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    Hi, Im 22 and i am extremely shy i cant talk with people properly, i cant talk in public, i cant answer to my teacher easily when he asks a question and when in put in some of those situations, My heart beat goes way up, I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and i can feel my hands trembling Basically you can say im panicking really badly when im put into any social situation, Even the tiniest of social situations get me nervous like talking on the phone to a stranger..

    As a result im depressed, I dont have alot of friends.. Infact i hardly have ANY friends.. all the friends that i do have are from school but after school i chose a different degree then most of my school friends so i dont have any of my old friends with me in my classes and im pretty much alone. I get nervous when i go to classes alone and i also stutter sometimes when someone asks me a question or something. Its really really embarrassing and really annoying.

    I've searched about it, and it seems to me that i fit the "Social Anxiety Disorder" and i think i have this Social anxiety disorder.. Hell i even changed my degree only because the degree i was doing earlier required me to give presentations infront of 60 people, Something which i just could not do.. So i simply chose the easy way out and changed my degree to a similar one which didnt require presentations.. :o:

    So please, i need help with this. I have my whole career infront of me, i dont want that to get effected only because i couldnt talk to people properly. Also it would be great if you guys could recommend me some books on how to get over Social Anxiety Disorder that i could order from Amazon.com .. Thanks in advance

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    See your doctor. Books from Amazon may well help, but at the end of the day, the fact you've changed your degree and stuff might indicate that you could do with some talking therapy or possibly even medication.
    Not that I'm diagnosing you, but I really do think it would be beneficial to see your doctor. If you're worried, write a letter and hand it to him, you could even print off your post on here and hand it to him Best wishes
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, Im 22 and i am extremely shy i cant talk with people properly, i cant talk in public, i cant answer to my teacher easily when he asks a question and when in put in some of those situations, My heart beat goes way up, I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and i can feel my hands trembling Basically you can say im panicking really badly when im put into any social situation, Even the tiniest of social situations get me nervous like talking on the phone to a stranger..

    As a result im depressed, I dont have alot of friends.. Infact i hardly have ANY friends.. all the friends that i do have are from school but after school i chose a different degree then most of my school friends so i dont have any of my old friends with me in my classes and im pretty much alone. I get nervous when i go to classes alone and i also stutter sometimes when someone asks me a question or something. Its really really embarrassing and really annoying.

    I've searched about it, and it seems to me that i fit the "Social Anxiety Disorder" and i think i have this Social anxiety disorder.. Hell i even changed my degree only because the degree i was doing earlier required me to give presentations infront of 60 people, Something which i just could not do.. So i simply chose the easy way out and changed my degree to a similar one which didnt require presentations.. :o:

    So please, i need help with this. I have my whole career infront of me, i dont want that to get effected only because i couldnt talk to people properly. Also it would be great if you guys could recommend me some books on how to get over Social Anxiety Disorder that i could order from Amazon.com .. Thanks in advance

    Do Not even think of taking pills as a way to make it go away, it would'nt just start by taking small steps such as joining an arts and performance lesson escpically now its holiday time which will evently build up your confident when dealing with different situations around you until you full adopt you being able to change and transform your personality depending on where you are ie if at work act at work, if uni act up uni time hope it makes sense.
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    Go to classes, therapists etc.



    In the meantime, the best thing you can do is get out of your comfort zone, even if it is small things like saying hello to someone in the street or smiling at a girl.
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    Hello, I just registered to reply to your topic.

    I am a shy person myself, along with several negative traits that I have. Some time back, I was beginning to doubt myself till a point where I was at the lowest, feeling no pleasure in anything I do and have this painful dreadful feeling all day long. So like you, I began searching and found several terms and their web definitions, I fit in terms like loner, major depression disorder etc, but identifying them doesn't really help. So I went on to search for some self-help books and I luckily came across one that literally saved my life and changed me a lot: Happiness by Richard Matthieu.

    This book has countless invaluable information and I really have the urge to share with you every knowledge I gained. However, if i were to do that, I would have copied word for word, the entire book. If you ever happen to find it, I suggest you read it.

    The problem with me, and perhaps you, is because of the ego. I am too afraid of how people may judge me, afraid that I will reveal any negative traits and thus afraid to show myself. The ego self is at stake. Hence, I am shy. And the mind generates all these thoughts.

    Firstly, I want to touch on the power of our mind. It is very powerful and generates all of our emotions, thoughts etc, and it is easy for the mind to come across one of the 84,000 negative emotions, we can't stop them from coming. Our mind superimposes these attributes upon what we perceive. For example, we assign intrinsic qualities to things and people, thinking "this is beautiful, that is ugly", "that is desirable and this is undesirable." But is there anything on earth universally recognized as beautiful? A beautiful woman is a desired object for a lover, a distraction for a hermit, and a good meal for the wolf. Like shyness, our mind generates some thoughts that acts as a barrier and makes us afraid of something, because the ego, the pride is at stake.

    We are all unique people. But we are all the same when we are just born as a baby. What makes up our personality today is what we experienced throughout, our thoughts, and our reactions towards them. Ego, the self is merely an idea that causes most mental affliction, for example, desire, hatred, pride, selfishness, jealousy. Most conflicts happen, for e.g. fights, wars, because the individual's ego is hurt.

    In addition, ego is very fragile. It is built on insubstantial attributes - power, success, beauty and physical strength, intellectual brillance etc. Once things change, for instance, a person becomes no longer good looking, the ego becomes irritated and falters. All that is left is suffering.

    However, genuine self-confidence does not rely on the self. It is the natural quality of egolessness. It cannot be threatened by external circumstances or inner fears. It is in fact, focusing on the love and compassion for other people. For e.g. Mother Teresa. People with such confidence do not have a second thought to whether their position or importance is recognized.

    In short, I think you should not focus too much about yourself. You will find yourself more open when you keep thinking of others. However, you may feel that "why should I changed?", you are used to that and people think of you as that way for years. But our name, when we break it up, for example mine, is just Q-I-N-G X-I-O-N-G. yet we attached all sorts of concepts to it, like reputation, social status etc.

    Lastly, I must say that those above are not from me, it is entirely from the book- Happiness. It really changes my thinking a lot. Although I find myself fallen victim to many of the emotions still at certain times, I must say I have better control over them, and I feel the peace and freedom to be able to really relate to people, to share their joys.

    Wcan't change what has already happened, but we can change our own thinking. I believe everyone should get their hands on one, for more knowledge and wisdom.
 
 
 
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