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restore my faith in relationships Watch

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    Please keep anoymous or delete.
    Me and my ex were not a couple for long but in all the time i have known him he has hurt me alot and especially now that its obvious he has moved on and doesn't really care about me as a person like he said he did.

    I'm over the fact we are broken up, and i don't want him back, but im finding it really hard to get over all the hurt he has caused me and i spend alot of time just feeling angry and upset over him.

    I have had relationships before which have ended quite badly and they have acted like such insensitive heartless *******s. I have been cheated on by 2 different guys, a different bf dumped me over the phone and was really horrible about it and wouldnt talk to me and then i saw pictures on fb like a week later of him and some other girl getting close in a club. I was on a break with one of my ex's and i saw him shortly after on a date with a friend of mine.
    Now when i do have a boyfriend im constantly worrying there is some other girl they are interested in and are not really into me.

    I don't want to get close to anyone again because i can't help but believe that im just gonna get hurt again and can't really trust anyone. I know not all men are the same, and there are decent guys out there but i can't get rid of the belief in my head that they won't care about me and have genuine motives.

    Any advice or anything to restore my faith in relationships and to get over my hurt and anger appreciated
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    i'm the same, it's like what's the point when guys just don't want to be faithful to one girl, i don't mean all guys but the majority do, cos the selfish ******** want to feel "wanted". Sorry this isn't very helpful. i'm trying to cling on to the idea, that there must be a guy who is like me and would like me somewhere. So i'm just gonna try and socialise as much as i can when i get back to uni. see what happens.
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    PS. being paranoid about things is actually the reason i have been dumped by my last 2 bfs but since being broken up with them, within a a few weeks of being broken up they havn't shown they missed me and have got with someone else, which has confirmed what i thought to be paranoia as intuiton... I'm confused as to whether i was paranoia and insecure because things didnt seem right.. or things were fine but me being the way i am made it too hard for them to want to be with anymore.
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    (Original post by twizzle)
    i'm the same, it's like what's the point when guys just don't want to be faithful to one girl, i don't mean all guys but the majority do, cos the selfish ******** want to feel "wanted". Sorry this isn't very helpful. i'm trying to cling on to the idea, that there must be a guy who is like me and would like me somewhere. So i'm just gonna try and socialise as much as i can when i get back to uni. see what happens.
    If u wanna talk about it i can PM you?
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    i was the same, a few of my boyfriends had cheated on me, once with my friend, others with random girls. the last one tried to convinced me i didnt deserve better.

    but i did, and i thought i would never trust a guy. but now i have someone i can trust, and has never once made me doubt him..
    trust me, there are some nice guys out there, you just need to be patient (i know, i would have been annoyed if you'd said that to me a year ago!)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If u wanna talk about it i can PM you?
    You can PM me sure, but my issues are in the past, so if it would help you go for it. I know dating is hard, it's like you have to be the ultimate people reader to find out if a guy just wants you for sex or for something more, i guess i just feel that guys don't put much effort into getting to know someone anymore, but gotta keep trying eh? don't lose faith, there's so many men in the world, surely there's someone out there for everyone?
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    you need a break from men. youve had bad luck.
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    There are bad people in the world.

    Don't take too much offence - please - but a lot of my friends who have been cheated on (guys AND girls) seem to go for the completely wrong type.

    Might you suffer from this?

    If so don't be surprised! Otherwise just hard luck. Plus we're young (not that I'm excusing anyone).
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    (Original post by Philosoraptor)
    There are bad people in the world.

    Don't take too much offence - please - but a lot of my friends who have been cheated on (guys AND girls) seem to go for the completely wrong type.

    Might you suffer from this?

    If so don't be surprised! Otherwise just hard luck. Plus we're young (not that I'm excusing anyone).
    but everyone who cheats is wrong for everyone they go out with.. they are wrong.. they are a cheater
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but everyone who cheats is wrong for everyone they go out with.. they are wrong.. they are a cheater
    I think you're missing my point - I mean the people that get cheated on often seem to go for bad guys/girls.

    Do you do this?
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    (Original post by Philosoraptor)
    I think you're missing my point - I mean the people that get cheated on often seem to go for bad guys/girls.

    Do you do this?
    they are bad if they cheat though, so clearly if they cheta then they are a bad guy/girl.

    They were all quite different. I would say 2 of them just always mess girls about but the other few wern't like that
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    We're not all *******s.

    Having been f'ed about by my ex myself, and quite severely, I can assure you, we don't all go around cheating/f'ing about the women we're with.
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    (Original post by Sovvy)
    We're not all *******s.

    Having been f'ed about by my ex myself, and quite severely, I can assure you, we don't all go around cheating/f'ing about the women we're with.
    sorry if i came across as 'all men are like this' i reall wasn't.
    If you have only had bad experiences with men, although you realise good men are out there, it becomes sort of impossible to believe that a guy is interested in me genuinly. I realise there are decent guys, just that the only guys that would ever appear to want me will just **** me about. Other's will get the decent ones
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    sorry if i came across as 'all men are like this' i reall wasn't.
    If you have only had bad experiences with men, although you realise good men are out there, it becomes sort of impossible to believe that a guy is interested in me genuinly. I realise there are decent guys, just that the only guys that would ever appear to want me will just **** me about. Other's will get the decent ones
    Oh, you don't, I was just reiterating the fact, aha.

    I know how you feel; I keep getting f'd about by women so its hard to believe if someone's actually nice/real or not these days. And if I like anyone whos half decent, they're either taken/not interested.

    Anyway, not to hijack the thread! Believe me, there are lads out there who are going to appreciate you for you and want you, and aren't going to mess you about. Just a matter of finding them
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    (Original post by Sovvy)
    Oh, you don't, I was just reiterating the fact, aha.

    I know how you feel; I keep getting f'd about by women so its hard to believe if someone's actually nice/real or not these days. And if I like anyone whos half decent, they're either taken/not interested.

    Anyway, not to hijack the thread! Believe me, there are lads out there who are going to appreciate you for you and want you, and aren't going to mess you about. Just a matter of finding them
    chances of finding someone like that and the feeling being mutual.. very low :-(
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    chances of finding someone like that and the feeling being mutual.. very low :-(
    If you think that, you won't. Gotta stay positive, as patronising as it sounds
    PM me if you fancy a chat about this properly; I know how bad it all feels and how it can get, trust me :\
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anoymous or delete.
    Me and my ex were not a couple for long but in all the time i have known him he has hurt me alot and especially now that its obvious he has moved on and doesn't really care about me as a person like he said he did.

    I'm over the fact we are broken up, and i don't want him back, but im finding it really hard to get over all the hurt he has caused me and i spend alot of time just feeling angry and upset over him.

    I have had relationships before which have ended quite badly and they have acted like such insensitive heartless *******s. I have been cheated on by 2 different guys, a different bf dumped me over the phone and was really horrible about it and wouldnt talk to me and then i saw pictures on fb like a week later of him and some other girl getting close in a club. I was on a break with one of my ex's and i saw him shortly after on a date with a friend of mine.
    Now when i do have a boyfriend im constantly worrying there is some other girl they are interested in and are not really into me.

    I don't want to get close to anyone again because i can't help but believe that im just gonna get hurt again and can't really trust anyone. I know not all men are the same, and there are decent guys out there but i can't get rid of the belief in my head that they won't care about me and have genuine motives.

    Any advice or anything to restore my faith in relationships and to get over my hurt and anger appreciated
    You're hanging out in the wrong crowd (or so it would seem). Find a group of close friends (WHO ARE GOOD PEOPLE) so you get to know the guys better.

    Relationships can be good and bad, it just so happens you've set yourself up to obtain the bad ones (and the bad partners).

    I have faith in relationships because I'm clear-minded . (Also, knowing how to differentiate lust with actual caring and personal attraction towards someone is a very good skill).
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    (Original post by Ken321)
    You're hanging out in the wrong crowd (or so it would seem). Find a group of close friends (WHO ARE GOOD PEOPLE) so you get to know the guys better.

    Relationships can be good and bad, it just so happens you've set yourself up to obtain the bad ones (and the bad partners).

    I have faith in relationships because I'm clear-minded . (Also, knowing how to differentiate lust with actual caring and personal attraction towards someone is a very good skill).
    I'm not hanging about in the wrong crowd.. and my friends are actually really nice people and i am close with them already.
    You make it sound like i deliberately go out with men who will hurt me when that isnt the case. I knew them and was friends with some of them for months before becoming a couple.
    Well its pretty hard for me to have a clear mind...
    are you deliberately trying to make me sound stupid?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not hanging about in the wrong crowd.. and my friends are actually really nice people and i am close with them already.
    You make it sound like i deliberately go out with men who will hurt me when that isnt the case. I knew them and was friends with some of them for months before becoming a couple.
    Well its pretty hard for me to have a clear mind...
    are you deliberately trying to make me sound stupid?
    No, I am not. But if the guys you go out with seem good at first then completely rip your heart apart, then there must be many many douchebags around you, and I am sincerely sorry for that.

    I'm just going to say this now: Quite a large number of guys out there deceive someone to get in bed with them or to just 'get with them'. It's going to be quite annoying to find someone who isn't deceptive.

    Do girls do this too? I don't know, but I'm a guy, so I know more about what guys talk about/think/do.

    Just keep your faith up, and if not, clear your mind for a while, rest well, have fun with friends. Ultimately your faith in relationships will heal with time!
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    Hey sweetie i'm 18 and i've had bad experiances so far , my ex of a year and 10 months split with me a month ago,and already he's moving onto a new girl, ouch
    i was in bits and some days i still am , but the old line everything happens for a reason is true.
    From these bad experiances you can learn more about yourself , for example what is ok and what isn't
    I personally believe for 2 halves to be a whole that half must be whole on it's own.
    Get to know yourself , finding yourself is one of life's greatest journeys.
    I know that this doesn't take away that you feel paranoid , i mean im the same , but would you still want to be with the men al over again if you met them now ?.
    You sound like a lovely girl and it's unfortunate that you have been cheated on . what cheaters tend to forget is , it shapes the victim for life , i hate cheaters xx
 
 
 
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