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    I just got a text from a very excited friend (who I've always thought of as a good friend) saying that she had just called my ex. My ex treated me very badly and it took me a while to recover from the relationship, in fact I'm not even sure if I have fully recovered from it yet. My friend knows he's not a very nice person (from what I have told her) and she knows that it has affected me badly but recently she's been talking about him more, saying she wants to meet him etc. His number was still on her phone after I had borrowed it to text him once when we were together. Why can't she see that her calling him and introducing herself would bother me? And why does she feel the need to call him? I'm scared that she'll arrange to meet up with him and I'm scared that he'll hurt her in the same way he hurt me. I'm also really annoyed with my mate right now and so confused about why she's doing this. She knows I don't want her to meet him or talk to him but she's done it anyway. I haven't told her how annoyed I am that she's called him yet because I want to know the full story first (I replied to the text asking what he said but she still hasn't answered) and have time to think. Am I over-reacting?
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    She's doing it because she obviously finds your ex exciting and attractive, unusual as it sounds "danger" is very attractive to many women. What you need to do is call her (don't text, it's too slow if you're in a panic) and tell her how you feel and what he did to you so that she knows what she's getting herself into and if she still doesn't heed your warning then it's her fault and there's nothing you can do because ultimately it's a free country and people can make their own decisions.
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    By no means are you overeacting as he may potentially be brought back into your life again, which you dont want.

    I think you need to say to your friend that you are not comfortable with her doing what she is doing, however that is all you can do, for the time being hope that she seems that it may hurt you and maybe think twice about talking to him.

    If not then i guess it is best to reach that hurdel when you need to, from one respect it is her fault to allow him into her like if she knows he isnt a nice guy, and it is also not her fault as you cant help sometimes who you like, just wait it out it may come to nothing.
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    Do you not want her to get hurt, or do you not want her to go out with your ex?
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    Your friend is a bit of yeah- not very nice friend.

    God how tacky getting his number when you had to text him before
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    you cant help sometimes who you like
    but she's never even met him! Surely she can't be that attracted to a guy she's never met? Especially when he isn't that physically attractive (hes not ugly but hes nothing special) and she knows that he's hurt her friend. Shouldn't she hate him for what he's done? She's seen what it's done to me and it hurts that she seems to completely disregard that and do this even though I'm still hurting after the way he treated me. Personally if I was attracted to someone a friend had recently broken up with, even if it was on good terms, I would try my best to ignore my feelings for him, at least until my friend had recovered, not go out of my way to get to know him.
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    Do you not want her to get hurt, or do you not want her to go out with your ex?
    both and besides, one would definitely lead to the other with this guy. She can be quite immature for her age and I don't want her to do something she'll regret when she's grown up a bit. I've known this girl for years and I don't want to fall out with her over a guy but I feel so disrespected right now.
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    What should I say to my friend? I want to talk to her about it without having an argument but sometimes I think an argument would be the only way to get the message across that what she's doing is hurting me. I'm so worried about her aswell because she has had a very protected lifestyle (thanks to her family being over-protective) so she doesn't have any experience with this kind of guy and doesn't seem to notice how much he could hurt her. She can be so immature for her age (she's 15) and this guy is nearly 20 and he's very manipulative so I don't think she'd be able to cope. She's never even kissed a guy before and the longest relationship she's had lasted for two or three days (and then she asked her mate to dump him for her! see what I mean by immature?) because she's so indecisive about what she wants from a guy. This guy would crush her as she isn't experienced enough to deal with his behaviour. I don't understand how she can have such a lack of self respect!
 
 
 
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