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    The problem is.. i am now 22 years old and i am very very shy and not very out going.. i hardly have any friends because im too scared to make friends and to talk to strangers and i always avoid going to relatives and to parties.. i prefer to be alone in my room and i go out for my classes only..

    Anyway i really need some help overcoming this shyness problem.. I used to have quite a few friends in school but after school i feel everything has went down hill for me "socially" its been 1 year and i still dont have any friends or anything in my college.. Plus i also find it very uncomfortable to talk to people i dont know and also in public.. My hear beat just goes way up if my teacher asks me a question in the class and i start to sweat .. I know it sounds crazy but thats me

    Today our teacher said that he was going to ask a few questions.. I dont know why but he looked at me and said "dont worry i wont ask you ".. That was pretty embarassing.. Anyway i really need to overcome this problem sooner or later so can someone help me or give me any advice?

    I am VERY shy indeed, i changed my courses because i had to give presentations in one course so i simply changed to a similar course in which there were no requirements for presentations..

    I've read about this problem and its called Social Anxiety disorder and i think that i definitely have it :o:


    I need to know how to get rid of this problem.. Can i overcome this problem myself somehow or do i have to go to the doctor.. I dont really want to go to the doctor in the first place because its quite embarrassing to talk about it.. :o:
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    speak to a counsellor.
    i think these things a quite common and easily sorted.

    dont worry, i know its hard but just relax when your around people.
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    You just need to take it easy and stop caring about other people and what they may think. You can only start overcoming this problem if you take more confidence in yourself.

    I'm pretty sure I had social anxiety in the past but I've worked by myself to get over it. I may not be the best looking or intelligent person but there are many ugly fools that get on very well in this world. It's all a confidence thing really, just be comfortable with yourself and relax around people and the rest will follow.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The problem is.. i am now 22 years old and i am very very shy and not very out going.. i hardly have any friends because im too scared to make friends and to talk to strangers and i always avoid going to relatives and to parties.. i prefer to be alone in my room and i go out for my classes only..

    Anyway i really need some help overcoming this shyness problem.. I used to have quite a few friends in school but after school i feel everything has went down hill for me "socially" its been 1 year and i still dont have any friends or anything in my college.. Plus i also find it very uncomfortable to talk to people i dont know and also in public.. My hear beat just goes way up if my teacher asks me a question in the class and i start to sweat .. I know it sounds crazy but thats me You see, you think that this problem is rooted inside of you and is so fundemental that it cannot be changed. Get rid of this attitude.

    Today our teacher said that he was going to ask a few questions.. I dont know why but he looked at me and said "dont worry i wont ask you ".. That was pretty embarassing.. Anyway i really need to overcome this problem sooner or later so can someone help me or give me any advice?

    I am VERY shy indeed, i changed my courses because i had to give presentations in one course so i simply changed to a similar course in which there were no requirements for presentations..

    I've read about this problem and its called Social Anxiety disorder and i think that i definitely have it :o:


    I need to know how to get rid of this problem.. Can i overcome this problem myself somehow or do i have to go to the doctor.. I dont really want to go to the doctor in the first place because its quite embarrassing to talk about it.. :o:
    Social anxiety disorder is painfully common. You might ask yourself, why are you scared? You imagine that if you speak up or talk to people, you will be more likely to embarrass yourself and that scares you. But think about it, how many times has it actually happened? Your problem is that you live in an imaginary land where you throw up and blush and make a mess of yourself. The solution is to live in the present, look around: are people actually watching you? Does anybody really care that you're mumbling? Most likely not. You have to understand that people will only laugh at you if you act as if you expect them to laugh at you. If you can't fix this problem yourself by self-control and meditation, then it would be a good idea to get a specialist to help out. It's usually not a huge issue and most people get over it the more they interact with others and build self-confidence.
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    (Original post by Flying Cookie)
    Social anxiety disorder is painfully common. You might ask yourself, why are you scared? You imagine that if you speak up or talk to people, you will be more likely to embarrass yourself and that scares you. But think about it, how many times has it actually happened? Your problem is that you live in an imaginary land where you throw up and blush and make a mess of yourself. The solution is to live in the present, look around: are people actually watching you? Does anybody really care that you're mumbling? Most likely not. You have to understand that people will only laugh at you if you act as if you expect them to laugh at you. If you can't fix this problem yourself by self-control and meditation, then it would be a good idea to get a specialist to help out. It's usually not a huge issue and most people get over it the more they interact with others and build self-confidence.
    That's what she said and I agree
    • #1
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    Thanks for the suggestions guys.. Im working on it really hard but there is just one thing that i just cannot do and i dont want to either. I dont want to talk in class and i dont want people to be looking at me and focus their attention on me as that makes me very nervous indeed so no matter what happens, I dont think i can speak in class.. Maybe yeah if someone asks me something i can answer them but even that makes my heard pound really hard.

    Its really annoying because i dont really want to be this way.. I dont want to talk in class but i would like to have the option to talk in class.. You know what i mean? I mean i dont want my heard to go pounding and my hands to start shaking only because my teacher asked me a simple question..

    Plus i guess this problem has become apparent now that i dont have any friends with me in my college, Uptill A Levels i would hide behind my friends (I had a few), Now i dont really have anyone to go to classes with, to sit next to, And as a result i feel really nervous.

    When our teacher gives us a 5 minute break, I usually sit alone in class waiting for the break to be over as i dont have any friends so i cant really do anything.. and that also makes me nervous like im sitting alone.. What should i do? Where should i look? how should i pass these 5 minutes?.. In the end i just spend the break looking at my mobile phone and pretending im texting someone or something :redface:
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    I hate talking out in class too, but have learned the only way to get over it is just to do it. At first it will be really hard (my face goes red, my heart beats, sometimes my voice sounded weird) but the more you do it the easier it becomes.
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    The thing is, I dont want to talk in class.. Plus i dont really think that there is any question that pops up in my head or anything because as im very quiet i have really good listening skills and i understand basically every word of what the teacher is saying.. So firstly i wouldnt know what to say anyway.. But secondly i dont want to say anything either :P...

    However i would like it if i couldnt panic so much.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am VERY shy indeed, i changed my courses because i had to give presentations in one course so i simply changed to a similar course in which there were no requirements for presentations..

    I've read about this problem and its called Social Anxiety disorder and i think that i definitely have it :o:


    I need to know how to get rid of this problem.. Can i overcome this problem myself somehow or do i have to go to the doctor.. I dont really want to go to the doctor in the first place because its quite embarrassing to talk about it.. :o:
    Well it does seem like you do have SAD and that's coming from someone who's been there. Well it sounds like the anxiety is affecting your social life the fact you had to change course because of the SAD is unfortunate and you said you're panicking too. Well seeing a doctor will help so much and they're usually well informed on how to overcome anxiety so there's no need to feel embarrassed. Anxiety does hold people back so once you've taken the steps to overcome it you'll reap the rewards.
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    I'm in my first year of uni and also have SAD. The only possible solution for me is to join a few societies and just hope that there will be someone there that I can talk to. I had a few friends in school too and understand how difficult it is when it seems that everyone else has made friends except you.
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    I'd say the best thing to do would be to join societies in your university.
    (Original post by Whelanmk)
    I'm in my first year of uni and also have SAD. The only possible solution for me is to join a few societies and just hope that there will be someone there that I can talk to. I had a few friends in school too and understand how difficult it is when it seems that everyone else has made friends except you.
    I know how you feel, especially as I know who you are.
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    Who are you then?
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    (Original post by Whelanmk)
    Who are you then?
    I know that you're called Thomas Whelan.
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    No, keep guessing. You're close.
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    I use to have this before, well i still do but its not as bad anymore. Before i couldnt talk in class, id go really red, and it felt like i was going to burst into flames the moment i was asked a question and had to answer infront of the whole class. It got to the point where i just wouldnt talk, and if i was asked a question, i'd end up mumbling, and then getting really embarrased.

    When i started uni i knew that if i didnt get over it i would be alone again, and wouldnt make any friends, so i started doing things alone at first, like simple things, going shopping alone, just basically going out alone, that helped overcome the anxiety, as i use to think everyone would be staring and thinking 'what a freak!'.

    I sort of adopeted a new personality at uni, as i knew noone would know me there, so i can be someone totally diffrent, i wouldnt have to be the shy, quiet girl who never spoke a word.
    Now i can talk in class, i look forward to doing presentations, and althought i still feel like im going to burst into flames when i get anxious, i just breathe slowly and try and think about something which makes me happy and smile.

    If you take things slowly you'll be able to overcome it, take small baby steps. Talk to one person, build your confidence, and then you'll be able to talk to more people. As for speaking up in class, just dont think about what everyone else will think of you, whether youll look like a numpty or not, and if you do make a mistake just laugh it off, its eases the anxiety. Good Luck!
 
 
 
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