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Ignoring him to get his attention - weird? watch

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    This could sound very strange but, do I have to ignore him to get affection

    I posted a thread a few months ago wondering if it was possible that I was too cuddly :o: My boyfriend stopped being as cuddly as he used to be so I felt like when I wanted a cuddle or kiss or whatever I had to really push for it (I promise I wasn't being over the top )

    Yesterday I gave up, I decided that if he didn't want a cuddle or a kiss, fair enough and maybe I really was just too cuddly :eek:

    But no, instead of not getting any love, he came creeping round me for cuddles and kisses, help my hand randomly, started stroking my hair - which he hasn't done in about a year. What is this?? Have I got to ignore him to get the love??

    Sorry if this sounds pathetic I just think it's weird. Is it possible that he just likes it this way? When we first met he spent a year chasing me while all I did was try to avoid him because I wasn't interested. Maybe that's what he wants? Sounds a bit strange in my head
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    Honestly, I've heard stranger things! If it works for you, and he doesn't start getting paranoid that you're going to leave him, just carry on as you are!
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    Ignoring someone to get attention is really immature. I wouldn't recommend it.

    If you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't have to manipulate them into hugging you, anyway :/
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    Haha I do this too. I often make more effort when the girl is pissed off/ignores me...I don't know why :mute:
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    i think it's very immature to even consider such a thing.
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    He probably missed it and thus made more of an effort to be touchy feely. I wouldn't recommend you use this as a 'tool' in your relationship though - talking about it is a much healthier form of communication.
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    (Original post by thatrollingstone)
    Haha I do this too. I often make more effort when the girl is pissed off/ignores me...I don't know why :mute:
    Seriously :eek: How bizarre... so if you're mrs doesn't come to you for cuddles, you end up going to her? 'Cause this seems to be whats happening.

    (Original post by Spanghew)
    Ignoring someone to get attention is really immature. I wouldn't recommend it.

    If you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't have to manipulate them into hugging you, anyway :/
    It's not that I did it purposely though. I just stopped creeping round him for cuddles all the time 'cause it seemed like he didn't want it. Then when I did what I thought he wanted, I got what I wanted... make sense? I agree it sounds immature! I just don't want a relationship where I don't get the odd hug or kiss throughout the day.
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    When people do this to me it just fraustrates me sorry to say, but it obviously has a different effect on your boyfriend.

    I personally think a better option is to tell him he is being a little too distant and getting a happy medium you are both happy with.
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    Don't do it. Not too much. That sort of stuff just makes him think you don't want his attention period.
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    I've done this with my boyfriend with things like texts and emails - we're in an LDR - and if he's being particularly crap at replying lately, I'll not send him anything for a few hours, and then lo and behold, my inbox is full!

    I wouldn't advise doing this all the time though - after a while it's just going to get silly. For a while he'll be more affectionate I reckon, he probably didn't realise how much he likes you being all cuddly and things
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    He probably missed it and thus made more of an effort to be touchy feely. I wouldn't recommend you use this as a 'tool' in your relationship though - talking about it is a much healthier form of communication.
    Hmm, yeh that sounds sensible. Would feel a bit of a child bringing that up in conversation though. He probably didn't even realise and might think I'm being an idiot.

    But yeh, I suppose it shouldn't be something I rely on
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    I hate it when girls do this. It just leaves the guy confused. eurgh.
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    thats what my girlfriend's doing atm, and i ******* hate it lol
    edit: i wonder if there's a way of reversing it so i have the power again
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    I think sometimes you definitely have to play hard to get... Seems like you usually are the one putting all the effort in, so why not let him make the effort for a change? It worked as well! Just don't do this all the time, else he'll get really fed up with it! But once in a while won't hurt...
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    (Original post by Spanghew)
    Ignoring someone to get attention is really immature. I wouldn't recommend it.

    If you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't have to manipulate them into hugging you, anyway :/
    It's not like she's emotionally blackmailing him. Show me a guy who wants a needy girlfriend. When it comes to (the majority) of guys, the more attention you give them, the less important you become, because they think you'll be there at their beck and call, no matter what. "The thrill is in the chase" as it were. It's really simple. Nobody likes to feel ignored. So they'll do what they can to get the attention back again.

    There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Millions of people do it.
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    OP - if you think that you're being too overwhelmingly "cuddly", then there's nothing wrong with restraining yourself a bit, and reminding yourself that maybe the bf doesn't appreciate it all the time.
    That's not the same thing as ignoring him at all. It's just adapting your own behaviour to be appropriate to the situation, which is fine.
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    Gf's doing this atm. We'll see who wins :awesome:
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    It's not like there's one written rule for everyone.
    It's not weird, but even if it was, it seems to be working for the two of you. And the most important thing is to do just that.
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    (Original post by oh_adele)
    It's not like she's emotionally blackmailing him. Show me a guy who wants a needy girlfriend. When it comes to (the majority) of guys, the more attention you give them, the less important you become, because they think you'll be there at their beck and call, no matter what. "The thrill is in the chase" as it were. It's really simple. Nobody likes to feel ignored. So they'll do what they can to get the attention back again.

    There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Millions of people do it.
    how can guys stop girls doing this though, its really annoying
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    (Original post by TK2 King Pin)
    thats what my girlfriend's doing atm, and i ******* hate it lol
    edit: i wonder if there's a way of reversing it so i have the power again
    Yeh but I was spending every day sitting next to him, not with him, walking beside him not hand in hand. Getting pecks on the cheeks rather than kisses that actually meant something. What's the point? So I figured he just wanted it that way :dontknow: So as soon as I do the same, not trying to hold his hand, not trying to get a kiss when we're sitting on his bed etc, he starts giving me kisses and doing all the nice things I've been missing. I just think it's weird and as other people have said it's probably not a good idea to do it ALL the time. So I won't, only when I get fed up.
 
 
 
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