Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Basically, I'm gay. I'm only attracted to guys and while I accept it and don't think there's anything wrong with it, I find girls to be far more attractive personality wise. In particular, there's one girl who I'm in love with. I love everything about her and I could easily see myself spending the rest of my life with her. Basically we've been very good friends for the last four years and I've never made it anything more than a friendship because I'm worried it could hurt her down the line since she doesn't know I'm only attracted to men. This has happened various times before(though not as strongly obviously) where I meet a woman who is attractive to me in every way possible except physically(though she may be attractive in that respect to straight men) but I can't do anything about it in fear of hurting her in the future. I don't know what to do anymore! Should I just tell her how I feel and hope that it all works out? I really need some advice but please don't tell me to find a substitute boyfriend. It's not that easy. Not to mention the fact that it would be my dream to settle down with the woman I love and bring up children(which would be rather hard I'll admit ) Well, thanks for listening.

    Right, so you're gay and you want the wife and 2.4 kids but you don't find women sexually attractive at all?

    Can't you keep on like you are with these women, but let them know you're gay, chances are they'll either be shocked and hurt that you didn't tell them before and take a while to get over it, or your relationship will stay the same, loving a friendly but with no chance of them getting hurt when you're not trying to make a move on them.

    Can't you have the house and the kids with a boyfriend/husband and adopt? There's no rush to do any of these things, you will probably find a man that's got a wonderful personality and is just as good for you as your female friends, but that you find sexually attractive and exciting, the entire package.

    Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick at all

    I just wanted to say that I have heard this from another gay guy, that he would ideally like to live with a woman because he finds them much better company etc and that his attraction to men is mainly sexual.

    Tough situation I know, but I agree with the poster above, I think you will eventually find a man who you can adopt kids with and have that kind of life. It's probably the case that most other gay guys around your age aren't thinking about that kind of life just at the moment, but they will be in a few years time.

    I agree with Sakura-Chan, maybe you just need to find a guy who wants to settle down and get married. As as she says you can always adopt or go for artificial insemination if you want a genetic child.

    Personality wise maybe you're going for the wrong type of guy, sounds like you'd want someone more effeminate ... Not sure ...
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 22, 2009


students online now


Exam discussions

Find your exam discussion here

Should predicted grades be removed from the uni application process

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.