I have probably the worst parents in history and I mean that. I'm a 20 year old Asian (indian) only child, who gets treated like a 10 year old.
I have a lot of friends, of all races, but mostly out with my Asian friends. they like to go out, do normal young stuff, like going clubbing, cinema, random drives etc and their parents don't have an issue with it, but mine do.
My parents only let me out during the day, but even so I was lie and say, oh just going bank or something just so that they don't ask "who am I going with, what time you going to be back" etc, its so embarassing when my parents call when I'm out just to ask where I am!
I feel I have no life of my own, because my parents compare their life when they were my age but tell them that its a different generation but they still don't listen!
Moving out? that is not any option, because I don't want to be in debt after I finish uni and secondly its in London, so that would be a waste of money.
My parents assume I'm still their little girl and that I have to ask permission to go out or do something, which sucks big time! How can I tell my parents "I'm going tonight, and won't be home til 4am, without over shocking them? I just want to be like every other normal youth, that can go out but still have this good relationship with their parents
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- Thread Starter
- 25-07-2009 22:08
- 25-07-2009 22:12
Same. Without the Asian or 20 yo part.
I certainly don't got no answers, but how about easing them into it? Go out later and later every night until it becomes normalish?
- 25-07-2009 22:13
My asian friend isn't even allowed out during the day if it makes you feel better.
- 25-07-2009 22:18
I was expecting Hannah Montannah from the title.....I'm dissapointed now
- 25-07-2009 22:22
similar situation...nothing we can do about it..unless you're willing to challenge them...and thats not something i'm willing to do...all i can suggest is doing things behind thier back...it makes me feel good that they'd hate what i'm up to if they knew..silent revenge..!
- 25-07-2009 22:24
First off, there's nothing called a "normal youth" and there are so many individuals in situations like yours.
You have to discuss these things with your parents and try making them see things from your perspective. They were kids once as well and generations change as well as opinions. My mother makes it seem like she was a perfect child (Muslim AND Arab) but then I hear stories from other people about how wild she was .. Parents aren't likely to tell you their 'faults', just protect you from committing same mistakes.
You have to find a way to gain their trust.
Invite your friends over so your parents can get to know them and feel that you're safe.
And about coming home 4am .. Don't think it'll happen to be honest.
- 25-07-2009 22:34
All you can do is talk to them and try and find a compromise. How harsh as it may seem, you are still under their roof so you should abide by their rules. You can ignore them and go out anyway, but if you're too scared of their reaction then you'll be stuck in the situation.
If it's really bugging you, move out. Every other student is in debt too. If you want independence then moving out is the only true solution.
- 25-07-2009 23:30
Have you tryed having a mature conversation with them about it, obviously im not saying you throw some temper tantrums over it, as from your post you dont see to.
As long as you try and portray to them how isolated it is making you feel, and talk about options with them, they may get better with it. At the end of the day they are doing what they think is right to protect you, but obviously a little to much.
- 25-07-2009 23:39
Damn broo i thought i had it bad when im only allowed to stay out till like 1 AM and im 16. All we do is go crusiing about, chilling and do sheesha and things.
But alot of my mates are old for example my friend Sakib hes 22, works in a bank and he's always out late till like 4AM. His parents and my parents are very alike and close friends so i know that my parents will be like that too with me.(then again i have uni to stay out late)
But its all about the way your parents were brought up. Mine were brought up in the middle of a very racist city(at the time) and sometimnes still think its that way.(dont annoy anyone and that jam) but yeh i feel for you.
- 25-07-2009 23:44
theres so many of these threads..
- 26-07-2009 00:07
Move out then.
Or just do it, stay out late, do whatever you want, just let them know you will be doing so, so they don't worry.
- 26-07-2009 00:17
Say you're sleeping over at a friends.
Then go partay.