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    Argh. Just got back from an interstate visit to see the rels - I did it out of loyalty etc and because I love my aunt.

    Anyway - her husband is quite challenging to deal with. I take it as it comes, because I'm there to see my other family and I'm still gonna send them a nice big box of Haighs chocolates (we do them better here in Adelaide if you ever make it to Oz just so you know), but I'm still a bit angry about the things he said at dinner a few nights ago.

    I'm back home, but he said some pretty sexist and racist things about MY friends and family and I didn't say much at the time, but I'm fuming :mad:

    I called him something offensive back and he was surprised I 'had it in me' because I'm usually so sweet, calm and thoughtful.

    I should have handled the situation better, because even tho it's known he's a chauvanist, I'm meant to be this educated and intelligent lady and wasn't acting in in my anger about what he said to me.

    Any thoughts?

    Sorry about this thread it's a bit lame hey.
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    You didn't react unreasonably at all.
    You should defend your family and friends to the end.
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    Give him the following ultimatum:

    If he wants to carry on being your uncle he has to stop being a chav.
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    Thank you, but I defo made a negative impression because when it was time for me to leave, all he said was 'your.. aunt... loves you, and she'll miss you heaps when you leave'. But he didn't give me a hug or anything like he usually would :confused:
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    (Original post by The Legacy 1)
    Give him the following ultimatum:

    If he wants to carry on being your uncle he has to stop being a chav.


    I LOVE this forum sooooo much!!!

    :p:
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    You're still upset about it?

    If you can't talk to him rationally and persuade him that he's wrong, then just ignore him. There's no law saying you have to be friends with your Aunt's husband, and it's really not worth getting worked up about some guy's opinions, if he's not going to change them any time soon.
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    (Original post by danni_bella)


    I LOVE this forum sooooo much!!!

    :p:
    I love giving helpful advice on H&R just as much :bigsmile:
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    (Original post by danni_bella)
    Thank you, but I defo made a negative impression because when it was time for me to leave, all he said was 'your.. aunt... loves you, and she'll miss you heaps when you leave'. But he didn't give me a hug or anything like he usually would :confused:
    He doesn't have a right to say those things, you shouldn't have to put up with it. The way I see it, you're not in the wrong at all.

    EDIT: Oh hey, 500 posts
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    (Original post by Spanghew)
    You're still upset about it?

    If you can't talk to him rationally and persuade him that he's wrong, then just ignore him. There's no law saying you have to be friends with your Aunt's husband, and it's really not worth getting worked up about some guy's opinions, if he's not going to change them any time soon.
    Yep! I still am, because of what he said of me not being ladylike about me calling him something quite nasty back :o:

    He said that I was never gonna be miss popularity with a 'mouth like that' oopsies.
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    Few things grate more than being expected to demurely sit and listen to offensive drivel without retort, simply because you're a niece/a women/whatever else could be regarded as 'meant to be seen and not heard', so I don't think anyone would blame you. Might make him put a bit more thought into what he says in future which, from what you say, can be no bad thing.
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    #1

    (Original post by danni_bella)
    Argh. Just got back from an interstate visit to see the rels - I did it out of loyalty etc and because I love my aunt.

    Anyway - her husband is quite challenging to deal with. I take it as it comes, because I'm there to see my other family and I'm still gonna send them a nice big box of Haighs chocolates (we do them better here in Adelaide if you ever make it to Oz just so you know), but I'm still a bit angry about the things he said at dinner a few nights ago.

    I'm back home, but he said some pretty sexist and racist things about MY friends and family and I didn't say much at the time, but I'm fuming :mad:

    I called him something offensive back and he was surprised I 'had it in me' because I'm usually so sweet, calm and thoughtful.

    I should have handled the situation better, because even tho it's known he's a chauvanist, I'm meant to be this educated and intelligent lady and wasn't acting in in my anger about what he said to me.

    Any thoughts?

    Sorry about this thread it's a bit lame hey.
    Well men will always be more dominant than women, so there's nothing wrong with that really. Tell me you don't like it when a man is dominant and likes to have banter with a girl.
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    What he doesn't understand is that I couldn't give a flying **** about being miss popular :rolleyes:

    I care more about having QUALITY friends, then heaps that are annoying and don't know the real me.

    So... I have quality friends
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well men will always be more dominant than women, so there's nothing wrong with that really. Tell me you don't like it when a man is dominant and likes to have banter with a girl.
    It depends on how it's done.

    If it is done cleverly, then I'm not gonna mind. But if he's making fun of MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THEN I'M NOT TOLERATING IT.
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    at least he didn't touch you up :p:
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    (Original post by danni_bella)
    What he doesn't understand is that I couldn't give a flying **** about being miss popular :rolleyes:

    I care more about having QUALITY friends, then heaps that are annoying and don't know the real me.

    So... I have quality friends
    This is how it should be.
    Now I don't have many friends but I won't let anyone insult them and get away with it. You did exactly the same thing.
    Personally, I would have broken him across my knee but I understand if you don't wanna do that.
    His opinion means nothing, he isn't entitled to one.
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    (Original post by Sh4w)
    He doesn't have a right to say those things, you shouldn't have to put up with it. The way I see it, you're not in the wrong at all.

    EDIT: Oh hey, 500 posts
    Thank you, and congrats!
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    (Original post by ronaldo91)
    at least he didn't touch you up :p:
    He made a comment about my boobs being big, thus my life must be so much easier than his :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by danni_bella)
    Argh. Just got back from an interstate visit to see the rels - I did it out of loyalty etc and because I love my aunt.

    Anyway - her husband is quite challenging to deal with. I take it as it comes, because I'm there to see my other family and I'm still gonna send them a nice big box of Haighs chocolates (we do them better here in Adelaide if you ever make it to Oz just so you know), but I'm still a bit angry about the things he said at dinner a few nights ago.

    I'm back home, but he said some pretty sexist and racist things about MY friends and family and I didn't say much at the time, but I'm fuming :mad:

    I called him something offensive back and he was surprised I 'had it in me' because I'm usually so sweet, calm and thoughtful.

    I should have handled the situation better, because even tho it's known he's a chauvanist, I'm meant to be this educated and intelligent lady and wasn't acting in in my anger about what he said to me.

    Any thoughts?

    Sorry about this thread it's a bit lame hey.
    I completley understand the dilemma - alot of my family are latent racists/islamophobes.

    How is your Aunt about your taking him to task? I generally find it causes issues to challenge opinions so have developed a method of ignoring it. However it's probably a bit diff in your case as he was talking about your friends and family.... hmm, I suppose if you can get away with it, the next time he says something challenge him on it...arh, it's difficult. Sorry!
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    it's spelt chauvinist, get it right, woman!
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    Man I hate chauvinism ><
 
 
 
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