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Social Anxiety Disorder - do you have it? watch

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    I have this! I'm okay on the phone.. but if I have to meet people I don't know (I'm starting my pgce soon and on the induction day I felt sooo nervous) I get pretty paranoid they're staring at me.. I get paranoid about everything, my accent, how I talk, if they think I'm fat.. ugly.. I get paranoid they're staring at my nose.. everything
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    Wow, never knew I did, but i fit most of if not all of those symptoms, i'm constantly paranoid about what people are thinking of me.
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    I used to try everything under the sun to get out of phoning someone, then I got a job in a call centre and unsurprisingly it got much better, I've phoned Experian, Student Finance, HMRC, Ikea and a wallpaper shop within the last month without any problems. I hate social situations with big crowds, which probably explains why i'm averse to clubbing and the like.
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    I feel really faint and "not quite there" in places with a lot of people, like Tesco.
    I think it's considered agrophobia though.
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    Brilliant, now there is a name for that thing that was so unique about me.
    • Thread Starter
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    I have been neg-repped, although I am being very serious about this.

    I am not trying to scare people or label people, just trying to understand if there is a reason why I am, how I am. And asking the opinion and advice of TSR.


    If you are taking it the wrong way, then I am sorry.
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    no
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    (Original post by Absinth)
    I think everybody has this to some extent, some more than others, but I think it's counter productive calling it a mental disorder.
    Makes sense.

    I think it's worse with the way the world is made out to be, though. We're paranoid about everything thanks to the stupid media.
    • #4
    #4

    when i had decent friends i didn't care about NOTHING.I used to think I was awesome even though i wasnt that gorgoeus.i didn't care for hte eye contact,public speaking,sitting round,talking to strangers or anything
    then all suddenly everything changed when I stayed alone and I realised life is not that great and started feeling more nervous around people
    i think its been 2 years since this stupid thing started.now i think i got over most of it.the worst was when i got muscle twitches:/ now i am just kinda shy
    i found relaxing exerices really effective,running is great
    generally do something u like to get over it
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    I didnt even know this existed. In one way I feel better, in others... what am i supposed to do? I cant talk to ne1 about it, they wont understand. Oh well.

    I'm Just gonna stop avoiding the situations and cutting myself off from every1.
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    (Original post by thatrollingstone)
    Ahh I wish I could do that. At what age did you change?
    Between the final year of secondary school and the start of uni.
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    yes :sadnod: :bawling:
    i have been suffering for years now (18 now)and i rarely go out because of it
    i have severe panick attacks and i have a bad phone phobia
    i am trying to get help now, i just hope someone will help
    • #4
    #4

    do you think by changing environment like country. I will completely get over it?
    if someone had a similar situation let me know
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    I've got some of the symptoms listed mostly I'm just not great with talking to people I don't know. I'll have a conversation with someone then question why I said something or I'll find it impossible to respond in a fluid way like others can and withdraw. Oddly enough for public speaking if I have a speech or something specific to talk about I need to plan it down to the smallest detail to feel confident. However, if I'm being directly challenged or questioned I'm fine, more than fine really I thrive on it.

    Phone calls are hell though I'm better than I was, I can pick up a phone if it's ringing because I've mentally converted the fear into mild annoyance at the intrusion. However, I can't call someone without feeling panicy. Sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach, dry mouth and I also tend to talk quickly and stumble over words.

    I'm getting better with practice but I still have to do the target setting thing. It's where if I have to be in an uncomfortable situation I'll set myself a goal so I'll tell myself to sit down somewhere in the room full of people and stay calm for about 5-10 minutes. Then I'll step it up to approaching someone who either seems friendly or I've met briefly. That way I can slowly ramp up how gut wrenching the situation is.

    Oh and someone mentioned the smiling thing, I've found that if I smile when I enter a room or meet someone they'll respond more positively and so I feel less anxious. I sound weird there but I mostly find I've developed ways to cope and push my way through things that frighten me.
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    if a doctor told me I had it I wouldn't be the slightest bit suprised. I fit almost all of those things.
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    I'm too paranoid about what other people think of me too it's crappp
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    I definitely have some symptoms of it. The most extreme one is my phobia of public speaking, or having to say something about myself in front of a group. I get very worked up about it, I don't think there's much that could make me more nervous than that.
    I don't have much of a problem with phones, in fact I've been told I have a very good telephone manner and I think I do come across as quite confident in most phone calls. I also hate being alone with someone I don't know, in an informal setting, in situations in which I feel like I'm expected to be chatty with them, because I know how bad I am at small talk and this makes me nervous. I've often been seen as the quiet one throughout school and stuff but I feel like I have improved so it sucks now when I hear someone say that I'm quiet because I do make effort. I'm not sure if it's shyness but most of the time I feel like I don't have anything worth saying and I over-analyse everything I think of saying to the extent where I end up not saying it
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    I think the more you think about it or keep your attention on yourself, the worse it is. You have to turn your focus to something else
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    I had low self esteem for years and it's still not fabulous but from personal experience I would always tell anyone to go for it.

    Doing something that scares you is scary as hell and sometimes it goes as badly as you predicted and worried it would. But by hiding away in a little shell you will never get any happier, life's experiences will pass you by and you'll feel worse for always being the one who stayed in and never took a chance.

    Start small. I used to absolutely hate using the phone and still avoid private numbers as i feel im not "prepared" to answer. But it's part of life and being a working person in society to communicate with people and one day you will absolutely have to. It's better that you get used to something so that it's normalised than one day having to do everything at once and completely freaking out. Practice makes perfect.

    I don't want to tell anyone to "snap out of it" but i'm grateful to my mum now for forcing me to ring my own employers, make my own appointments, do things myself when i really didn't want to. Once you've done it once, you can do it again and again until it doesnt scare you ********.

    Finally, think of all the people you walk past on a daily basis. How many of them do you actually remember now? People are concerned with themselves and barely anyone else. Even if you have toilet roll on your shoe and snot hanging out your nose, people will walk past and forget. You are just another person.
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    To everyone on this thread :console:
 
 
 
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