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    Loneliness is a power that we posses to give or take away
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a boy, if you're interested. I don't really get mood fluctuations, it's more fluctuations in the way I perceive the same sad mood. I'd like to think that everything will change and I can just be happy, but I've been like this for as long as I can remember; I used to shrug it off when I was 13 or 14 because I thought about how I'd be happy when I was 16 or 18, whereas now I realise it won't just go away overnight like that, and that as soon as I reach adulthood I'll suddenly be a different, happy person, and that somehow I'll have to overcome all this
    Whoah I can relate so much to you it's insane. I feel that loneliness isn't so much a sharp pain, more of an absense of happiness.
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    (This is a continuation of the above post, it won't let me edit)
    Because last year I was lonely during the summer, but throughout my GCSEs a few months ago I just kept motivating myself by telling myself that this Summer was going to be different; that I didn't need other people to make me happy, and that I could enjoy myself alone. And yet, now I'm actually here, I just don't want it anymore, I just want to have somebody to hug and to talk to, more than anything
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    I also feel like I should be living my life to the full while I'm young, and that other people have had teenage and young adult lives which I've just missed out on. I always expected something to suddenly change when I became eighteen, but I was so wrong. I do really think that life is passing me by. What I would do for just one person to be close to.
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    (Original post by RachaelS)
    Same, plus i never have money whereas ny friends always do
    I always have money but rarely have company. Damn. Life sucks.
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    Just watch 'Taxi Driver'. Then you'll realise that being lonely is actually really really cool.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (This is a continuation of the above post, it won't let me edit)
    Because last year I was lonely during the summer, but throughout my GCSEs a few months ago I just kept motivating myself by telling myself that this Summer was going to be different; that I didn't need other people to make me happy, and that I could enjoy myself alone. And yet, now I'm actually here, I just don't want it anymore, I just want to have somebody to hug and to talk to, more than anything
    (I feel the loneliness is oppressive to such an extent now that I would rather have exams).
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    I like paragraphs.
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    (Original post by malleablegrace)
    Wow OP :\ we're shockingly similar, actually. I wish I had any sort of advice but I don't, despite little things changing like being at Uni and having a boyfriend etc. I'm still exactly the person you described.
    But as I can empathise I'd be more than happy to chat if you ever feel like PMing or anything. I'm sorry I can't offer any words of wisdom, but I can guarantee things are not as bad as you think they are and that your perspective of yourself and how people see you is totally skewed. I'm sorry for being useless but am here if you need anything. Chin up, :hugs: for now xx
    Is the PM offer valid only for the OP? :p:
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    (Original post by belle_xx)
    (I feel the loneliness is oppressive to such an extent now that I would rather have exams).
    When I have exams, I just want to be able to do nothing, yet when I can do nothing I almost yearn for somebody to force me to do something. And yet, this has happened in a couple of cycles, resulting in my being happy at neither time
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    (Original post by Psycho0101)
    Is the PM offer valid only for the OP? :p:
    Nope :p:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete for obvious reasons please
    Anyways, I've just been feeling a bit lost recently, and I think that's pretty much entirely attributable to being alone. At school I'm popular enough, in that everyone likes me and respects me to quite an extent, and wherever I go people will always talk to me, but it never really goes beyond that; out of the hundred or more people who rhapsodise about me and almost quasi-worship me as some sort of genius, but then maybe only 10 of those are close friends, and even those, although they'd consider themselves close, aren't really; in the 6 weeks or so of the Holidays so far, I've probably only seen those 10 a combined 5 times excluding school events. I think everyone just presumes I hang around with everyone else and have a perfectly healthy social life with lots of people, but just not them. I've tried to make friends out of school, going to the gym, working in a charity shop, applying for jobs etc., but I'm just so desperate for some form of companionship that I think it'll always be difficult for me to meet new people, as I won't be able to just treat them as acquaintances at first and become closer over time - I just want the loneliness to end NOW, which creates a horrific vicious cycle of never being able to make friends.
    But I always try to keep up this auspice of normality, and, indeed, what I'd hate more than being alone is being with people but being pitied by them, so I'm never able to ask anybody to spend time with me, as I have some sort of twisted belief that if I ask them, then they'll just feel forced and do it out of pity, and I'd hate that far more than being alone. I've even considered self harm just so that someone would pay attention to me, but then that would just lead to people pitying me and feeling sorry for me, and of course I couldn't stand that.
    Yet, for all that, I don't really want friends; I just want someone who'll love me, and who'll hold me tight, as all I've ever wanted is to go to sleep knowing that someone out there was actually thinking about me, and really cared about me. But, without that, I just feel so morose all the time: for instance, I'm going on holiday next week,but I couldn't care less - I just keep asking myself "what's the best that could actually happen?"; well, I'm pretty much incapable of enjoying anything, for reasons I've never really been sure of, so the answer is of course that nothing good could happen, and indeed I've taken on the outlook almost that nothing good could ever come from anything, and that I'm just meandering along waiting for something good to happen, yet, of course, I can't really see how anything good could possibly happen.

    There's some more stuff I should probably include, but it's pretty long as is, and I can't imagine anyone would want to read this. I'm not even sure why I wrote this, and I've probably misrepresented myself horribly, but I suppose I'd just like to verbalise my feelings a bit and get it all out in the open.
    Thanks if you do bother to read any of them, although I'm not sure what sort of advice I can expect to receive
    snap.
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    (Original post by Skadoosh)
    I like paragraphs.
    I also appreciate paragraphs; however, before writing that, I found it rather difficult to plan out how exactly all of my feelings would spew out, thus their conspicuous absence. Although obviously I've got my priorities all wrong, and your appreciation of grammar should indeed be located above my fragile mental health
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    I was wondering if people could die form lonliness, or another word is on the same level of importance as food and drink or is it more like having a home, vital but you won't die if you don't have one......
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    TRY THIS:
    Just text a couple of your close friends and ask them if they are free to hang out because you're bored/nothing to do. And you can just play games and stuff or hang at the park or whatever.

    Don't worry about what people think of you.
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    Its not really clear how old you are and whether you're at college etc. But I imagine theres probably someone you could talk to from your school/college who would actually know you and maybe give you some advice and perhaps even motivation to change things. Certainly at uni there is some sort of support setup usually for students who are having difficulties even if they aren't related to the course and I imagine your school/college should have something like that too.

    But even if there isn't an obvious support network, just talking to or emailing an adult you trust will probably make you feel better in itself.

    It helps a lot having someone you kind of look up to and trust telling you that things are going to be ok and that this isn't forever. Of course everyone on this message board can say that but everyone's mostly pretty young so can't really give you a long term perspective from their own experience so its harder to believe. You're also less likely to think that our advice is really applicable to you because we have never met you , you're anonymous and we nothing much about you. If you have someone who does kind of know you offering advice, and wanting you to keep them updated and offering to meet up and stuff, its much more likely to encourage you to do something and it'll have a much more powerful effect.

    You probably don't want to take my advice, obviously it can feel embarrasing but I doesn't necessarily have to be and you'll probably find that the person you talk to will be very understanding and kind. Even though it feels embarrasing, I think it also takes some courage and asking for advice when you need it is a mature thing to do. I'd certainly think that if someone emailed me or met up with me etc asking for advice. In a way someone just caring and understanding is probably a lot of what you want, it will make you feel less alone.

    And you should just ask your friends to come over and watch a film or go to see a film or something. They won't pity you or anything, nobody would think that. But I don't actually think these activities will make you feel much less lonely and you should try talking to someone like I've suggested, a teacher or something. A lot of what you've described sounds like it could be symptoms of depression and anxiety and if you have a helpful GP it might be a good idea to go and talk to them about ways to feel better.
    I hope things improve for you.
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    (Original post by CertifiedAngel)
    TRY THIS:
    Just text a couple of your close friends and ask them if they are free to hang out because you're bored/nothing to do. And you can just play games and stuff or hang at the park or whatever.

    Don't worry about what people think of you.
    I've already explained why I can't ask people for things; I know I shouldn't care, but my anxiety about being pitied would far outweigh any possible benefits that could bring
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Its not really clear how old you are and whether you're at college etc. But I imagine theres probably someone you could talk to from your school/college who would actually know you and maybe give you some advice and perhaps even motivation to change things. Certainly at uni there is some sort of support setup usually for students who are having difficulties even if they aren't related to the course and I imagine your school/college should have something like that too.

    But even if there isn't an obvious support network, just talking to or emailing an adult you trust will probably make you feel better in itself.

    It helps a lot having someone you kind of look up to and trust telling you that things are going to be ok and that this isn't forever. Of course everyone on this message board can say that but everyone's mostly pretty young so can't really give you a long term perspective from their own experience so its harder to believe. You're also less likely to think that our advice is really applicable to you because we have never met you , you're anonymous and we nothing much about you. If you have someone who does kind of know you offering advice, and wanting you to keep them updated and offering to meet up and stuff, its much more likely to encourage you to do something and it'll have a much more powerful effect.

    You probably don't want to take my advice, obviously it can feel embarrasing but I doesn't necessarily have to be and you'll probably find that the person you talk to will be very understanding and kind. Even though it feels embarrasing, I think it also takes some courage and asking for advice when you need it is a mature thing to do. I'd certainly think that if someone emailed me or met up with me etc asking for advice. In a way someone just caring and understanding is probably a lot of what you want, it will make you feel less alone.

    And you should just ask your friends to come over and watch a film or go to see a film or something. They won't pity you or anything, nobody would think that. But I don't actually think these activities will make you feel much less lonely and you should try talking to someone like I've suggested, a teacher or something. A lot of what you've described sounds like it could be symptoms of depression and anxiety and if you have a helpful GP it might be a good idea to go and talk to them about ways to feel better.
    I hope things improve for you.
    Thanks for the reply, but basically the main problem is that nobody truly knows me; I have lots of friends and casual acquaintances at school, but all they know is this veneer that I try to project to make people like me. EVen my Head of Year, who I'd say I was pretty close to, only really knows me superficially, so I don't think he could really help any more than a stranger on a forum can; plus, I'd just feel that the relationship between us would be forever altered if I told him any of this, and that for the next two years he'd treat me differently and (sorry for bringing this up again) pity me.
    With the whole asking people to do stuff, as well as the fears about them being pitying me (which no amount of rational argument will ever be able to dispel), there's again the fact that none of them really deeply know me, so going out with them would just force me to put up some act of happiness, and I don't think that'd help at all. Add into that the fact that I generally get anxious in social situations, and that whenever I'm with people I just want to be alone again (yet, as soon as I am alone, the opposite is very soon true), then I really can't see that helping. All I really want is just to have someone who loves me and totally understands me, but at the same time I realise how unlikely that is
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've already explained why I can't ask people for things; I know I shouldn't care, but my anxiety about being pitied would far outweigh any possible benefits that could bring
    Well, if you don;'t do anything now then you might have to spend the summer alone. Most people have nothing to do in the summer anway so people won't pity you.

    If your friends invite you out anyway (to hang or whatever) then just go with them and theyll do it more often. The more time you spend with them the more theyll learn more about you and become tru close friends.
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    I think we're all secretly alone... Pm me if you want ...
 
 
 
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