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    Anon/delete please.

    Just finished 1st year of uni...made lots of friends, and got close to probs about 20. I'm in 2 groups, one is housemates who I'm not that close to but I get on well with, and another group who I really enjoy hanging out with but they take lots of drugs which I don't like doing. Even so I go out with them, have funny experiences and we're all going to hang out at each others' houses next year.

    Found out through facebook that the second group have been meeting up quite a bit throughout the summer, and it's made me feel a bit ****, like I haven't really made any real friends at uni.

    Also, being back home I've started hanging out with my old school friends (we keep in touch and went on holiday together, and have been friends for years) has made me see how my friends at uni are more like acquaintances than close friends.

    Just wondering...do you think everyone's the same here? Are your school friends who you've grown up with always closer than uni friends, who you've only known for a few months? Maybe I've got the wrong mentality but it feels like everyone else has made all these strong friendships with each other and I haven't, and it's made me rather lonely...I just hope I'm not the only one.
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    You're definitely not the only one
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon/delete please.

    Just finished 1st year of uni...made lots of friends, and got close to probs about 20. I'm in 2 groups, one is housemates who I'm not that close to but I get on well with, and another group who I really enjoy hanging out with but they take lots of drugs which I don't like doing. Even so I go out with them, have funny experiences and we're all going to hang out at each others' houses next year.

    Found out through facebook that the second group have been meeting up quite a bit throughout the summer, and it's made me feel a bit ****, like I haven't really made any real friends at uni.

    Also, being back home I've started hanging out with my old school friends (we keep in touch and went on holiday together, and have been friends for years) has made me see how my friends at uni are more like acquaintances than close friends.

    Just wondering...do you think everyone's the same here? Are your school friends who you've grown up with always closer than uni friends, who you've only known for a few months? Maybe I've got the wrong mentality but it feels like everyone else has made all these strong friendships with each other and I haven't, and it's made me rather lonely...I just hope I'm not the only one.
    I know that feeling. It just goes to show that a 'real friend' is a rare thing.
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    Aouch. Know the feeling too. Feels like **** don't it..?
    Maybe you should cut them off? I don't know how close you really are to them, but since you've got a lot of good real friends from before uni, I get it that you deserve better friends than the "second group" at uni, as you're referring to them.

    Maybe find someone else? Maybe hang more with group one? Maybe find out if you really are appreciated and acknowledged as you should be in group two, and if it's all really worth the hazzle, or if you should just dump them. I can't really say, you have to figure out these things, or explain in more detail how you feel about being friends with "group two".
    Do you really want to be in that group? If you see aside from the fact that they met up without you, have you any other things you don't like about them, or is it just that?
    If it's just that, I suggest you talk to them, try figure out what that was all about. Maybe you've got the wrong idea?
    Good luck! :jumphug:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon/delete please.

    Just finished 1st year of uni...made lots of friends, and got close to probs about 20. I'm in 2 groups, one is housemates who I'm not that close to but I get on well with, and another group who I really enjoy hanging out with but they take lots of drugs which I don't like doing. Even so I go out with them, have funny experiences and we're all going to hang out at each others' houses next year.

    Found out through facebook that the second group have been meeting up quite a bit throughout the summer, and it's made me feel a bit ****, like I haven't really made any real friends at uni.

    Also, being back home I've started hanging out with my old school friends (we keep in touch and went on holiday together, and have been friends for years) has made me see how my friends at uni are more like acquaintances than close friends.

    Just wondering...do you think everyone's the same here? Are your school friends who you've grown up with always closer than uni friends, who you've only known for a few months? Maybe I've got the wrong mentality but it feels like everyone else has made all these strong friendships with each other and I haven't, and it's made me rather lonely...I just hope I'm not the only one.
    I have had the same thing, except my current friend group from college have been meeting up, my old friend group from college have been meeting up (I did a third year at 6th form, meaning I have 2 groups of friends from college), my former friends from school all meeting up and all of these groups meeting with their new uni friends as well. That all feels great :yes: Seems like it's gonna be just me this summer ... :facepalm2:
    • #2
    #2

    I made what I thought to be a really good friendship with a few people at university, only to watch that friendship disipate over the summer because literally all of them wanted to go home for its entirity. They took a lot of drugs as well, and although I am a user I think you've got to be pretty dumb to take pills 2-3 times per week. Needless to say I fell out of the loop because I only took drugs with them once a month max. My friends from home on the other hand have always been there for me, and I feel the old notion that you make your friends for life at uni isn't true at all.
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    mm what uni's are you all in?
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    mmm yes things like summer holidays and other similar things really help you realize who are your real friends at Uni. tbh at first it might make you sad but just understand thats it a good thing that you can see the two faced side of people early on as soon as possible and act accordingly. i took a year out and it really helped me reevaluate alot of my 'friendships' but atleast i now know for sure (or rather, to an even bigger extent than before) who my real, (best) friends are on whom not to waste time in 2nd year.
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    I don't think you can generalise that the 'firnds for life' at uni thing is completely untrue - i'm sure some people make great friends there and others don't - i've just finished my first year aswell and i have made some really great close friends. Probably closer than my friends from home and we've kept in touch pretty well this hol, i reckon we'll be friends for life reallly.
    Second year will be really different from the first for you anyway, living with and meeting new people so don't despair that you've not made any amazing friends, theres plenty of time yet!
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    my uni friends will never match up to my school friends.
    although i love my uni friends, and share alot with them, it just isnt the same as the school ones. im closer to school friends in many more ways. its those childhood experiences you share.
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    I think friends at Uni are hard to make for this reason;

    You're thrown in at the deep end in a block full of people that you don't know, and a course full of people that you don't know. In order to get through the 3 years and not be a total loner you HAVE to make friends, regardless of whether you fully like them or not.

    I went to uni and in the 3rd year I found out what sort of people they really were and ended up having to move out of our flat and commute from home for half a year just to finish my degree.

    I NEVER would have chosen to be friends with them in an every day situation, but uni isn't an every day situation.. just accept you probably wont be friends forever but you'll make those friends when you leave uni
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    I do think the friendships you make are uni are different to friendships you make from home.

    Like mentioned above, you are kinda thrown together in uni and though you can make friends with whoever you please you are spending alot of time with certain people and are more than likely bound to make a friendship. Maybe you could talk to your uni friends? See what the deal is..maybe you just got the wrong end of the stick or something? If not, then second year will be different and theres plenty more chances to meet people.

    You cant really compare to others though because everyone is different. Ive made some amazing uni friends, whereas other people i know havent. Its just how things work out.
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    I am totally different, i didn't have many friends at school and haven't really kept in touch, but my friends from uni are the real ones.
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    I've made awesome Uni friends, but, I've also made some friends at Uni who wouldn't invite me to meetups. It's hard to make good friends, but, I guess most of it is making an effort. If you're very comfortable with your old friends, maybe you didn't feel the need to work so hard at your Uni ones? Given that I had no real friends at home, I made the effort in Uni to make some strong friendships.
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    Its okay it happens. It only depends on the amount of time you spend with other people and also whether do you actually 'click' with them or not. Dont be saddened (if that is a word) by what has happened, i know you might be feeling sad right now but just remember friendships strengthen over time.
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    People whohave made good friends at school are really lucky!

    I went into the mindset uni would be the solution to everything - a bit of a let down
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    I find that it's impossible to make a real friend. They all stab me in the back :sad: even my wife votes Tory now.

    My child's first words:

    "I hate you Dad, I'm voting Tory"
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    I know what you mean OP. I'm pretty sure that things will change/improve for you in 2nd year. You could always join societies as a way of finding friends with shared interests?
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    (Original post by Gordon_Brown)
    I find that it's impossible to make a real friend. They all stab me in the back :sad: even my wife votes Tory now.

    My child's first words:

    "I hate you Dad, I'm voting Tory"
    lmfao you piss take :P
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    lmfao you piss take :P
    What if - in all seriousness - I'm being genuine? :sad: How bad do you think my life is right now? Anyone else would consider suicide, but people talking to me on here is enough for me to keep going. I just need real human contact I'm so very lonely.
















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