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Girls & guys - would you date someone who'd had many casual sexual partners? Watch

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    So long as they'd been careful and didn't have an STP then the past is the past!
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    Wouldn't bother me at all, I've dated girls with less than favourable reputations before. If I wanted a serious relationship I would maybe take more care in making sure they want something more too, but other than that it makes no difference.
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    I wouldnt if they were COMPLETE strangers. But i am a fan of casual no-frills sex.
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    Very unlikely.
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    I went out with a girl who had slept with about 15 guys by the time she met me, at 18. Didn't bother me. Depends how secure / insecure you are.
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    Yes I would.
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    I have, and it didn't bother me at all.
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    definitely not
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    Casual sex is ultimately less fulfilling than sex in a relationship so I would probably reject a potential girlfriend who had numerous one-night stands. How people perceive and treat sexual intercourse says a lot about a person, and how they interact with others.
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    yes, I would date them. I'd want them to get tested though, and it make me feel a bit more anxious about how soon into the relationship we slept together.
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    (Original post by evantej)
    Casual sex is ultimately less fulfilling than sex in a relationship so I would probably reject a potential girlfriend who had numerous one-night stands. How people perceive and treat sexual intercourse says a lot about a person, and how they interact with others.
    you don't think people can approach different sexual relationships in different ways?

    I would have a one-night stand, but that doesn't affect how I'd think about sex within a committed relationship. I don't see why a person couldn't hold those two views.
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    (Original post by OhNO!)
    you don't think people can approach different sexual relationships in different ways?

    I would have a one-night stand, but that doesn't affect how I'd think about sex within a committed relationship. I don't see why a person couldn't hold those two views.
    Yes, of course they can; my initial comment even implied this. But casual sex is ultimately less fulfilling than sex in a long-term relationship for a number of reasons.

    I would even suggest that a person who holds both views will struggle to form a particularly satisfying long-term relationship. They will, however, convince themselves that their sexual history is a good thing but the underlying behaviour they have developed from casual sex will undermine their future relationships. To suggest that it would not affect how you "think about sex within a committed relationship" is highly unlikely in my opinion.
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    I would put them off.
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    (Original post by evantej)
    Yes, of course they can; my initial comment even implied this. But casual sex is ultimately less fulfilling than sex in a long-term relationship for a number of reasons.

    I would even suggest that a person who holds both views will struggle to form a particularly satisfying long-term relationship. They will, however, convince themselves that their sexual history is a good thing but the underlying behaviour they have developed from casual sex will undermine their future relationships. To suggest that it would not affect how you "think about sex within a committed relationship" is highly unlikely in my opinion.
    I've had a lot of partners, and I mean a lot. It definitely doesn't affect my relationships, especially the sex within my relationships.
    I haven't convinced myself that my past is a good thing, I wish a lot of it hadn't happened, but I still don't see a problem with one night stands. I still have a separate attitude to them. What underlying behaviour have I supposedly developed?
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    What? WHAT? Why would i be put off? The past is just that, the PAST. Who the hell am i to judge someone on their sexual history (providing they were safe and wern't spreading STI'S).

    I don't understand, if were together then the person isn't sleeping with anyone else, why make a big issue about the past? Most people go through a stage at some point in their lives where their inhibitions are lowered be it due to alcohol/drugs or some other factor so why give them a hard time about it? If you trust someone enough to go out with them and trust they wont be sleeping around then i can only see bringing up someones colorful sexual history will only cause problems.
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    (Original post by Hana_87)
    What? WHAT? Why would i be put off? The past is just that, the PAST. Who the hell am i to judge someone on their sexual history (providing they were safe and wern't spreading STI'S).

    I don't understand, if were together then the person isn't sleeping with anyone else, why make a big issue about the past? Most people go through a stage at some point in their lives where their inhibitions are lowered be it due to alcohol/drugs or some other factor so why give them a hard time about it? If you trust someone enough to go out with them and trust they wont be sleeping around then i can only see bringing up someones colorful sexual history will only cause problems.
    The reason some people would be put off is because it speaks loads about the individuals personality. You're allowed to make judgments about someone when it comes to dating them, because you want to date someone who is actually right for you and what you want. And some people don't approve of sleeping around, and so don't want to date people who do it.
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    Hmmm it'd be a big negative but if they're absolutely fantastic then maybe the positives would outweigh that negative.
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    I've had a lot of partners, and I mean a lot. It definitely doesn't affect my relationships, especially the sex within my relationships.
    I haven't convinced myself that my past is a good thing, I wish a lot of it hadn't happened, but I still don't see a problem with one night stands. I still have a separate attitude to them. What underlying behaviour have I supposedly developed?
    I agree your extensive sexual history might not effect the sex within a relationship, but it affects the relationship dynamics that sex has a direct relation to such as intimacy and trust. The fact you are a 20-year-old female who has had “a lot of [sexual partners]” indicates the underlying behaviour I implicated is present.

    If you enjoy sex itself then you should realise that you would receive a lot more sex in a relationship, which would make casual sex a lot less efficient. If you enjoy the psychological aspect of sex then you would realise that casual sex works both for and against you; if you enjoy sleeping with multiple partners, or seducing then you should realise that it is unsustainable and, because you are a woman, damaging. Your sexual value deteriorates every-time you sleep with a new partner, which destroys the psychological aspect of the sexual encounter; people do not sleep with you because they find you attractive, or to seduce you but because they know they will receive sexual gratification. This may sound paradoxical but it is fairly obvious; people do not have engage in casual sex to receive sexual gratification but to have sex with someone to achieve a particular goal. Someone may cheat on their partner with someone relatively ugly but it is not the intrinsic value (physical appearance) of the person that is important but the psychological gratification they receive. Again, this may sound complex, but in reality it is fairly obvious. For example, people have sex with physically repulsive or inadequate partners but they consider them beautiful, or it beneficial.

    In summary, I would suggest that because you a 20-year-old female who has had “a lot of [sexual partners]” your relation to casual sex is perpetuating bad habits. Your approach to sex undermines your ability to maintain satisfying long-term relationships, which perpetuates your inappropriate use of sex. I would guess that you have poor self-esteem, and you use sex to undermine your self-perception. You validate your attractiveness (even though you do not believe it yourself) by engaging in casual sex, but this makes you more unsuitable for relationships, and eventually you will question an increasingly ineffective method of self-gratification and validation (casual sex) as you find it harder to find a partner, or you begin to question why no partner ever wants anything more substantial.

    If you are homosexual, however, sexual dynamics are slightly different and not all the above will apply to you. I think you are probably heterosexual though.
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    (Original post by evantej)
    I agree your extensive sexual history might not effect the sex within a relationship, but it affects the relationship dynamics that sex has a direct relation to such as intimacy and trust. The fact you are a 20-year-old female who has had “a lot of [sexual partners]” indicates the underlying behaviour I implicated is present.

    If you enjoy sex itself then you should realise that you would receive a lot more sex in a relationship, which would make casual sex a lot less efficient. If you enjoy the psychological aspect of sex then you would realise that casual sex works both for and against you; if you enjoy sleeping with multiple partners, or seducing then you should realise that it is unsustainable and, because you are a woman, damaging. Your sexual value deteriorates every-time you sleep with a new partner, which destroys the psychological aspect of the sexual encounter; people do not sleep with you because they find you attractive, or to seduce you but because they know they will receive sexual gratification. This may sound paradoxical but it is fairly obvious; people do not have engage in casual sex to receive sexual gratification but to have sex with someone to achieve a particular goal. Someone may cheat on their partner with someone relatively ugly but it is not the intrinsic value (physical appearance) of the person that is important but the psychological gratification they receive. Again, this may sound complex, but in reality it is fairly obvious. For example, people have sex with physically repulsive or inadequate partners but they consider them beautiful, or it beneficial.

    In summary, I would suggest that because you a 20-year-old female who has had “a lot of [sexual partners]” your relation to casual sex is perpetuating bad habits. Your approach to sex undermines your ability to maintain satisfying long-term relationships, which perpetuates your inappropriate use of sex. I would guess that you have poor self-esteem, and you use sex to undermine your self-perception. You validate your attractiveness (even though you do not believe it yourself) by engaging in casual sex, but this makes you more unsuitable for relationships, and eventually you will question an increasingly ineffective method of self-gratification and validation (casual sex) as you find it harder to find a partner, or you begin to question why no partner ever wants anything more substantial.

    If you are homosexual, however, sexual dynamics are slightly different and not all the above will apply to you. I think you are probably heterosexual though.
    I wish I was cleverer I didn't understand any of that. I somehow got the impression that death.drop won't like it though
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    Well for starters it's not exactly opening conversation, "I've slept with 22 people" or what ever, and it's more than likely if the girl thinks the number is going to be too high she'll soften the blow. I'd be worried though, what if she has had lots of sexual partners, is she going to think about one of them? Is she going to ditch me in a couple of weeks for someone else? What is she expecting of me, because all of these others have come from different backgrounds ect and might be good/ bad in bed, bigger penis/ smaller penis ect.
 
 
 
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