This is all going to sound a bit stupid but I have to put it somewhere!
I finished final year of uni in may, and left in june then had my graduation last week so its all over now.
Straight after my exams in summer went on hol with my boyfriend but things went a bit wrong and I was really depressed when I was there and couldnt eat for a couple days, which has happened to me before in the past (not with him tho!) and I just figured it would pass which it did and I managed to eat again. We split up straight after that when we came back kind of mutual decision, I think he knew I wasn't happy and I was moving away also, but we had been together since last sept and although thats not really that long, it was pretty 'serious' in that time.
I thought I didn't care but I was a bit stupid and had a one night stand with a friend 3 days after breaking up (god knows why) and was a bit upset for a couple weeks.
Then I got a temporary job abroad in europe for a couple months. I decided to go cos pay good and not many grad jobs in the uk. Anyway when I got there I felt really down again and kind of alone as away from all my mates; it got a bit better when i got put in a flat instead of a hotel but still v hard not speaking the language and not really knowing many people- but this is a challenge anyway and not forever.
I came back to england last week for graduation, and im going back abroad on monday. I am meant tp be going to global gathering tomoz but kinda regretting the decision as I just dont feel up to it and im not too into the whole 'drug' scene that would be there anyway (i know, silly decision to ever buy a ticket, but i like some of the djs/acts , bah) and I just now feel i can physically take 48 hrs of mentaldancing. so i kinda decided maybe to just go for tommorow night as thats when the best acts (imo!) are playing anyway; and come back sat as i have to fly monday and got heaps to sort out by then.
Just its not like me to feel like this and not be wanting to do stuff, i just have no energy for it and feel crap and crying all the time. I went to doctor about it and he said you're probably depressed (duh) but he wouldnt do anything except give me 10 pills of some anti depressant to take at night to try and regulate my sleep as not been sleeping much (half the problem i think). But he cant do anything til I come back.
I gotta go away for another month and right now it just feels like a huge struggle I cant sort anything out til then, and I dont wanna feel so miserable all the time, I hate it. I know the answer is get it sorted with doc/counselling/etc but I cant even do this for 1 month. Its not so bad I shouldnt go (im not like suicidal) but i just feel genuinely miserable, amd patehtic for being sad. I just feel like uni ended and break up etc and I have a temp job yeah, but after that I have no idea where I'm going or what to do and instead of being excited I feel nervous and scared,
Really gone on too much so going to post this anyway eek, just wondered if I was being a complete idiot about this and if anyone else felt similar. Thanks
Half of the top 10 aren't even RG...