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Having doubts and it's too late... Watch

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    I've just got married to my partner of several years, who I care for so much, and we're very close, but now we are 'husband and wife' I'm not sure I'm happy to be honest. I just feel like it was too soon, and I feel a little trapped now. I keep thinking that i regret getting married, as I was really happy being engaged, and felt really committed but now I just feel like getting married so soon was a mistake.

    We're both 20, and telling people we're married is embarrassing, as we're so young and people are always shocked and quite unsupportive about it. Also, i feel like we're the odd ones out now, as all other students we know are living the student life, and we're living a more grown-up sorta life, and I feel like we're missing out on being young and free!

    I just wish that we hadn't done it so much. I want to be his fiancée again
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    it's never too late...do whatever you need to do to be happy...if that means not being with him..so be it...
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    Awww bless
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    There's be no difference between engagement and marriage except a name.

    Don't worry yourself over it.
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    Have you talked to him about this. I'd recommend you do so.

    I hope you feel better soon.
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    I was engaged and living with my fiance aged 18 and I feel the same way you do a bit. In a way I wish I hadn't got engaged as people assume marriage will follow shortly and I'm not ready to be a Mrs yet. I don't want to feel old before my time and feel I've taken on a lot of responsibility already!
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    (Original post by unknownking321)
    Have you talked to him about this. I'd recommend you do so.

    I hope you feel better soon.
    How the hell could i bring this up though - it would hurt him so much, and he doesn't deserve that
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    (Original post by haz220807)
    I was engaged and living with my fiance aged 18 and I feel the same way you do a bit. In a way I wish I hadn't got engaged as people assume marriage will follow shortly and I'm not ready to be a Mrs yet. I don't want to feel old before my time and feel I've taken on a lot of responsibility already!
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. At least you haven't signed a contract though! Urgh, I feel so bad. I don't know why I feel like this - I've wanted to be his wife for so long, but now I am, I just feel trapped not happy.
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    People who rush into things have face consequences. Sorry but you deserve it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How the hell could i bring this up though - it would hurt him so much, and he doesn't deserve that
    Better you discuss things than leave them inside, clawing at you and getting you more upset. Just use nicer phrases, and don't point the blame at him, perhaps you could go out and do things with friends as well as each other, either together or apart. Maybe take up a new hobby or something
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How the hell could i bring this up though - it would hurt him so much, and he doesn't deserve that
    Having never been in such a situation, I don't know. However, he may feel the same and/or you feeling down my strain your relationship with him. Is there anyone else you could talk to like your friends/parents? :console:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. At least you haven't signed a contract though! Urgh, I feel so bad. I don't know why I feel like this - I've wanted to be his wife for so long, but now I am, I just feel trapped not happy.
    I think there is a feeling of being trapped.
    Even though I willingly entered into the relationship, the engagement, the living situation, I still feel as though now I'm stuck in it whether I like it or not! There's no way to step back (or to get un-married) in your case without your partner thinking it's because you love them less or don't love them at all.
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    (Original post by Antimatter)
    Better you discuss things than leave them inside, clawing at you and getting you more upset. Just use nicer phrases, and don't point the blame at him, perhaps you could go out and do things with friends as well as each other, either together or apart. Maybe take up a new hobby or something
    It's not that i don't want to be with him, or feel any differently about him, I just don't like the state of being married. like someone said, I'm young and I don't feel it now. I just wish there was a way to just go back to being engaged again.
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    (Original post by unknownking321)
    Having never been in such a situation, I don't know. However, he may feel the same and/or you feeling down my strain your relationship with him. Is there anyone else you could talk to like your friends/parents? :console:
    No, due to various things, I don't have any close friends at the moment, and I'm not close enough to my parents to talk to them about this. i really wish I had someone though, cos boy do i need to talk!
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    (Original post by haz220807)
    I think there is a feeling of being trapped.
    Even though I willingly entered into the relationship, the engagement, the living situation, I still feel as though now I'm stuck in it whether I like it or not! There's no way to step back (or to get un-married) in your case without your partner thinking it's because you love them less or don't love them at all.
    Have you discussed this with your fiancé then? And what do you think I should do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Have you discussed this with your fiancé then? And what do you think I should do?
    Not outright. When people have mentioned marriage I have said to him that I feel like I've taken on a lot of responsibility for my age- most of my friends are out at uni having fun not really bothering about much. I have also told him outright there's no way I'm having children yet because his parents are really trying to push me too so I've been quite firm about that.

    I'm not sure what to advise you to do, I think it's one of those situations where you can say nothing and hope the feeling goes away or you can try and bring the subject up. What about doing more spontaneous fun stuff so it feels more like the beginning of a relationship than a marriage? Money permitting maybe go on a holiday as then you'll have less stress (hopefully) and can just have a fun time. If not why not go out on 'dates' again cause I think most couples stop doing this as much once it gets to the engagement/marriage stage.

    Hope this is of some help.
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    And here's the reason why people shouldn't rush into such a massive commitment.
    Why not get divorced? everyone else seems to :rolleyes:
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    It was too soon imo. You're too young, once again, imo.
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    Divorce and take half of his student loan!!!!
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    Are you still wanting to be with him? Or is it you've completely been turned off the idea of that as well? Just wondering because that would mean a whole other thing.

    How long ago did you get married?

    I know that you say you feel that you feel trapped now you are husband and wife but really it shouldn't have to feel that way, it's just a piece of paper.

    I'm not and have never been in your situation but wouldn't things still be the same, the only difference being a signed document?
 
 
 
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