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How to tell a close friend you fancy her? Watch

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    Basically a couple of months ago we got quite touchy feely when on a night out with mates in town in Manchester, nothing major like but holding hands/her stroking my leg etc (initiated by her). it was a bit weird but thought ok she's a bit drunk. Then stayed at her house a few weeks ago as I was in town looking for a job and again we got quite close and I shared her bed every night even though she has a spare room. Nothing happened but every night we'd just sort of cuddle in front of the tele and in bed. We didn't pull or anything, most that happened was one morning I basically had my hand under her top. As I left her place I just thought we'd got quite close as friends and that we'd leave it at that but a week later she pulled someone in a club and for some godly reason that made me jealous and it dawned on me that I actually have feelings for her as more than just friends. Feel like seeing her more often than I do and I basically text her every [other] day. 80% of texts in my sent items is to her and it never used to be that much. Since then we've been out for drinks a couple of times but it's just been like normal as friends and nothing more.

    Don't know what to do though. Turned me into a right soft get this. I deffo fancy her now and if it were any other girl i'd go for it and ask her out but at the moment it just looks like she wants to be friends, a bit more intimate if we're alone but that's it. I'm a bit worried that if I push it too much and she doesn't want it then we'll just drift apart as friends and obviously that's the worst case scenario. Part of me says i'll regret it if I dont do it but other half says I should just ride it out and avoid the risk of ruining everything. Thoughts? (apart from telling me to get a spine and a pair of testicles lol). Thanks
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    Aw, this is quite sweet... Simply tell her how you feel.
    If it was me, i would like to hear it from you.
    It does sound like she feels something for you as well, i doubt she would do all that stuff with other people.
    Go for it. Take a risk.
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    holding hands, stroking your leg, cuddling, hand under her top

    you're getting me turned on here

    if i were you, i'd take things slowly, getting more and more intimate when you're alone without forcing the issue.
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    maybe she feels the same it explains why she is diff when your alone she is prob scared of you rejecting her like u are of her rejecting you. She might of pulled because she seen some girl looking at you and felt jealous or maybe she thinks shes wrong to feel the way she does about you and is trying to forget it. I also think you should just talk to her let her know how you feel. if she dont feel the same might be awakard between you two at first but soon things be back to normal personally i think go for it if you really like her then its worth the risk
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    Euck. Subscribes for ideas
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    Be very careful. I've in the past been similiar with a friend, developed feelings etc etc but there was nothing from her side, just a close friend and she didn't think any more of it. Some girls are just like it, especially if you're very close (as friends) and she feels she can trust you etc.

    If she's a good friend then your friendship should survive you telling her, you'd probably lose any intimacy that exists at the moment, though. (Which is probably a good thing if you like her )
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)

    if i were you, i'd take things slowly, getting more and more intimate when you're alone without forcing the issue.
    (Original post by Miss.Naughty)
    Aw, this is quite sweet... Simply tell her how you feel.
    If it was me, i would like to hear it from you.
    It does sound like she feels something for you as well, i doubt she would do all that stuff with other people.
    Go for it. Take a risk.
    Well that clears that up then

    Nah, cheers. My mind is leaning towards the first response really. That's how it's been for a couple of months now and it's been ok although at the moment probably only see her once a week/10 days so I dont wanna let things drift so much that it just goes completely. Maybe it's worth a punt and if it doesnt work out then since I dont see her all that often it'll be ok even though we'll lose that current closeness. Obviously she feels something but it's just trying to work out how much really. I'm trying to work out how many girls get that close (I say THAT close, not that in the grand scheme of things its much) with their single guy-mates anyway if they dont want anything more? Thing is we're good friends, been part of the same circle of friends for about 4 years now and we've got closer this year but we're not THAT close in that we share personal stories etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well that clears that up then

    Nah, cheers. My mind is leaning towards the first response really. That's how it's been for a couple of months now and it's been ok although at the moment probably only see her once a week/10 days so I dont wanna let things drift so much that it just goes completely. Maybe it's worth a punt and if it doesnt work out then since I dont see her all that often it'll be ok even though we'll lose that current closeness. Obviously she feels something but it's just trying to work out how much really. I'm trying to work out how many girls get that close (I say THAT close, not that in the grand scheme of things its much) with their single guy-mates anyway if they dont want anything more? Thing is we're good friends, been part of the same circle of friends for about 4 years now and we've got closer this year but we're not THAT close in that we share personal stories etc.
    Yeah. That's fair enough Just take things where you want to, and at your pace.
    And if you do feel she's worth the 'punt', go for it.

    Good luck!
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    Please please just tell her. I was in exactly the same position as you and it was the best decision I made. There is nothing to lose other than a month or two of awkwardness. What do you have to gain? A girlfriend who you clearly love.

    Please please just tell her your feelings - then post next week about how happy you are about going out with her :-)
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    Get a pen and paper and sketch exactly what you want to do to her. I'm telling you she will be flattered!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well that clears that up then

    Nah, cheers. My mind is leaning towards the first response really. That's how it's been for a couple of months now and it's been ok although at the moment probably only see her once a week/10 days so I dont wanna let things drift so much that it just goes completely. Maybe it's worth a punt and if it doesnt work out then since I dont see her all that often it'll be ok even though we'll lose that current closeness. Obviously she feels something but it's just trying to work out how much really. I'm trying to work out how many girls get that close (I say THAT close, not that in the grand scheme of things its much) with their single guy-mates anyway if they dont want anything more? Thing is we're good friends, been part of the same circle of friends for about 4 years now and we've got closer this year but we're not THAT close in that we share personal stories etc.
    Well, I don't claim to be a relationship expert or anything... I just look at a situation and apply a bit of common sense :rolleyes:
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    Just tell her how you feel, and hopefully she'll tell you the same in return. If not, then seems like you are close enough friends to not let something like this get in the way of your friendship. A good friend will understand :yep:
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    (Original post by Miss.Naughty)
    Yeah. That's fair enough Just take things where you want to, and at your pace.
    And if you do feel she's worth the 'punt', go for it.

    Good luck!
    Oh the thing is I deffo wanna go for it and know I like her as more than just friends but because she's a friend I'm worried about rejection and how that could lead to us drifting apart. Oh well. Silly **** this.
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    Friends who don't want anything more don't let you cuddle up in bed with them, or stick your hand up their top!
    Has she pulled someone else to see how you'd take it? Drop a hint that you might have been a bit jealous- or just come out and say it -but don't make it arsey. Don't have a big serious talk with her, that'll just make it feel like you're giving an ultimatum, keep the tone how you normally would.
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    Ahhh i can see this going badly if you don't talk to her soon. I got like this with one of my friends several times but we never properly discussed it, and then she got a bf, and now it's just....weird.

    Honestly, just send her a text, or meet up with her, and simply say, 'I like you'.
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    I'm not saying she has feelings for you, and I'm not saying she doesnt. But it really sounds like you should just tell her. You clearly feel strongly about her, I actually let out an 'aww' after reading your first post. Just go for it. Pleeeeaaaaaaaase.
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    (Original post by Cultivated)
    Give me a Bee-You-Emm-Pee :awesome:
    Bump!
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    (Original post by beccaarr)
    I'm not saying she has feelings for you, and I'm not saying she doesnt. But it really sounds like you should just tell her. You clearly feel strongly about her, I actually let out an 'aww' after reading your first post. Just go for it. Pleeeeaaaaaaaase.
    Maybe you're right. Sometimes overthinking situations can really **** you over and I'm thinking this is one of them times.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh the thing is I deffo wanna go for it and know I like her as more than just friends but because she's a friend I'm worried about rejection and how that could lead to us drifting apart. Oh well. Silly **** this.
    It's not silly. That happened with one of my best friends - now we don't speak at all, because he told me he was in love with me.

    Saying that, I was also really really good friends with my now bf. Basically we got really close gradually and I knew I really liked him but though he couldn't feel the same way because he's the kind of guy who goes after what he wants. Turns out that applies to all girls except me.

    He didn't do it very well. Told him my ex told me he was still in love with me, few hours later was getting hit on by this guy and he got drunker and drunker and then started laying into me, which culminated in him saying he was crazy about me. I was not laughing at the time. :mad:. But it all worked out!

    And it probably could work out even if she didn't feel the same way - with the first guy he tried to manipulate me into liking him - deliberately trying to make me jealous by excluding me and hooking up with my friends. I got so sick of his behaviour that before he confessed I don't think we were friends anymore. But even still I feel our friendship was a lie - he used it to try to get more out of me.
 
 
 
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