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    He doesn't sound very kind to begin with, but some guys just have those tendencies.. I'd say it's a first relationship thing also. He probably needs to be dumped so he can work on curbing his behaviour or something.
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    (Original post by voudreau)
    You're welcome http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif Yeh, I do know my stuff, I am an experthttp://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/smartass.gif lol. I have seen it before so I know its hard for you but I also know the sooner you do something about it the better. Just make sure you have alot of support from your friends because if he cuts you off from them it will be a million times harder.
    Aww

    It makes me happy to think there are actually decent people out there, as silly as that sounds.

    thank you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aww

    It makes me happy to think there are actually decent people out there, as silly as that sounds.

    thank you.
    No problemo. It doesn't sound silly at all. Feel free to pm me if you need anymore advice (although I have sort of been addicted to TSR for the past week and im hoping to be on here a lot lesshttp://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...lies/ninja.gif)
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by voudreau)
    No problemo. It doesn't sound silly at all. Feel free to pm me if you need anymore advice (although I have sort of been addicted to TSR for the past week and im hoping to be on here a lot lesshttp://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...lies/ninja.gif)
    Thanks I may take you up on that sometime. It's good to get a guy's perspective on things. I feel much better believe it or not, it's good to talk, or type! :p:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks I may take you up on that sometime. It's good to get a guy's perspective on things. I feel much better believe it or not, it's good to talk, or type! http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif
    http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...milies/yep.gif
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    Dump him.

    From what you've said, he sounds like he's just making you feel low and insecure. It almost sounds as if he is on the verge of becoming abusive - get out while you've got the courage to see what he is doing is wrong. These aren't signs of a healthy relationship.
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    (Original post by Choccielatte)
    Dump him.

    From what you've said, he sounds like he's just making you feel low and insecure. It almost sounds as if he is on the verge of becoming abusive - get out while you've got the courage to see what he is doing is wrong. These aren't signs of a healthy relationship.
    Exactly. It isn't healthy. In fact I am starting to think all guys are moody, controlling, abusive and manipulative which is starting to convern me because I know they're not. It's just hard to tell what is and isn't normal behaviour anymore because I have grown so accustomed to it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Exactly. It isn't healthy. In fact I am starting to think all guys are moody, controlling, abusive and manipulative which is starting to convern me because I know they're not. It's just hard to tell what is and isn't normal behaviour anymore because I have grown so accustomed to it.
    They really aren't all that bad. He's manipulating you, which you are obviously disturbed by. It sounds like you really know what the best thing for you to do is.

    I really hope you realise that this guy isn't worth it, and you deserve a guy who'll treat you with respect, kindness etc.
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    (Original post by Choccielatte)
    They really aren't all that bad. He's manipulating you, which you are obviously disturbed by. It sounds like you really know what the best thing for you to do is.

    I really hope you realise that this guy isn't worth it, and you deserve a guy who'll treat you with respect, kindness etc.
    Yes but it took me a LONG time to realise what he was doing to me. It really is strange how once you are in a relationship you just can't see things clearly anymore. I would definitely not put up with this behaviour from any man in the future though, I've learnt my lesson. Thanks for your help hun.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes but it took me a LONG time to realise what he was doing to me. It really is strange how once you are in a relationship you just can't see things clearly anymore. I would definitely not put up with this behaviour from any man in the future though, I've learnt my lesson. Thanks for your help hun.
    I completely relate with that... An ex totally caused me to deviate from what was really important to me.

    Any time. I hope you sort things out okay
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    This may be worth a read for you to see how things 'match up'.

    http://crime.about.com/od/serial/a/psychopaths.htm

    Sounds to me like he's a likely fit.
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    walk away.
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    Sometimes people hurt the person they care about most. If he grew up in an unstable environment, have you ever considered he may be suffering from a personality disorder like Borderline or from depression? It can make people very negative and act in the way you described. I know someone similar.
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    Cheat on him.

    Break his world in 2.
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    There’s a danger that such angry behaviour is being mistaken for misdirected passion towards their girlfriend. But someone who was truly passionate about their girlfriend would surely not compare their girlfriend to other girls, unless it was favourably. A few people in truly loving relationships may get away with such ‘jokes’ but it neither sounds loving nor a joke.
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    Your boyfriend, is he perhaps...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD5oNvkhI-M
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    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nope, that was just the surface. I'm at my wits end with him. He makes me miserable, he makes me cry, he says the cruellest things you can imagine to me then breaks down and apologises subsquently, he will rub other girls in my face on a regular basis, he will berate my efforts to dress up and look good, he will criticise my body every day, he'll send me abusive texts, he'll accuse me for "ruining his life", he'll threaten to hurt me if I say something he dislikes. He sulks to get his own way and manipulates me all the time.
    He has grown up in a very unstable environment so I am pretty certain this is where he has acquired his foul tempred and insecure personality from.
    From what you just wrote there, I'm asking myself why are you still with him? You need to ask yourself the same. Maybe you feel stuck, and wonder how your life would be without him, and you don't want that. Because even though things can be pretty bad, you have or have had in the past really good times with your bf, and in some twisted way you think it will go back to that, or one day the abuse will stop and the guy you fell for in the start will return. I'm telling you now, things won't go back to normal, the cycle will not end. Don't let him get away with treating you like dirt. As soon as you break free of him and forget him, you will move on to better things and wonder why you didnt get out sooner.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thing is, he acknowledges when he has hurt me sometimes. So he must know he is in the wrong. He just goes ahead and does it anyway. Yet will cry buckets if I suggest I don't love him anymore. Well then why ******* treat me like dirt?
    When someone is abusive, they will hurt you and then apologise and the cycle will continue. By him apologising it makes him feel less guilty (if he feels any at all) and make you feel good..makes you think he cares about you. The truth is if he cared that much about you he wouldn't do it again. An apology may be ok, but as soon as he ***** up again that apology becomes invalid and totally pointless. I hope you choose the right thing.
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    Um, run for the freaking hills? Nice guy, shame about the emotional abuse.

    If that's the best he can manage for you then at least you know you're not right for each other. The very least.

    As for the people telling you to give him a chance; A chance to what? Get even worse? Because he probably will. Every bullet point you mentioned is a red flag. How can I say this without sounding blunt? Come on girl; wake up and smell the coffee.
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    break up with him if he's making you this unhappy. You're young, you need to have fun not mope round in a relationship that isn't working out.
    Hope it goes well for you in the end
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    From what you just wrote there, I'm asking myself why are you still with him? You need to ask yourself the same. Maybe you feel stuck, and wonder how your life would be without him, and you don't want that. Because even though things can be pretty bad, you have or have had in the past really good times with your bf, and in some twisted way you think it will go back to that, or one day the abuse will stop and the guy you fell for in the start will return. I'm telling you now, things won't go back to normal, the cycle will not end. Don't let him get away with treating you like dirt. As soon as you break free of him and forget him, you will move on to better things and wonder why you didnt get out sooner.

    When someone is abusive, they will hurt you and then apologise and the cycle will continue. By him apologising it makes him feel less guilty (if he feels any at all) and make you feel good..makes you think he cares about you. The truth is if he cared that much about you he wouldn't do it again. An apology may be ok, but as soon as he ***** up again that apology becomes invalid and totally pointless. I hope you choose the right thing.
    You are so right. I just don't understand why he says he loves me. Also I know if I left him and moved on and found myself another guy he would be truly distraught. So why then does he continue to treat me like **** knowing full well it will drive me away? I just don't understand his mentality. He can see that I am no longer into him and it is nothing like when we first met.
 
 
 
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