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Aspergers/Autistic or just shy & unconfident? Watch

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    Please help:

    I have read a few notes about Aspergers and Autism - I don't know whether i'm just being paranoid, but sometimes i wonder whether some of the characteristics describe me.

    I have always been shy for as long as I can remember, and since my teenage years I have always been very self confident, and obsessed with my weight. I have never been in a relationship, and only got to 2nd / 3rd dates with a snog because although guys tell me they really like me and show interest, I just can't understand why!?

    I feel like sometimes that I'm a very boring person, because i sometimes don't know how to generate conversations, i am also a bit paranoid sometimes becuase i feel that people feel awkward around me as I may not talk much - especially to people I dont know!
    Its really starting to get me down as i get older, im 22 now and just wish every day that i could do the last 6 years of my life again, and socialise at every opportunity, chat as much as poss, go further on dates, have a fun time etc. I know it sounds a but far fetched but i feel like its over now and ive missed out and those 6 years of doing 'normal' things alot of other ppl do. I have a few close friends, who keep in ontact regularly, but they are all settled down in relationships and due to get married/have babies, thats mainly why my soical life is *****!!
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    You don't have asperger's.

    DOn't self diagnose.
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    To me, it sounds like you're just shy and lack confidence.

    Don't worry, you're only 22 and you have plenty of time to make new friends. Spending time wishing you could do the last six years of your life again is pointless. I would focus on the present and see what you can do now. Maybe join a club that interests you or get in touch with your close friends and see if you can meet new people through them.
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    (Original post by lily_w)
    To me, it sounds like you're just shy and lack confidence. As someone who has lived with an autistic person for most of my life, I think autism is different to what you're describing. Autism makes it difficult to relate to others and form friendships and there is often a very one sided, obsessive element to it (ie only wanting to have conversations about a certain topic/thing that interests them.) Often they don't even realise that they're doing it, but you seem quite self aware. The fact that you have a few close friends is important too, as the autistic people I know find any kind of friendship difficult. You just seem shy and unsure about how to strike up a conversation with someone new - a problem that a lot of people have.

    Don't worry, you're only 22 and you have plenty of time to make new friends. Spending time wishing you could do the last six years of your life again is pointless. I would focus on the present and see what you can do now. Maybe join a club that interests you or get in touch with your close friends and see if you can meet new people through them.
    exactly this. :yes:
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    If you think you may be autistic you probably aren't. Generally, autistic people lack the ability to detect certain emotions such as when somebody is being sarcastic.
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    autism is just the beliefs of doctors. most medicine is.

    You're just shy. :yes:
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    (Original post by Cowboy Dan)
    If you think you may be autistic you probably aren't. Generally, autistic people lack the ability to detect certain emotions such as when somebody is being sarcastic.
    Yes but Aspergers is not. Aspergers are extremely sensitive although true they tend to struggle detecting sarcasm...(this is not an emotion though...)

    OP i agree with what people are saying.
    Aspergers tend to over analyse everyting and look at the fine details. In a conversation they'll be trying analyse absolutely everything and it's what makes them struggle socially. But their ability to look at finer details and the way they think, makes them generally above average intelligence.

    Just sounds like you're shy but if you want to discuss further, feel free to pm me. I live with both a mother and brother with Aspergers syndrome and we frequently have people round for dinner or w.e too...so i have a sound knowledge on their behavior.
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    If you're concerned speak to a doctor. But i agree with the others that it's more of a shyness /confidence thing here.

    Aspergers (as well as what is said above) tend to be quite obsessive with things - ie they'll get an idea in their head and then spend days/weeks thinking about that one thing and tend to be in their own little world. The sarcasm thing is defintiely true - they can struggle to know how to take things. Things like arguing can make them worried and panicky. But Aspergers and Autism is such a wide spectrum so the level to which one has it can vary dramatically. Someone could be very antisocial with it or could be ok socially but just NEED routine or something..
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    Yes but Aspergers is not. Aspergers are extremely sensitive although true they tend to struggle detecting sarcasm...(this is not an emotion though...)
    Yeah I worded that a bit wrong... I'm sure you knew what I meant though.
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    i have all of these.

    doomed to social failure...?....

    i try not to be but its hard........
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    (Original post by i like tea)
    i have all of these.

    doomed to social failure...?....

    i try not to be but its hard........
    Every person whom as has aspergers or autism is different. Just because you show 'symptoms' does not mean you have it.
    Borderline personality disorder and other things are extremely simular in symptoms...this of course present problems for those on the autistic spectrum disorder as they are commonly misdiagnosed and consequently they worsen to such great extent the damage can not be repaired.

    Again if anyone wishes to speak to me then please do. I'm generally quite good at picking these things up but am no way a professional...and i can give you information about where to get assessed, whom to talk to etc.
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    Yes but Aspergers is not. Aspergers are extremely sensitive although true they tend to struggle detecting sarcasm...(this is not an emotion though...)
    Or their biggest downfall is there very literal thinking... A textbook example is if someone tells an Aspergers Kid to pull there socks up... meaning, Work harder, get you act together...!

    A person with Aspergers is highly likely to pull there socks up as in bend down and pull up their socks...!

    I'm an Aspergers and I am forever falling in that trap...

    Our sense of humor is warped as well... meaning we dont often get jokes very well...

    We can misread emotions... for example... a situation when im scared... I will laugh, and yes that has caused major frowning in my direction.
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    (Original post by blackfish)
    Or their biggest downfall is there very literal thinking... A textbook example is if someone tells an Aspergers Kid to pull there socks up... meaning, Work harder, get you act together...!

    A person with Aspergers is highly likely to pull there socks up as in bend down and pull up their socks...!

    I'm an Aspergers and I am forever falling in that trap...

    Our sense of humor is warped as well... meaning we dont often get jokes very well...

    We can misread emotions... for example... a situation when im scared... I will laugh, and yes that has caused major frowning in my direction.
    Yes, the example you gave though wasnt an example of you misreading emotions; it was an example of other people misreading you. My mum tends to do the same thing and can get extremely odd looks!

    Emotions and social things do tend to be misread in Aspergers, mostly due to literal thinking and other things but it varies i think between the person. Emotions i found though in aspergers, they tended to be much more sensitive. For example when i broke my toe my brother tended to constantly come into the room every hour to see if i was ok :P. And another person i know tends to find small situations a big emotional deal...but in generally is very emotional.
    My mum tends to have some mega emotional radar and can tell what everyone's feeling lol.

    Varies with everyone but i do think a common misconception, in my experience is that people with Aspergers are robots and have no emotions and are oblivious.

    I think thats more Autistic then Aspergers.
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    Yes, the example you gave though wasnt an example of you misreading emotions; it was an example of other people misreading you. My mum tends to do the same thing and can get extremely odd looks!

    Emotions and social things do tend to be misread in Aspergers, mostly due to literal thinking and other things but it varies i think between the person. Emotions i found though in aspergers, they tended to be much more sensitive. For example when i broke my toe my brother tended to constantly come into the room every hour to see if i was ok :P. And another person i know tends to find small situations a big emotional deal...but in generally is very emotional.
    My mum tends to have some mega emotional radar and can tell what everyone's feeling lol.

    Varies with everyone but i do think a common misconception, in my experience is that people with Aspergers are robots and have no emotions and are oblivious.

    I think thats more Autistic then Aspergers.
    This is what I've found to be mostly true.

    It's impossible to tell if an awful lot of people have aspergers from initial impressions. You might have it OP, we can't know based on what you post, there may be plenty of things for you that seem normal that you haven't told us about that are indicators of aspergers, you might just be shy and self concious on the other hand.

    If you seriously think you might have aspergers, go to your gp and they'll advise you about getting tested or whatever.
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    (Original post by rajandkwameali)
    autism is just the beliefs of doctors. most medicine is.

    You're just shy. :yes:
    So, now not only is Psychiatry made up, but ALL medicine?
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    (Original post by AshleyT)
    Emotions and social things do tend to be misread in Aspergers, mostly due to literal thinking and other things but it varies i think between the person. Emotions i found though in aspergers, they tended to be much more sensitive. For example when i broke my toe my brother tended to constantly come into the room every hour to see if i was ok :P. And another person i know tends to find small situations a big emotional deal...but in generally is very emotional.
    My mum tends to have some mega emotional radar and can tell what everyone's feeling lol.

    Varies with everyone but i do think a common misconception, in my experience is that people with Aspergers are robots and have no emotions and are oblivious.

    I think thats more Autistic then Aspergers.
    Totally - I have Aspergers and I'm hyper-sensitive most of the time. >_< I think the problem, mainly, is being able to feel and show immediate empathy in the same way as others, which is why people get that idea..(?)
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    aspergers and autism, shyness and social anxiety all have fuzzy boundaries. you are what you think you are to some extent.
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    (Original post by GodspeedGehenna)
    So, now not only is Psychiatry made up, but ALL medicine?
    A lot of medicine is socially constructed. What is and what we think of as disease varies across time, space, and cultures. Especially with so called mental illnesses.
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    (Original post by Reflexive)
    A lot of medicine is socially constructed. What is and what we think of as disease varies across time, space, and cultures. Especially with so called mental illnesses.
    I can see this debate working for mental illness, but not really for "medicine" as the rajekmali nutcase posted.
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    (Original post by Reflexive)
    A lot of medicine is socially constructed. What is and what we think of as disease varies across time, space, and cultures. Especially with so called mental illnesses.
    No, what we thought was disease was wrong in the past. People used to think disease was spread by smell, we now know that was wrong. That's the way in which medicine evolves over time. We grow progressively less ignorant. Medicine (and i'm not talking "alternative" medicine here) is founded on science, and is in no way a social construct. That goes for psychiatry too.
 
 
 
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