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I need my head banging against a wall watch

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    ugh I hate myself right now!

    Me and my ex, ended really disgustingly..really bad and angry terms, and have not spoken since january. I've been fine since, and have thought i've gotten over him, yes there have been bitterness and i have found it harder to trust and get into a relationship.

    now i got an email from him on wednesday asking him to call me to 'talk' so. Ok I did, it was hard doing it..and i debated whether to or not but I knew maybe closure or an apology was maybe what I needed to fully move on. I got an apology..but closure im not so sure on now. We spent 2-3 hours just chatting, reminiscing on old times, catching up, i understood why he did what he did, and had no hard feelings.

    He asked to stay in contact, and me being the 'strong' person I thought I was i already KNEW i wouldn't want to stay his friend or in contact, as it would never work and he hurt me too much for me to ever forget. However, Now i can't stop thinking about him..I can't stop thinking how much i miss him, how much of a laugh we had.

    I've changed so much, im working towards a career, want different things out of life and he's still bumming about living on friends sofas, travelling etc- yet i just cannot get him out of my head now

    Why's this? i keep reminding me WHY we broke up and WHAT he did, but...i miss him all the same now
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    You got over him once, you can do it again. If you still think you and him can be friends then you should give him a chance and if anything more comes out of it then, well, maybe it was meant to be. Give it a few more weeks and then see how you feel but you are right to keep reminding yourself why you finished with him in the first place.
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    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    Why's this? i keep reminding me WHY we broke up and WHAT he did, but...i miss him all the same now
    It's perfectly natural to seek answers, reason and closure, so taking that opportunity was not a surprise.

    It's quite common for people to reminisce about the "good old days" too. Looking back on things in my life, I remember them to be brilliant, but if I think about it, it was **** at the time.

    Naturally, you'll miss him. You'll always miss somebody who meant something to you. The thing is, you've been there, done that, got the T-Shirt et al. You know damn well there are reasons why it's over, and you must remember that.

    Moving forward is all you can do. Nobody ever got what they wanted by looking back.
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    [QUOTE=Subcutaneous]
    I've changed so much, im working towards a career, want different things out of life and he's still bumming about living on friends sofas, travelling etc- yet i just cannot get him out of my head now
    QUOTE]

    You've answered it for yourself. You dont really want or need him in your life. Work on what you actually want. As well as remembering the good times possibly think about all the bad times - for example your split up - and surely they should counteract the good things.
    He's an ex for a reason!
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    (Original post by mikeyd85)
    It's perfectly natural to seek answers, reason and closure, so taking that opportunity was not a surprise.

    It's quite common for people to reminisce about the "good old days" too. Looking back on things in my life, I remember them to be brilliant, but if I think about it, it was **** at the time.

    Naturally, you'll miss him. You'll always miss somebody who meant something to you. The thing is, you've been there, done that, got the T-Shirt et al. You know damn well there are reasons why it's over, and you must remember that.

    Moving forward is all you can do. Nobody ever got what they wanted by looking back.

    thanks so much, that definately put things into perspective

    We are not meant to be, I know that..he's not responsible, mature or stable enough. He really messed me up, i guess the fact im feeling 'good' towards him now has scared me into thinking im on the spiral to getting hurt again, when in actual fact i guess telling him 'no' ...when i used to be the one coming to him, was a positive thing
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    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    ugh I hate myself right now!

    Me and my ex, ended really disgustingly..really bad and angry terms, and have not spoken since january. I've been fine since, and have thought i've gotten over him, yes there have been bitterness and i have found it harder to trust and get into a relationship.

    now i got an email from him on wednesday asking him to call me to 'talk' so. Ok I did, it was hard doing it..and i debated whether to or not but I knew maybe closure or an apology was maybe what I needed to fully move on. I got an apology..but closure im not so sure on now. We spent 2-3 hours just chatting, reminiscing on old times, catching up, i understood why he did what he did, and had no hard feelings.

    He asked to stay in contact, and me being the 'strong' person I thought I was i already KNEW i wouldn't want to stay his friend or in contact, as it would never work and he hurt me too much for me to ever forget. However, Now i can't stop thinking about him..I can't stop thinking how much i miss him, how much of a laugh we had.

    I've changed so much, im working towards a career, want different things out of life and he's still bumming about living on friends sofas, travelling etc- yet i just cannot get him out of my head now

    Why's this? i keep reminding me WHY we broke up and WHAT he did, but...i miss him all the same now
    Stick a photo on a dart board and throw darts at it...
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    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    ugh I hate myself right now!

    Me and my ex, ended really disgustingly..really bad and angry terms, and have not spoken since january. I've been fine since, and have thought i've gotten over him, yes there have been bitterness and i have found it harder to trust and get into a relationship.

    now i got an email from him on wednesday asking him to call me to 'talk' so. Ok I did, it was hard doing it..and i debated whether to or not but I knew maybe closure or an apology was maybe what I needed to fully move on. I got an apology..but closure im not so sure on now. We spent 2-3 hours just chatting, reminiscing on old times, catching up, i understood why he did what he did, and had no hard feelings.

    He asked to stay in contact, and me being the 'strong' person I thought I was i already KNEW i wouldn't want to stay his friend or in contact, as it would never work and he hurt me too much for me to ever forget. However, Now i can't stop thinking about him..I can't stop thinking how much i miss him, how much of a laugh we had.

    I've changed so much, im working towards a career, want different things out of life and he's still bumming about living on friends sofas, travelling etc- yet i just cannot get him out of my head now

    Why's this? i keep reminding me WHY we broke up and WHAT he did, but...i miss him all the same now
    Hey OP,
    Just keep reminding yourself why it went wrong and why it wouldn't be a good idea to not be in contact with him. Maybe write a list and look at it every morning and it will eventually sink in.

    I think alot of the time we remember things to be better than they were and we create this massive amazing idea of someone in our heads when actually its not that way at all.

    Your feelings will pass. feel better soon.
 
 
 
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