Please keep this anon or delete, people from work know me on this forum.
The story is basically this:
I am not very popular at work or in life. I realised that one girl always used to make an effort with me at work when other people would ignore me. This made me think that maybe I should reciprocate this effort and make more effort with her AS A FRIEND, nothing more. She probably found this offensive because I started to chat to her more than she wanted me to so she has backed off from me. Now she quite obviously tries to avoid me at work and often I am left as a complete loner now.
Is she saying that I did something wrong or was she just fake with me beforehand to lure me into a false sense of security? In one way, if nobody else likes me at work then I can sort of understand why maybe she would be reluctant to be seen as my only friend, but then again she has no reason to dislike me as I have always said the right things with her.
I really do not know how to deal with this situation. Shall I ignore her completely (cutting my nose off to spite my face, as I will be left alone while she mingles with other colleagues) or carry on making an effort and pretend I am oblivious to the situation (acting like a doormat, which quite frankly I am sick of).
Advice needed please, need to know how to deal with rejection Watch
- Thread Starter
- 23-07-2009 21:56
- 23-07-2009 22:00
Lock ALL knives, blades and rope you own into a closet.
- 23-07-2009 22:04
Hmm that's a really difficult situation.
So have you never really got along with your colleagues? Why is this- shyness? Because I know there used to be a few shy guys where I worked and while obviously no one disliked them (they had no reason to), often people just didn't know what to say. I always made an effort because I know how much it sucks to feel like you're on your own but I'll admit I couldn't make the conversations last long. Maybe the more you talked, the more she realised she didn't really know what to say and so stopped trying. I don't know-but I doubt she meant anything sinister. Sadly in work situations (as with school etc), some people do care about looking "cool" and so I guess you can't rule that out, but think about it like this- if she cared that much what everyone else though she would never have made an effort with you. I don't think you should stop trying just yet, I know you don't want to be seen as a doormat (and I can completely understand that) but I don't think you should give up yet. Still be friendly and talk but maybe try and take it more gradually because if you went from exchanging the odd pleasantry to acting like best mates I can see she might be a bit confused. I'm sorry I can't offer much more help, I hope things work out ok!