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My boyfriend's making me miserable Watch

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    (Original post by hannahlou27)
    Ok, so I've been with my boyfriend for just under a year and a half, and at the start things were great but ever since our relationship has constantly been up and down. A lot of the time he never wants to see me, uses pathetic excuses, for example tonight he promised me he'd see me, and then he decided to go fishing instead. I love him, but sometimes I really wonder if he loves me. He's taken me on holiday and bought me nice things in the time we've been together, but he just doesn't seem that interested sometimes. He NEVER tells me I'm beautiful or says I look nice, even though I always make an effort to look good for him. He's never really had a serious relationship before me even though he's four years older than me (I'm 18 and he's 22), and sometimes he gets so moody for no reason I never know what's wrong with him. I don't know what to do because at the minute I'm only seeing him at the weekend even though he lives 15 mins away from me. Like last week, I only saw him on friday night, he fobbed me off for fishing on saturday and went out with his mate on sunday. And all this week I haven't seen him. Surely after a year and a bit he should be seeing more of me than this? I don't know what to do, I've changed my uni plans around him because I didn't want to leave him and now I just feel like it's a waste as he never acts like he cares about me. What do I do? I've tried talking to him, he doesn't listen.
    this sounds like how my boyfriend was with me even after 2 years. i was going to change my university plans around him as well and commute. everybody told me not to change my plans around him because if a relationship is going to work, it will. are you going to commute or have you just applied to somewhere closer by??? i definitely would not recommend commuting for him! people tell me commuting sucks because you dont get the full university life so i reallly hope that you are living in at uni?

    it sounds like hes not treating you right and making you happy, have you thought about ending it? you never know, he could completely change over night like my boyfriend did. i ended it with him, with no intentions of getting back with him cos i felt so rubbish all the time as he treated me how your bf treats you, and he realllly surprised me. he was gutted i had ended it and cried and said he cant believe its over and doesnt want it to be. then after a few weeks i ended up getting back with him and he is like a different person now, compliments me (after 2 years of NEVER telling me im beautiful), says he loves me a lot when he used to get annoyed if id say it too much. i guess guys treat you like crap until they realise, you arent going to get walked over anymore and that they could actually lose you.

    maybe you should talk to him about it, say if he doesn't change then its over? have you actually said that you are not happy and that you wont continue if it doesnt change? youve said you have talked to him, but i used to say that to my friends about my bf and i never talked to him properly really because i was too scared of losing him. so maybe you need to speak to him properly, even if it is really really scary. sorry for the essay btw
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    Answer this question: Do you want to be happy?

    Then read the title of your thread...
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    (Original post by Raindrop87)
    I'm nearly 22 and am not that mature in all honesty. I still get really excited about cows and sheep.

    LMAO that is hilarious I'm so repping you for that lil nuggest of hilarity :P
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    You guys are brilliant, seriously you've made me feel loads better even if a lot of you are telling me to end it!

    I'm going to speak to him asap about how I feel, I'm NOT going to break down like I always seem to do when I try to talk to him, but have a serious conversation with him to try and work this out. I do think though that if things don't change, I will have to end it, though I really don't want to. I'll report back after and let you guys know how it goes lol.

    (Original post by madeline06)
    this sounds like how my boyfriend was with me even after 2 years. i was going to change my university plans around him as well and commute. everybody told me not to change my plans around him because if a relationship is going to work, it will. are you going to commute or have you just applied to somewhere closer by??? i definitely would not recommend commuting for him! people tell me commuting sucks because you dont get the full university life so i reallly hope that you are living in at uni?

    it sounds like hes not treating you right and making you happy, have you thought about ending it? you never know, he could completely change over night like my boyfriend did. i ended it with him, with no intentions of getting back with him cos i felt so rubbish all the time as he treated me how your bf treats you, and he realllly surprised me. he was gutted i had ended it and cried and said he cant believe its over and doesnt want it to be. then after a few weeks i ended up getting back with him and he is like a different person now, compliments me (after 2 years of NEVER telling me im beautiful), says he loves me a lot when he used to get annoyed if id say it too much. i guess guys treat you like crap until they realise, you arent going to get walked over anymore and that they could actually lose you.

    maybe you should talk to him about it, say if he doesn't change then its over? have you actually said that you are not happy and that you wont continue if it doesnt change? youve said you have talked to him, but i used to say that to my friends about my bf and i never talked to him properly really because i was too scared of losing him. so maybe you need to speak to him properly, even if it is really really scary. sorry for the essay btw
    I am planning on commuting (eeeek) but I really wish I'd chosen halls now, or, to be quite honest a uni faaaar far away from here lol. I'd dreamed of going to uni in London for years and then when I met him - BAM - I changed my mind. I think the way we're seeing eachother now though (hardly at all lol) it'd probably work even if I moved all the way down there but it's probably too late to change my uni now, we'll have to see.

    Thanks again guys xx
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    (Original post by hannahlou27)
    You guys are brilliant, seriously you've made me feel loads better even if a lot of you are telling me to end it!

    I'm going to speak to him asap about how I feel, I'm NOT going to break down like I always seem to do when I try to talk to him, but have a serious conversation with him to try and work this out. I do think though that if things don't change, I will have to end it, though I really don't want to. I'll report back after and let you guys know how it goes lol.



    I am planning on commuting (eeeek) but I really wish I'd chosen halls now, or, to be quite honest a uni faaaar far away from here lol. I'd dreamed of going to uni in London for years and then when I met him - BAM - I changed my mind. I think the way we're seeing eachother now though (hardly at all lol) it'd probably work even if I moved all the way down there but it's probably too late to change my uni now, we'll have to see.

    Thanks again guys xx
    has anyone seen Brokeback Mountain??? They seemed to go fishing alot didnt they.....Hmmmmmm..!!
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    I feel like I'm in a similar situation, sometimes I feel like my boyfriend isn't interested or just doesn't make an effort like he used to. I think if you have good communication betwen you both you can resolve this and talk about it, if you don't feel like you can do that I would say wait it out a little bit and see if his behaviour changes if you have a bit of patience.
    Its horrible feeling like someone isn't making the effort but remember you can never change people to be how you want them to be.

    Shame you changed your uni plans to fit him, you should always put yourself first!
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    Ok, you're boyfriend is making you miserable. Why is it that so many girls openly admit that they are unhappy in their relationships but don't see this as a reason to dump their boyfriends? It's ridiculous. Why are you still with this guy?
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    (Original post by hannahlou27)
    Ok, so I've been with my boyfriend for just under a year and a half, and at the start things were great but ever since our relationship has constantly been up and down. A lot of the time he never wants to see me, uses pathetic excuses, for example tonight he promised me he'd see me, and then he decided to go fishing instead. I love him, but sometimes I really wonder if he loves me. He's taken me on holiday and bought me nice things in the time we've been together, but he just doesn't seem that interested sometimes. He NEVER tells me I'm beautiful or says I look nice, even though I always make an effort to look good for him. He's never really had a serious relationship before me even though he's four years older than me (I'm 18 and he's 22), and sometimes he gets so moody for no reason I never know what's wrong with him. I don't know what to do because at the minute I'm only seeing him at the weekend even though he lives 15 mins away from me. Like last week, I only saw him on friday night, he fobbed me off for fishing on saturday and went out with his mate on sunday. And all this week I haven't seen him. Surely after a year and a bit he should be seeing more of me than this? I don't know what to do, I've changed my uni plans around him because I didn't want to leave him and now I just feel like it's a waste as he never acts like he cares about me. What do I do? I've tried talking to him, he doesn't listen.
    If he's making you miserable, won't talk about it, then break up with him. It's a bad, bad idea to change your uni plans for a boyfriend. You should get yourself a clean break for uni and look forward to meeting new people who won't make you feel miserable.
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    I think you should make as many plans for yourself as possible... it doesn't mean you have to ditch him for those plans because as you've said, he usually doesn't see you anyway. Go out with friends, family, mum? In the day and some evenings. Doesn't have to be expensive outings so no 'I can't afford it' excuses! And you'll probably start to feel better and maybe you'll find you've been a bit down and this has put him off seeing you. (Sorry that sounded harsh, but my boyfriend desn't like me being grumpy :p: - fair enough I guess!)

    See how you feel after having a social life that doesn't revolve around him. You might decide you don't miss him that much and maybe you've grown apart. (This happened to me and my ex). You might find he realises that he does want to see you more...if he does great! You might find you miss him but he doesn't seem too bothered. In this case I would reconsider the relationship. I couldn't be with someone who doesn't show any interest or make any effort, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to put it right.
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    (Original post by hannahlou27)
    Ok, so I've been with my boyfriend for just under a year and a half, and at the start things were great but ever since our relationship has constantly been up and down. A lot of the time he never wants to see me, uses pathetic excuses, for example tonight he promised me he'd see me, and then he decided to go fishing instead. I love him, but sometimes I really wonder if he loves me. He's taken me on holiday and bought me nice things in the time we've been together, but he just doesn't seem that interested sometimes. He NEVER tells me I'm beautiful or says I look nice, even though I always make an effort to look good for him. He's never really had a serious relationship before me even though he's four years older than me (I'm 18 and he's 22), and sometimes he gets so moody for no reason I never know what's wrong with him. I don't know what to do because at the minute I'm only seeing him at the weekend even though he lives 15 mins away from me. Like last week, I only saw him on friday night, he fobbed me off for fishing on saturday and went out with his mate on sunday. And all this week I haven't seen him. Surely after a year and a bit he should be seeing more of me than this? I don't know what to do, I've changed my uni plans around him because I didn't want to leave him and now I just feel like it's a waste as he never acts like he cares about me. What do I do? I've tried talking to him, he doesn't listen.
    I only looked at the title....come and see me. ill pick you up:rolleyes:
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    This thread reminds me of Loose Women. *****fest.
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    bb, honestly no guy is worth making you feel that miserable. He can only make you feel this miserable if you let him. Talk to him, tell him what's wrong, and then give it some time, after that stuff him, he's not worth it.
    And if all else fails, go out get drunk, and/or get a hug off you mates.
    Keep your chin up anyhow xxx
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    OP, you need to do one of 2 things:

    1) Dump him! He's making you miserable and you deserve better than that.

    or

    2) Sit down with him and explain how much he's hurting you. If he genuinely changes (and maintains it) then you might have a chance, if he shows no interest in sorting out your problems, refer to suggestion 1.
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    (Original post by hannahlou27)
    You guys are brilliant, seriously you've made me feel loads better even if a lot of you are telling me to end it!

    I'm going to speak to him asap about how I feel, I'm NOT going to break down like I always seem to do when I try to talk to him, but have a serious conversation with him to try and work this out. I do think though that if things don't change, I will have to end it, though I really don't want to. I'll report back after and let you guys know how it goes lol.



    I am planning on commuting (eeeek) but I really wish I'd chosen halls now, or, to be quite honest a uni faaaar far away from here lol. I'd dreamed of going to uni in London for years and then when I met him - BAM - I changed my mind. I think the way we're seeing eachother now though (hardly at all lol) it'd probably work even if I moved all the way down there but it's probably too late to change my uni now, we'll have to see.

    Thanks again guys xx
    haha wow you sound like me! i wanted to apply for camberwell (university of the arts london) but i didnt apply that far cos at the time i didnt wanna leave him! and it was too late to apply there when i decied i wasnt going to hold myself back, but i am living away from home and i am so glad that i chose that rather than commuting.

    can you apply for accommodation late? some uni's havent reached the deadline yet
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    (Original post by DaneCook)
    This thread reminds me of Loose Women. *****fest.
    Oof don't get me started on Loose Women. If I wanted to listen to a bunch of middle aged women ranting about everything and ogling over younger men I'd go and sit with my mum and her friends when they have coffee.
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    (Original post by Raindrop87)
    Oof don't get me started on Loose Women. If I wanted to listen to a bunch of middle aged women ranting about everything and ogling over younger men I'd go and sit with my mum and her friends when they have coffee.
    I'd sit with your mum and have coffee. Sounds like an interesting conversation. :awesome:
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    ignore him for a little bit.
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    (Original post by DaneCook)
    I'd sit with your mum and have coffee. Sounds like an interesting conversation. :awesome:
    Haha feel free damn they have it on friday morning ya just missed it
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    Okay, I spoke to him last night. We'd been out and so had both been drinking, but neither of us were drunk (he'd had a lot more to drink than me though). It resulted in him telling me to stop going on, and then when I said ''Sometimes I wonder why I bother with you'' he got his stuff together and walked out, telling me he was going home. I had to run out in my pjs and try to stop him because he'd had tonnes to drink and was planning on driving home when he lives 15 mins away from me, I was so scared I couldn't stop shaking, my sister's bf came out and sat in the car talking to him for about half an hour, trying to get him to calm down. He came back in but didn't say anything and he's just gone home this morning acting as though nothing happened. I'm so upset and I don't know what to do anymore. If this is how he acts when I try to talk things through what am I meant to do?!
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    Anyone?
 
 
 
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