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going to uni/think im asexual watch

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    please dont say 'it doesnt exist'
    ive never really fancied anyone, boy or girl.
    ive never had a relationship but feel like a loser cuz i dnt know anyone who hasnt. even the shyer people like me or those who arent very attractive have now had relationships. most have had several serious and seem to be all mature adults. im 19 btw.
    i think i could get a bf if i tried when i start uni, but i would feel like a fraud because i might like someone but i wouldnt have other feelings which make you know you like someone romantically and sexually.

    i was bit of a tomboy as a kid so worried id be a lesbian but i dont think i am. when i see butch lesbos dressing like men, i cannot imagine doing that or having sex with a girl

    im a virgin but i think you know yourself without having sex, just like you know if your gay or straight before youve had sex.

    i dont want to 'come out' and tell people because no one really understands ..i think i might try and get a bf in uni but bit worried about it and worried about having sex. i also really want a baby in a few years but dont want a child with no dad...

    when i was like 14 and saw people in relationships, i thought they were only doing it to be cool and act mature. but now i kinda realise that maybe it was more than that?
    plz give me advice. im embarrassed being a virgin and not ever having a bf ...especially when my new friends ask me. but also dont know if i could have a relationship.
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    I think you're putting a lot of emphasis on the importance of fitting nicely into a certain "category," when in reality it really isn't that simple. You're only going to make the situation worse by putting pressure on yourself to lose your virginity or to find a boyfriend and it's really not healthy to start thinking about being with somebody else before you're comfortable with who and what you are. Be a little less harsh about yourself and relax a bit - you're still really young and people develop in different ways and at different paces. If you ever do have feelings for someone they will come about naturally - don't force yourself to be someone you're not just for the sake of conforming.
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    Try sex and see if you like it (a few times, it will hurt the first couple).

    I've seen the most frigid people I've ever met become full-blown nympomaniacs after losing their virginity.
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    I'm not sure what you are asking? But yes asexuality is a very real thing. But just because many others have had sex and relationsips doesn't mean you 'have' to have that too. As you grow up you will learn to accept yourself and who you are. Stop stressing about the little things and just keep on living.
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    At least you're sure and have figured out that you are asexual. it's not a 'werid' thing and lots of other people identify themselves as asexual. Just go with the flow and don't let it become something bigger than you, it's only a small part of you. I hope you can be more comfortable with it so that you don't feel uncomfortable telling people about it. Decent people will try to understand and won't let it become an issue and accept who you are.
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    (Original post by Navras)
    Try sex and see if you like it (a few times, it will hurt the first couple).
    Don't do this OP. Have sex when you're ready to have sex.

    (Original post by ßlαcksωαn)
    I'm not sure what you are asking? But yes asexuality is a very real thing. But just because many others have had sex and relationsips doesn't mean you 'have' to have that too. As you grow up you will learn to accept yourself and who you are. Stop stressing about the little things and just keep on living.
    Good advice.
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    (Original post by Navras)
    Try sex and see if you like it (a few times, it will hurt the first couple).

    I've seen the most frigid people I've ever met become full-blown nympomaniacs after losing their virginity.
    asexual doesn't equal frigid.
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    there was a documentary about this on bbc a few months ago.
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    Dont worry yourself about not having sex yet, your only 19 years old. You've got loads time to find the right person. And don't have sex until your ready and with someone you want to do it with, not because you feel pressure from anyone or society. Alot of people have and do regret it.
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    It might just be that you haven't found anyone who you are attracted to yet, you might not be asexual, though it is a possibility. One day you might be surprised and find someone who you do find sexually attractive, some people are more picky than others.
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    (Original post by ßlαcksωαn)
    asexual doesn't equal frigid.
    How do you know? She hasn't had sex so doesn't know whether she'd like it. People need to try things.

    OP I think you should find a guy you trust and tell him you want to have sex with him a few times, maybe more if you like it. No harm there. Just make sure he wears a johnny and isn't a man-whore.
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    You might find this article helpful:

    http://www.thesite.org/community/rea...thofasexuality
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    (Original post by Navras)
    How do you know? She hasn't had sex so doesn't know whether she'd like it. People need to try things.

    OP I think you should find a guy you trust and tell him you want to have sex with him a few times, maybe more if you like it. No harm there. Just make sure he wears a johnny and isn't a man-whore.
    This is so much easier said than done and totally the wrong thing to do. Having sex with someone you don't like or don't find sexually attractive would feel dreadful, awkward and encourage even more confusion

    You don't have to conform, OP; you are who you are. No one would think you're weird for not having had a boyfriend or any sexual partner - just express that you've never wanted to or that you're not keen on it. What can they do?

    Did you perhaps experience any trauma when you were younger? Sexuality (so some think) is sometimes brought around by childhood experiences and is not your fault - don't try to change yourself to fit in with others, especially when it involves something like sex. Be happy with who you are : )
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    (Original post by eden-flower)
    This is so much easier said than done and totally the wrong thing to do. Having sex with someone you don't like or don't find sexually attractive would feel dreadful, awkward and encourage even more confusion

    You don't have to conform, OP; you are who you are. No one would think you're weird for not having had a boyfriend or any sexual partner - just express that you've never wanted to or that you're not keen on it. What can they do?

    Did you perhaps experience any trauma when you were younger? Sexuality (so some think) is sometimes brought around by childhood experiences and is not your fault - don't try to change yourself to fit in with others, especially when it involves something like sex. Be happy with who you are : )
    You're starving her from one of the greatest luxuries life has to offer. Shame on you.

    Sex is good. Do it. Enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it; don't do it.
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    (Original post by Navras)
    You're starving her from one of the greatest luxuries life has to offer. Shame on you.

    Sex is good. Do it. Enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it; don't do it.
    You're an idiot, you obviously know nothing about asexuality.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    plz give me advice. im embarrassed being a virgin and not ever having a bf ...especially when my new friends ask me. but also dont know if i could have a relationship.
    Please don't rush into calling yourself asexual. Maybe you just havent met the right guy? Just say you're a virgin if anyone asks, no need to be embarressed. If you say you're asexual nobody is going to want to have sex with you, do you REALLY want that?

    Wait for a guy that you want to have sex with. Then have sex with him. Simple.
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    I can do it put my back into it, you can do it put yo ass into it
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    i really dont wanna be asexual because sex is like the purpose of life. sex is everywhere. sex is what satisfies people, you cant get that pleasure from anything else. thats why i feel like im missing out.

    i know what feeling 'turned on' feels like because i have a really odd fetish which i cannot even do in real life so i never really get that feelings. its also what goes on in the brain. i really wish i had the same feelings about sex with a man. i cannot understand why puttin a penis in a vagina turns people on
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    Sex is hardly the purpose of life. I'd agree with some of the posters, don't be so quick to label yourself since it's possible that you just have an extremely low sex drive. It's just a label at the end of the day and doesn't mean much...

    Just go to university and have a good time meeting people, there's no need to concern yourself with it. You can get alot of happiness from other things.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please dont say 'it doesnt exist' Of course it exists, dear
    ive never really fancied anyone, boy or girl.
    ive never had a relationship but feel like a loser cuz i dnt know anyone who hasnt Don't worry, most teens in relationships are just posing for their friends. even the shyer people like me or those who arent very attractive have now had relationships. most have had several serious and seem to be all mature adults. im 19 btw.
    i think i could get a bf if i tried when i start uni, but i would feel like a fraud because i might like someone but i wouldnt have other feelings which make you know you like someone romantically and sexually.

    i was bit of a tomboy as a kid so worried id be a lesbian but i dont think i am. when i see butch lesbos dressing like men, i cannot imagine doing that or having sex with a girl Not all lesbians are butch, just because you don't like a certain stereotypical lesbian, doesn't mean you don't like women altogether

    im a virgin but i think you know yourself without having sex, just like you know if your gay or straight before youve had sex. That's true, do not listen to people who say you have to have sex with strangers to discover your orientation - of course sex with strangers/friends will suck.

    i dont want to 'come out' and tell people because no one really understands There are plenty or other queer/asexual young people out there, check this site out http://www.queeryouth.org.uk/community/ ..i think i might try and get a bf in uni but bit worried about it and worried about having sex. i also really want a baby in a few years but dont want a child with no dad... Just remember that a child with no dad is better than a child with a dad who doesn't get along with their mom.

    when i was like 14 and saw people in relationships, i thought they were only doing it to be cool and act mature. but now i kinda realise that maybe it was more than that?
    plz give me advice. im embarrassed being a virgin Don't be embarrassed, those who have sex before they're comfortable with it should be embarrassed. and not ever having a bf Make sure that if you ever have a boyfriend, he's a boyfriend, not a boyacquaintance...especially when my new friends ask me. but also dont know if i could have a relationship.
    Hope the comments above help
 
 
 
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