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Friends + Self Hatred *possibly triggering for S/H* watch

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    Sorry this is so long.
    I know that this is extremely petty, I can understand that, but that’s why I’m posting, because I’m annoyed that it’s getting to me so badly.
    Basically I used to kinda be in a group of four, but slowly we separated into two, me and Anna (names changed) and then Charlotte and Amy, Amy would be weird, and like disregard anything we had to say, and make me feel like ****. Both me and Anna saw this, and there was a big argument, but Charlotte didn’t really get involved.
    Amy basically licked Charlotte’s arse all the time (lol no, not literally) and things were always weird.
    We thought we sorted things, and me and Charlotte never had any issues at all, we were always cool with each other.
    Recently she had her 18th, and invited Anna and Amy, but not me. Part of this was perfectly understandable, it was in a limo for some of it, so limited numbers etc. But then afterwards they went clubbing, and she didn’t invite me, or even tell me she was doing anything, I found out from Anna who was telling me she was going. As far as I know, from face book, they went clubbing twice, on two different nights, but she didn’t invite me to either.
    This has really upset me, even though I know that it’s pathetic and childish, but it’s really getting to me.
    I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong, I don’t know why she doesn’t want to know me?
    With most of my friends I always feel inferior, and like my opinion doesn’t matter. I feel like the “plain” one, that I’m not pretty enough, or girly enough or something, I just feel like I don’t fit in, and I don’t matter.
    Someone just said this to me, which I guess is true, but I don’t know what to do about it?

    you have self confidence issues, and by your own admission you hate yourself. so you've probably got a very negatively warped image of yourself in your head, so you're not going to be favourable towards yourself comparing yourself to them

    I really do hate myself…and I don’t know how to change that. I think that the fact that i self harm is part of the problem, I hate myself, so SH, but then because I SH I hate myself, and then it adds to why I feel I don’t fit in because all of my friends thing SH is ridiculous, and when studying books like The Bell Jar, say that she’s a stupid attention seeker…and that “if someone’s slitting themselves then they must be mental! Haha!”
    And things like that…

    I don’t know

    Any advice with the friend situation, and the self hatred, and anything in general is much appreciated…thank you…
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