way I look. That's what it feels like, I'm either a shag target or a nobody to her, that's the way I'm seeing it.

    It's like saying you can either be her boyfriend or not know her at all, there isn't a middle ground, it's stupid you'd think people have the decency and courage to at least type something on msn even. I mean face to face it might be hard, but at least put a bit of effort into pressing a ******* keyboard. Ahhh well, never mind, what a bore maybe I'm just looking to complain about things.
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    I wonder how the responses would change if the genders in this story were reversed...
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    tell her to piss off
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    How can you not understand her actions? She liked you, now you have a girlfriend and it's not her, so she is jealous and hurt. She lays low, which is the best thing she could do, and you dont get that? Wow.
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    (Original post by Cupid Stunt)
    Can someone read through this please (I hope it's not too long winded/complicated)?

    There was a girl who I have no interest with dating or anything like that, and we naturally got talking months and months ago eventually growing to what I thought is a close friend. At first all our friends (we're part of the same group of friends) were saying things like "She won't leave you alone till she gets to shag you".

    Now this really annoys me when people say that, furthermore she is pretty ugly (I don't know how to put it nicely, but it's a forum so meh). She rarely ever seems to date guys or whatever, we talked about loads of stuff like good friends do and got on well.

    Then when I get a girlfriend who I'm insanely crazy about, suddenly she hardly ever talks and generally ***** off all the time when I put in effort to talk to her. Firstly, I've been on a bit of a downer basically the whole year and it's pretty obvious how happy I am and how I've straightened out and got my act together since I got a girlfriend... She has no interest in that at all it seems, she hasn't even gave me a 'congratulations', 'good for you' or anything like that, other friends have and their happy for me.

    I spark up conversation with her about the things she does an she goes off talking loads and I show interest like I always have, then I tell her about my day with the girl I'm seeing (I don't do much else) and she's like... "Cool..." or "oh fairplay..." and that's it.

    Secondly, I really take offence to this because I would of happily told her to **** off the second I found out she was interested in me because she wanted to shag me and that's it. But instead I took the time to see if we could just be friends. She's 19 years old and we've been 'friends' for 6-9 months.

    Doesn't it just seem a little weird, it's really annoying me. Should I just ignore her from now on, I can't be arsed to make an effort to talk to people if they just want to get me naked or whatever it is that motivated her to talk to me. I feel like going to my friends and saying how much she does my head in and I now hate her because she's acting like a ****, it'll eventually reach her which would be good.

    It seems like such a selfish act, and at the time I was starting to see the girl she was blatantly trying to persuade me it isn't worth seeing her. Again I feel like taking offence, should I? I just ignored it, because I knew she fancied me like a little teenage brat, but I thought maybe she had enough sort of maturity and intelligence to realise... I would never ever be anything more than a friend to her!

    Yea I hate her so much, even more after typing this, blaaahh. Should I let me friends know how much I'm pissed off at her selfish act? Or just bottle it up and be the nice person again. Either way, should I just ditch this so called friendship because it isn't doing anything good for me.
    I feel bad for the girl. It's really, really **** when you like someone and they don't like you back, then are happy with someone else really quickly. If you know she likes you, why keep talking to her about your new girlfriend? I think it's you who is being a little bit selfish. Try to be sensitive of her feelings. If you feel it is just making things harder for her you should stop speaking for a while.
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    :facepalm:

    To be fair, you are trying to shove the fact you're in a relationship down her throat a bit.

    You know she likes you, and you're telling her everyday about your 'amazing' girlfriend and how you love her etc, and you expect her to say "GOOD ON YER LAD, YOU GOT A FINE LASS THERE!"

    You're making the situation with her awkward by telling her all about your girlfriend when she obviously has feelings for you. And tbh, what else would someone say when you're talking about to someone about your girlfriend, or even anyone. "Yes, you seemed to have a fantastic time without me. Did you see dolphins?" There really isn't anything to say.

    Just leave her to get over it and stop shoving the fact you have a girlfriend that isn't her down her throat.

    /rant.
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    she got annoyed at u and ignored u just because she fancied u ,and got pissed for u got a gf and showed off in front of her.its quite understandable.what ur friends said'She won't leave you alone till she gets to shag you" was probably crap.

    I think now u just have to leave her alone.u sound not like her a bit,why do u care so much anyway...
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    Maybe shes just trying to back off a bit - if its obvious she likes you then maybe she doesn't want to come across like shes flirting with you and stuff when you have a girlfriend.
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    I didn't read one word of this thread, but im pissed so i want to headbutt you for writing so much. Thankyou.
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    It's pretty obvious really. She liked you at the start, probably likes you more now that she knows you despite the fact you say you made it clear you weren't into her, and is now hurting because you have a girlfriend. None of this is your fault and you have a right to be annoyed that she isn't speaking to you as she used to, but you can't blame her as she's probably just trying to keep her distance and get over you. I think you should let her be. She'll probably come around.
 
 
 
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