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My mum is suicidal, I can't take it anymore Watch

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    For a good while now my mum has been severely depressed. She says she wants to kill herself all the time. I can't physically take anymore but yet I can't just leave her. She refuses to see anyone and my dad doesn't care. I have other siblings who sit there listening to her rant on and on about how depressed she is but we all feel physically exhausted from her. She is negative about everything ang is edgy and unbearable. It's so hard balancing between being a good child and putting your own sanity first. She begs my younger sis to sit downstairs with her because she is so lonely and my sis feels she can't go anywhere with her friends unless I'm there to take over with looking after mum. Really don't know how to solve this. The reasons why she is depressed are too long to go into but one is that my dad does not love her, though she would never ever ger a divorce. How do people cope in this situation?
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    Seriously, go out and hunt down some friends for your mother. I'm sure she'll be better after playing a few rounds of halo or something with other old folk.
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    Get a pet - a dog would be ideal.
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    put on a bit of cliff richard to cheer up (summer holiday song)
    then actually go on a summer holiday
    always works

    actually holiday might be a good idea
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    (Original post by Aack)
    Get a pet - a dog would be ideal.
    I'm not sure whether you were being sarcastic or not but nevertheless that is a pretty good idea. She has always said she wants a pet but the only reason she never bought one because she can't bear to deal with the pain if it dies, so I'm not sure whether I should.
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    Speak to your doctor or an appropriatly qualified professional about depression and what you can do to help her.
    Otherwise its just a vicious circle which isnt good for anyone. Her depression is getting everyone else down, a depressive environment wont help her so it continues, and everyone else remains down about it and so on.

    If you can, it might be wise to try and get her to seek help for herself. If not, seek it out yourself.

    Getting a pet will go one way or the other. It will either give her something to focus on, love etc or it will become just another chore. Depressions a funny thing. If she for one reason or another takes the mindset that its one more thing to care for, feed, walk, clean up after it might just further depress her and in the end its only the dog loses out by not getting the care or attention it needs.

    Seek help for the source of the problem rather than trying to mask/remedy it before getting a pet, that would be my advice.
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    (Original post by xSkyFire)
    Seriously, go out and hunt down some friends for your mother. I'm sure she'll be better after playing a few rounds of halo or something with other old folk.
    Good suggestion, but she refuses to socialise. Plus we live in a pretty remote area where she can't meet like minded people. Of course she probably could if she tried but she is in a mindset where she hates everyone and just wants to be alone. Yet complains she is lonely. That is the issue.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure whether you were being sarcastic or not but nevertheless that is a pretty good idea. She has always said she wants a pet but the only reason she never bought one because she can't bear to deal with the pain if it dies, so I'm not sure whether I should.
    Dogs live for years. Just don't buy one that's on it's way out.
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    (Original post by cor898)
    put on a bit of cliff richard to cheer up (summer holiday song)
    then actually go on a summer holiday
    always works

    actually holiday might be a good idea
    Thanks, I was actually thinking of booking a holiday to suprise her. It's just tough because she will come up with a thousand loopholes and ruin everyone's mood, this is what I expect her to do. She just isn't spontaneous or easy going whatsoeevr. In fact I'm not sure whether she is depressed because of a real reason or just because she is and always be a negative moody person.
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    she's old enough to make her mind up
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    (Original post by timetokill)
    Speak to your doctor or an appropriatly qualified professional about depression and what you can do to help her.
    Otherwise its just a vicious circle which isnt good for anyone. Her depression is getting everyone else down, a depressive environment wont help her so it continues, and everyone else remains down about it and so on.

    If you can, it might be wise to try and get her to seek help for herself. If not, seek it out yourself.
    I would love to but she would enevr see anyone in a billion years. She is very uptight how people view her and tries not to tell people aside from family how she feels, which leads to us feeling drained and fed up of her. I will probably try and seek help because it's such a hard situation to be in.
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    (Original post by Aack)
    Dogs live for years. Just don't buy one that's on it's way out.
    True, I might get a hamster though, I think if that dies it may be less painful than a dog. Thanks.
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    1) See a doctor
    2) She needs to establish a social group. Is she interested in politics or something? I know if you join the Labour/Tory parties they have local groups where people go weekly and sit around ranting. If not then something else, any form of social club. Join the Open University so she can study for a degree? The challenge and achievement would do her good.
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    (Original post by timetokill)
    Speak to your doctor or an appropriatly qualified professional about depression and what you can do to help her.
    Otherwise its just a vicious circle which isnt good for anyone. Her depression is getting everyone else down, a depressive environment wont help her so it continues, and everyone else remains down about it and so on.

    If you can, it might be wise to try and get her to seek help for herself. If not, seek it out yourself.

    Getting a pet will go one way or the other. It will either give her something to focus on, love etc or it will become just another chore. Depressions a funny thing. If she for one reason or another takes the mindset that its one more thing to care for, feed, walk, clean up after it might just further depress her and in the end its only the dog loses out by not getting the care or attention it needs.

    Seek help for the source of the problem rather than trying to mask/remedy it before getting a pet, that would be my advice.
    Your right, but the root problem to me is unsolvable. My dad doesn't love her and he neevr will. Unless he changes she will always be depressed. It's just hard because he doesn't get it either and doesn't care enough. If anything he is fed up of her ranting and nagging and crying.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    True, I might get a hamster though, I think if that dies it may be less painful than a dog. Thanks.
    If you buy a hamster, you're as mental as your mother. Just fork out for a dog, cheapskate.
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    (Original post by Aack)
    If you buy a hamster, you're as mental as your mother. Just fork out for a dog, cheapskate.
    Another hamster hater! I just think it's less maintenance and like timetokill said I can imagine my mum making a chore out of looking after the dog and taking it for walks which wouldn't be fair on the poor thing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For a good while now my mum has been severely depressed. She says she wants to kill herself all the time. I can't physically take anymore but yet I can't just leave her. She refuses to see anyone and my dad doesn't care. I have other siblings who sit there listening to her rant on and on about how depressed she is but we all feel physically exhausted from her. She is negative about everything ang is edgy and unbearable. It's so hard balancing between being a good child and putting your own sanity first. She begs my younger sis to sit downstairs with her because she is so lonely and my sis feels she can't go anywhere with her friends unless I'm there to take over with looking after mum. Really don't know how to solve this. The reasons why she is depressed are too long to go into but one is that my dad does not love her, though she would never ever ger a divorce. How do people cope in this situation?
    I am so sorry to hear that. But people have made some suggestions!
    If you can I think you guys should go on a holiday go to Florida or something and make your mum see some dolphins, its has been proven that dolphins do help slightly with depression.
    After you come back (hopefully your mum might feel better) get a pet (something young puppy or kitten) and get your mother a doc and maybe marriage counselling for your parents so they can fix their relationship.
    Enrol your mum in a class so she isn't just sitting in the house doing nothing. Sometimes the simplest things can cure depression.
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    (Original post by Craig_D)
    1) See a doctor
    2) She needs to establish a social group. Is she interested in politics or something? I know if you join the Labour/Tory parties they have local groups where people go weekly and sit around ranting. If not then something else, any form of social club. Join the Open University so she can study for a degree? The challenge and achievement would do her good.
    Good idea, I'll look up social groups nearby to where we live, she doesn't even know who the Prime Minister is so I doubt politics but maybe I'll look up cooking or somehting.
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    (Original post by Aack)
    If you buy a hamster, you're as mental as your mother. Just fork out for a dog, cheapskate.
    Bit harsh, much?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Your right, but the root problem to me is unsolvable. My dad doesn't love her and he neevr will. Unless he changes she will always be depressed. It's just hard because he doesn't get it either and doesn't care enough. If anything he is fed up of her ranting and nagging and crying.
    Thats not necessarily true, depression can be resolved by a change of mindset, rather than a change of situation. Thats what anti-depressant drugs are for, they change the chemical imbalances often present in depression to make people feel happier. This in turn can encourage a more positive attitude etc etc.
 
 
 
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