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My mum is suicidal, I can't take it anymore watch

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    What about a cat? once they're trained to go toilet outside they're pretty easy to care for, and a little more loving back than a hamster.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Good idea, I'll look up social groups nearby to where we live, she doesn't even know who the Prime Minister is so I doubt politics but maybe I'll look up cooking or somehting.
    Nice idea. Something I just thought about, how about her getting her hair done, and completely new clothes and everything? It would really boost her self esteem.
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    (Original post by timetokill)
    Thats not necessarily true, depression can be resolved by a change of mindset, rather than a change of situation. Thats what anti-depressant drugs are for, they change the chemical imbalances often present in depression to make people feel happier. This in turn can encourage a more positive attitude etc etc.
    True you are right but how can I change her mindset? She is so negative. This is what I mean, some people going through what she is would be so strong about it but she isn't and it feels like I am the mum and my siblings not her. I sometimes feel like telling her to pull herself together and count her blessings but I think that would be harsh. I'm not sure about medication, she may get addicted and feel just as awful coming off them. Had you taken it in the past?
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    (Original post by Craig_D)
    Nice idea. Something I just thought about, how about her getting her hair done, and completely new clothes and everything? It would really boost her self esteem.
    Aw that's a great idea. I may ask her to go shopping tomorrow with me. It's so hard dealing with someone who is never happy but I will keep coming up with ideas to help. thanks for all your help.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    True you are right but how can I change her mindset? She is so negative. This is what I mean, some people going through what she is would be so strong about it but she isn't and it feels like I am the mum and my siblings not her. I sometimes feel like telling her to pull herself together and count her blessings but I think that would be harsh. I'm not sure about medication, she may get addicted and feel just as awful coming off them. Had you taken it in the past?
    Do NOT tell her to pull herself together, likewise don't bring up starving kids in Africa. If you've got depression little is worse than someone who clearly doesn't understand telling you them things. They make you feel even more crap about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    True you are right but how can I change her mindset? She is so negative. This is what I mean, some people going through what she is would be so strong about it but she isn't and it feels like I am the mum and my siblings not her. I sometimes feel like telling her to pull herself together and count her blessings but I think that would be harsh. I'm not sure about medication, she may get addicted and feel just as awful coming off them. Had you taken it in the past?
    Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
    If everyone is (for lack of a better way of phrasing it) pussy-footing around her she might not even realise the extent of what shse doing.
    Although if she really is depressed harsh words may not be the way to go. Which is why I suggested that you talk to a professional on her behalf (she doesnt have to know) but basically let them know whats going on, explain the situation everything about it, and they will be able to advise the best course of action. If they think medication is the best route, well I suppose they are professionals and its their call.

    Ive never taken them before no, Ive (fortunately) never needed them.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Do NOT tell her to pull herself together, likewise don't bring up starving kids in Africa. If you've got depression little is worse than someone who clearly doesn't understand telling you them things. They make you feel even more crap about it.
    I know, you're right, just sometimes it's so hard listening to her rant on and on and I'm known for being patient normally. She just never listens to the positive side and conversations always end on a negative note whatever we say. I just hope the little things you guys suggested will cheer her up a little.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Good suggestion, but she refuses to socialise. Plus we live in a pretty remote area where she can't meet like minded people. Of course she probably could if she tried but she is in a mindset where she hates everyone and just wants to be alone. Yet complains she is lonely. That is the issue.
    I think she needs to be forced into joining some sort of club or something, I mean I hated going to school but then I really enjoyed it, hated the thought of doing other things but then started enjoying it. I think there's this fear everyone has of trying something that they're not use to lol
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    (Original post by timetokill)
    Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
    If everyone is (for lack of a better way of phrasing it) pussy-footing around her she might not even realise the extent of what shse doing.
    Although if she really is depressed harsh words may not be the way to go. Which is why I suggested that you talk to a professional on her behalf (she doesnt have to know) but basically let them know whats going on, explain the situation everything about it, and they will be able to advise the best course of action. If they think medication is the best route, well I suppose they are professionals and its their call.

    Ive never taken them before no, Ive (fortunately) never needed them.
    That's exactly why I'm torn we are all pussy footing around her, to the point we're too scared to say the slightest thing incase she takes it personally and starts crying. If I do confront her she would start crying even more and accusing us of not loving her and being selfish which is completely untrue. It's so nice when I meet up with people who are relaxed and optimistic, I feel that being around my mum is making me negative, edgy and panicky too which is not what I'm like at all. thanks a lot for your advice, it's been really useful.
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    (Original post by pina.Love)
    I am so sorry to hear that. But people have made some suggestions!
    If you can I think you guys should go on a holiday go to Florida or something and make your mum see some dolphins, its has been proven that dolphins do help slightly with depression.
    After you come back (hopefully your mum might feel better) get a pet (something young puppy or kitten) and get your mother a doc and maybe marriage counselling for your parents so they can fix their relationship.
    Enrol your mum in a class so she isn't just sitting in the house doing nothing. Sometimes the simplest things can cure depression.
    aww that's such a sweet suggestion! definitely put a smile on my face! Marriage counselling would definitely be the way forward but I thnk both my parents would never do it. Though I will put it forward to them. Because if their relationship is solved things would be a lot better for everyone.
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    (Original post by xSkyFire)
    I think she needs to be forced into joining some sort of club or something, I mean I hated going to school but then I really enjoyed it, hated the thought of doing other things but then started enjoying it. I think there's this fear everyone has of trying something that they're not use to lol
    You are right, she always avoids life, people, societies, everything but maybe it's time to change all htat...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    aww that's such a sweet suggestion! definitely put a smile on my face! Marriage counselling would definitely be the way forward but I thnk both my parents would never do it. Though I will put it forward to them. Because if their relationship is solved things would be a lot better for everyone.
    You can always ask, it wouldn't hurt to, they may surprise you.
    Tell me how it goes with your mum.
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    (Original post by pina.Love)
    You can always ask, it wouldn't hurt to, they may surprise you.
    Tell me how it goes with your mum.
    I will
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure whether you were being sarcastic or not but nevertheless that is a pretty good idea. She has always said she wants a pet but the only reason she never bought one because she can't bear to deal with the pain if it dies, so I'm not sure whether I should.
    A dog can be alot of work, particularly if your life is difficult anyway. If you want to get a pet, then Id work up from a gerbil or other small rodent, (theyre very nice!) to a dog or larger pet. A cat is also surprisingly low maintenence if you get a short hair, but Ill leave that to you.
    But on the matter at hand, Id speak to your doctor about it if you can get an appointment without your mum knowing, or call NHS direct from a friends house or something. As for your mum, ask her if shed like to do more. See if you can get her interested in a sport or martial art. Ive been told that Tai Chi is good fo stress relief. Painting / drawing can also be good!

    Anyway, hope this helps, hang in there buddy!

    Oh and try not to spend all your time looking after your mum or your life may go down the same path and you could end up feeling suicidal too, which is never good.
    Good luck!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aw that's a great idea. I may ask her to go shopping tomorrow with me. It's so hard dealing with someone who is never happy but I will keep coming up with ideas to help. thanks for all your help.
    You're very welcome I wish you the best of luck, I can't imagine how difficult this situation must be for you, and you're such a nice person too. I'm sure things will get better :sadnod:
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    A hamster? You can't be serious.

    Get a proper pet, like a dog or even a cat.

    Everyone likes cats!
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    (Original post by cor898)
    put on a bit of cliff richard to cheer up (summer holiday song)
    Really? I think that would cause even those with the most perfect mental health to reach for a cut-throat razor.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aw that's a great idea. I may ask her to go shopping tomorrow with me. It's so hard dealing with someone who is never happy but I will keep coming up with ideas to help. thanks for all your help.
    Well im no expert but this seems like a good idea. I think doing something like this as a short term thing may get her into a good mood and allow you to suggest other things for the future.

    Disclaimer: I a lil tipsy at this moment in time so I may be talking rubbish...
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    I tihnk you're being too gentle.

    Buying her pets and holidays won't do anything in the long-run.
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    (Original post by foxo)
    Really? I think that would cause even those with the most perfect mental health to reach for a cut-throat razor.
    Well i suppose it is the theme tune that we will most associate with the end of the world but it always reminds me of expressionless puppets swaying to the rhythm of the song with daggers in hand

    But thats Cliff for you:rolleyes:
 
 
 
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