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Ignoring him to get his attention - weird? Watch

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    That's lame, I once had a friend who fancied me that tried to do that. Since I didn't had any interest in having anything more than a friendship relationship I wasn't bothered about her ignoring me and she was probably quite mad with herself when she realized that it didn't work. She stopped talking to me months after, probably because she felt ashamed (her friends told her I knew what she was trying to do).
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Oh you big big meanie!

    Give the poor lass some affection. I was ready to tell my boyfriend I didn't know if our relationship was working 'cause he clearly didn't enjoy my attention as much! Glad I ignored him, least I know he is interested, only on his terms it seems lol
    I do, we're great in person. It just seems like sometimes she doesn't know what a phone is. But if he's ignoring you sometimes, it might be because he doesn't want to seem overly keen or come on too strong. Best talk to him about it though.
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    (Original post by DaneCook)
    I do, we're great in person. It just seems like sometimes she doesn't know what a phone is. But if he's ignoring you sometimes, it might be because he doesn't want to seem overly keen or come on too strong. Best talk to him about it though.
    Maybe, but I'd quite happily be smothered in hugs and kisses all day. (we stay in a lot at the mo due to lack of cash :p: ) And he used to be cudly so all I can think is that I'm too ott for him? Like I've said, I think we just need to find a happy medium!
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    (Original post by PauloG.)
    That's lame, I once had a friend who fancied me that tried to do that. Since I didn't had any interest in having anything more than a friendship relationship I wasn't bothered about her ignoring me and she was probably quite mad with herself when she realized that it didn't work. She stopped talking to me months after, probably because she felt ashamed (her friends told her I knew what she was trying to do).
    That's a completely different situation. I wouldn't ignore somebody who wasn't interested in me to try to get attention. Jeez how stupid is that? Difference is my boyfriend used to be really affectionate but it seems I was a bit too much :p: And he reacts better when I back off a little bit... I'd say that's fair?
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    (Original post by Cloud Shine)
    All men love the chase in my experience, but this takes it a little too far - this would irritate me.
    But I didn't do it on purpose! I just thought he didn't want to be all cuddly anymore so I stopped doing it. All of a sudden he does want cuddles :s

    Honestly, if you were him, what would you rather have? Your girlfried constantly trying to get some kind of affection out of you because you just won't give any out, or her sitting there waiting for you to give it in your own time? 'Cause that's how it was. And I'm certainly not gona be one of those girlfriends who may as well just be walking round with her brother, 'cause there's such little conection between them.
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    But I didn't do it on purpose! I just thought he didn't want to be all cuddly anymore so I stopped doing it. All of a sudden he does want cuddles :s

    Honestly, if you were him, what would you rather have? Your girlfried constantly trying to get some kind of affection out of you because you just won't give any out, or her sitting there waiting for you to give it in your own time? 'Cause that's how it was. And I'm certainly not gona be one of those girlfriends who may as well just be walking round with her brother, 'cause there's such little conection between them.
    I meant his behaviour would irritate me. An ex of mine used to tell me he thought I was too tactile. At the time I backed off, and he picked up the slack a little bit. Now I would just tell him to **** off. He's your long term boyfriend. He shouldn't be playing these games with you.
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    (Original post by Cloud Shine)
    I meant his behaviour would irritate me. An ex of mine used to tell me he thought I was too tactile. At the time I backed off, and he picked up the slack a little bit. Now I would just tell him to **** off. He's your long term boyfriend. He shouldn't be playing these games with you.
    Oh I see, do accept my apology :o: Meh, I guess he's just got to the point where a lot of cuddles is too much. And I'm finding it hard to change from when he used to be the most cuddly person I knew. I don't think he is playing games I think he's just trying to get what he wants without ordering me about.
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Oh I see, do accept my apology :o: Meh, I guess he's just got to the point where a lot of cuddles is too much. And I'm finding it hard to change from when he used to be the most cuddly person I knew. I don't think he is playing games I think he's just trying to get what he wants without ordering me about.
    But is he thinking about what you want? It's a little bit insensitive and hurtful - and it doesn't sound like you were a limpet. He ought to enjoy cuddles! :yes:
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    you should read the book "why men love *****es" look it up on amazon.
    its all about this kinda stuff.
    men only seem to respond to lack of action.
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    (Original post by mitsabeeba)
    you should read the book "why men love *****es" look it up on amazon.
    its all about this kinda stuff.
    men only seem to respond to lack of action.
    I actually think my boyfriend could be one of these people. Especially considering how we got together. What kind of bloke chases one person for over a year? And it wasn't like I was playing hard to get, I just generally wasn't interested lol. I was after I let myself get to know him though :p:

    I'm gona look that book up just for the kick if nothing else...
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Yeh but I was spending every day sitting next to him, not with him, walking beside him not hand in hand. Getting pecks on the cheeks rather than kisses that actually meant something. What's the point? So I figured he just wanted it that way :dontknow: So as soon as I do the same, not trying to hold his hand, not trying to get a kiss when we're sitting on his bed etc, he starts giving me kisses and doing all the nice things I've been missing. I just think it's weird and as other people have said it's probably not a good idea to do it ALL the time. So I won't, only when I get fed up.
    I think people are exaggerating the situation. Clearly it's that he actually does like all that affectionate stuff, but he doesn't initiate it because he knows that you will. In short, he just seems lazy to me.

    So now that you aren't initiating, he does.

    Talk to him and let him know that you like it when he initiates, because it makes you feel less needy, and you'll reach a compromise.
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    (Original post by *Katie*)
    I think people are exaggerating the situation. Clearly it's that he actually does like all that affectionate stuff, but he doesn't initiate it because he knows that you will. In short, he just seems lazy to me.

    So now that you aren't initiating, he does.

    Talk to him and let him know that you like it when he initiates, because it makes you feel less needy, and you'll reach a compromise.
    Yeh I thought it was getting a bit exaggerated...

    You're right, he could just be lazy. Don't worry I'm not gona ignore him forever more but at least backing off on the odd occasion might make him think about affection. I'll make sure he knows that I like it when he hugs and kisses me Maybe I don't seem like I do.
 
 
 
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