Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

My mum acts like she hates me... Watch

    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Size 12 isn't fat
    Offline

    2
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've tried talking to her. I asked her why she hates me and she said she doesn't, she just doesn't like me. I try doing everything she wants me to do around the house, and she's still like this.

    Have you tried asking her why she doesn't "like" you? Is there anything you may have done in the past which might explain her behaviour towards you or any reason why she might resent or not like you?

    A mother not liking her child does stirke me as quite odd.

    If you're sure you've done nothing wrong and she still isn't changing then I would suggest just accepting things the way they are because unfortunately there's not much you can do to change her. :hugs:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sleekchic)
    Have you tried asking her why she doesn't "like" you? Is there anything you may have done in the past which might explain her behaviour towards you or any reason why she might resent or not like you?

    A mother not liking her child does stirke me as quite odd.

    If you're sure you've done nothing wrong and she still isn't changing then I would suggest just accepting things the way they are because unfortunately there's not much you can do to change her. :hugs:
    It is very odd, but it does still occur occasionally. I don't think 'accepting' being treated that way is ever the right choice though: one human being does not have any right to treat another human being in this way, regardless of who they are. And some people are just stuck in their ways, and nothing you can do will get them to see that the way they've behaved is so so wrong.
    Offline

    2
    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    It is very odd, but it does still occur occasionally. I don't think 'accepting' being treated that way is ever the right choice though: one human being does not have any right to treat another human being in this way, regardless of who they are. And some people are just stuck in their ways, and nothing you can do will get them to see that the way they've behaved is so so wrong.
    I haven't said that people have the right to treat others in this way however sometimes you just can't do anything about it and unfortunately for the OP this may well be the case here and I'm not quite sure anything can be done about it.

    By accept it I don't mean be passive and simly put up with it. By accept it I mean that the OP should realise that this is what her mum is like and that she may never ever change.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think she hates you, maybe she is just abit offensive and inconsiderate as a person in general. Some people say mean things without noticing...I don't think you should read too much into it.
    Also...she makes fat jokes and you are a 12 ? God.. no wonder so many girls are anorexic these days.
    Lol...it reminds me of a comment a friend of my grandmother once made for me. My grandmother is not that fond of me tbh, but I think that was abit over the top. I was 12 and quite chubby I must admit. So a friend of hers came to visit, she looks at me and says: Oh Vaitsa ( name of my grandmother ), she is not as fat as you told us.

    I don't dare to think what she had actually told them, especially since I was indeed fat. She must have said I was a monster....
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If your mum has been like this all the the time and you have tried to talk to her about then you've done all you can. Luckily your moving on with your life and dont need to have much/ any contact with her. No one needs a person that is supposed to love them unconditionally treat them in that way.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I know how you feel. My mum hates me too. We literally can't be in the same room for more than 30 mins without having an argument most the time so I try to avoid her as much as I can which isn't easy because I live with her. I constantly hear her *****ing about me on the phone in the next room, thinking I can't hear her. This has resulted in me having lectures from my nan every time I visit about whatever my mums been telling her, eg. a while ago she banned me from seeing this guy and I heard her talking about me on the phone saying that I was sly and was probably still seeing him behind her back (which I was tbf lol but she had been so unreasonable) and then the next time I saw my nan she was really off with me and randomly gave me a lecture about how she believes that no one should have sex until they're married (I hadn't even slept with him!). It's so annoying because she is slowly turning other family members against me and they never get to hear my side of the story. I'm sorry but I have no advice other than talking to her because I'm stuck in a similar situation too. Just be glad you've moved out.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    She's probably jealous.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 4G_dollars)
    that is such a sad story. Can you feel the tears? She won't be able to give you a gift for your 21st...bad times. Half the world is starving, you don't know your mother's financial implications, and your upset over a gift...
    A gift doenst have to be big or expensive. My family was nearly dirt-poor but my mum managed to give me gifts.
    And just because half of the wolrd is starving, doesnt mean we refuse nice things that come our way- do you refuse presents from you friends/relatives because of that?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    My Mumzie loves me:thumbsup:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Xristina)
    I don't think she hates you, maybe she is just abit offensive and inconsiderate as a person in general. Some people say mean things without noticing...I don't think you should read too much into it.
    Also...she makes fat jokes and you are a 12 ? God.. no wonder so many girls are anorexic these days.
    Lol...it reminds me of a comment a friend of my grandmother once made for me. My grandmother is not that fond of me tbh, but I think that was abit over the top. I was 12 and quite chubby I must admit. So a friend of hers came to visit, she looks at me and says: Oh Vaitsa ( name of my grandmother ), she is not as fat as you told us.

    I don't dare to think what she had actually told them, especially since I was indeed fat. She must have said I was a monster....
    My gran and aunt always made comments about my weight- I am a bit chubby (size 14) but still it hurts. I know they still love me, but last time I visited them they expected me to act as a nanny, managed to tell me off for just about anything, have a row with me and then tell my mum about me being "childish" and unhelpfull. That despite me doing whatever I could do to help.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Old people suck.

    I can't stand most of them. None of my family ever really makes the effort to get to know the real me either. They just command me to do this, do that, always the snide jibes and unhelpful comments. Nothing I ever do is enough.

    Sorry Kater Murr for taking your thread.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Walkin'Butterfly)
    Old people suck.

    I can't stand most of them.
    I am starting to feel blessed that I have a caring family, but both my nans are really nice. So is my grandad.

    I think a lot of people who have been discussed here need to go to a Rehabilitation centre for parenting.

    Maybe you guys should call a hotline saying its urgent and get them into a home :p: Who knows, it might work.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joshphillips999)
    I am starting to feel blessed that I have a caring family, but both my nans are really nice. So is my grandad.

    I think a lot of people who have been discussed here need to go to a Rehabilitation centre for parenting.

    Maybe you guys should call a hotline saying its urgent and get them into a home :p: Who knows, it might work.
    Well, people on TSR are more likely to be the whiny 'everyone hates me' emo type though.

    But its true. Britain's families have issues.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cymraes..)
    I know how you feel. My mum hates me too. We literally can't be in the same room for more than 30 mins without having an argument most the time so I try to avoid her as much as I can which isn't easy because I live with her. I constantly hear her *****ing about me on the phone in the next room, thinking I can't hear her. This has resulted in me having lectures from my nan every time I visit about whatever my mums been telling her, eg. a while ago she banned me from seeing this guy and I heard her talking about me on the phone saying that I was sly and was probably still seeing him behind her back (which I was tbf lol but she had been so unreasonable) and then the next time I saw my nan she was really off with me and randomly gave me a lecture about how she believes that no one should have sex until they're married (I hadn't even slept with him!). It's so annoying because she is slowly turning other family members against me and they never get to hear my side of the story. I'm sorry but I have no advice other than talking to her because I'm stuck in a similar situation too. Just be glad you've moved out.
    I really feel for you, and all people in situations like yours. Having children is a wonderful thing, and it makes me sad that so many people abuse their position as parents. I can't imagine how such 'parents' justify their behaviour to themselves: I know that if I ever bring children in to this world, children that are here because of me, and who rely on me for guidance, support and love, I know that it would the most important thing in the world to me that they were happy and felt secure and loved, especially at home, where they belong!!

    Shame on all the parents who make their children suffer like this
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know she doesn't, because when I'm away at uni, she misses me, but it doesn't make her any nicer to me. It's just the little things...

    She makes fat jokes all the time (I'm a size 12).

    I went downstairs tonight and caught her saying to my brother and his gf (either about her meal out tonight with my ex-step-dad [who invited me] or him and his gf's ordering a pizza) "Don't tell her about it, because she won't pay". Which is ridiculous. We had Chinese last night, and no, I didn't pay, but i didn't order anything, and she didn't pay either. Had I been asked, would have. When I asked her why she said it, she told me not to earwig.

    I've never once caught her saying anything good about me behind my back. Whenever I come downstairs she says "Oh, here it comes..." perfectly within earshot.

    I really don't know what to do. I know it's only small things, but it's constantly, and I can't stand being here. The most hurtful thing is that she's only like this about me, not my brother, and he's not even a particularly nice person. She just makes me feel so disliked .

    Am I being ridiculous? I can't stop crying, I'm so sick of it.
    Hey, chill, take it easy. I think you might be over-reacting. I'm sure your mother meant what she said in a joking way. Try to focus on the good things, there's no point in putting a negative spin on small things like those. Your mom loves you for who you are and not paying for lunch is definitely not going to change anything. And btw, size 12 is fat?! That's ridiculous. Size 12 is just fine, if not great
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PrincessAriadne)
    I really feel for you, and all people in situations like yours. Having children is a wonderful thing, and it makes me sad that so many people abuse their position as parents. I can't imagine how such 'parents' justify their behaviour to themselves: I know that if I ever bring children in to this world, children that are here because of me, and who rely on me for guidance, support and love, I know that it would the most important thing in the world to me that they were happy and felt secure and loved, especially at home, where they belong!!

    Shame on all the parents who make their children suffer like this
    Things like this make me put off having children and marrying....soo much responsiblity...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ∑ Я ĩ k ė s ħ ξ)
    Things like this make me put off having children and marrying....soo much responsiblity...
    The whole settling down and starting a family thing isn't for everyone
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    OP your mother sounds just like mine! I've lost count of the amount of times i've seriously wanted to just up and leave this summer due to my mothers comments.

    My mum always makes snide comments about my weight and it's even got as petty as comments about not eating dinner with the rest of the family unless i pay for exactly what i've eaten :rolleyes:

    She has made me cry a LOT from calling me pathetic and telling me all my friends have turned out better than me and i still struggle from time to time but i'm slowly getting better at just taking whatever she has to throw at me and trying not to take it to heart. Easier said than done mind. At the end of the day, your mother has no REAL control over your life and there are only two outcoms really.. either she stops treating you this way and is a part of your life or she carries on and loses her daughter. I think she's taking you for granted because she doesn't realise you're so damn miserable that you're the one calling the shots.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Wow, she sounds lovely. At least you're lucky enough to be able to escape to university and not have to put up with that constantly. Some mothers just have strange ways of showing that they care, it seems. Mine's really similar. Maybe they just don't realise how much they're upsetting us by doing it, and just think we're able to deal with it. I honestly don't think it's anything more than that... especially because, as you say, she misses you when you're away. She does care, but perhaps you just clash. Talking to her calmly about the fact that it genuinely upsets you could work, but otherwise you may just have to accept that's the way she is with you. It does strike me as unfair that she treats you one way and your brother another, but then you're both individuals as well.

    Try not to let it get to you too much - there's nothing you can really do apart from what I've said, and crying about it instead of talking about it will only make you feel much worse than you need to. I hope you feel better soon. :hugs:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 29, 2009
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What's your favourite Christmas sweets?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.