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    Sorry such a long post...

    I'm a 17 year old girl. I split up with my ex of 2 years about a month or so ago, I am in a much less serious relationship with someone else who is lovely, sweet, caring and obviously likes me a lot, but I'm so unhappy.
    I just love my ex so much. We split up because basically I thought I didn't have romantic feelings for him anymore and we went through a lot of bad times, and I really thought I was attracted to this other boy.

    When I split up with my ex the last time, I didn't feel too bad about it because we were very on-off for the last couple of months, but now it's seriously starting to get to me. I found out he was planning to propose this Christmas (I will be 18 by then) and he'd even picked out a ring...
    I've never been as close to anyone as I was with my ex, we had so many little in-jokes and so many future plans...but the relationship wasn't very practical, we did argue quite a lot and there are a lot of things I don't like about his circumstances. Yet everything I see reminds me of him in some way, and I just find myself snapping at my current if he acts differently to my ex- it's like I'm trying to have the best of both worlds- the newness of a relationship but with someone like my ex.

    My ex says that he still loves me just as much as before and is willing to get back with me if I was to split up with my current, but he's sick of trying to get a job and is going to apply to be in the army...which basically means that if he goes through with that, I can't be with him because I couldn't deal with the LDR and obviously would worry myself stupid about him being in other countries/ war zones

    I just can't stand the thought of not being with him! I want things to go back to how they were when things were good between us, but I don't see how it's possible. I also don't see how I can ever get over him and actually be a happy person.
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    Hmmm, this is a tough one...but it's obvious you're on the rebound and the first thing you should do is step away from your new partner and reassess the situation. Don't lead your current bf on because that could lead to even more trouble. Does your ex know you have a bf? If he doesn't and he finds out, you may never have a chance with your ex again.

    By the way, 18 is quite early to be getting married! :eek:
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    Read the first paragraph. Same here, good effort. I dumped her 'cause I was onto something bigger and better (didn't feel romantic for her, but for girl X). Didn't work out, tried getting her back - took a long time to get over the fact I couldn't have her.

    I was in a pretty bad way - turned into a hermit, not wanting to go out, and crying when girls came onto me in nightclubs because I wasn't ready (yep, not me at my best). But, as I was told, you'll get over it. I am, and happy I am too - moving onto bigger and better things. It's not easy, it takes time, but you'll get there.

    :top:
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    Hmmm, this is a tough one...but it's obvious you're on the rebound and the first thing you should do is step away from your new partner and reassess the situation. Don't lead your current bf on because that could lead to even more trouble. Does your ex know you have a bf? If he doesn't and he finds out, you may never have a chance with your ex again.

    By the way, 18 is quite early to be getting married!
    :eek:
    Yeah he knows...bah, it's complicated. I'm kind of aware that I'm leading this other person on but I genuinely thought that I'd give him a chance and I'd be able to get over my ex easily...I was a fool :/

    And we weren't planning to get married when I was 18, more of an engaged at 18, married after uni kind of thing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah he knows...bah, it's complicated. I'm kind of aware that I'm leading this other person on but I genuinely thought that I'd give him a chance and I'd be able to get over my ex easily...I was a fool :/

    And we weren't planning to get married when I was 18, more of an engaged at 18, married after uni kind of thing.
    Well I reckon you have to follow your feelings. There is no point denying the fact you are desperately in love with your ex. You clearly want him so bad from what I've gathered. But with the army thing, I'm not sure how to advise you

    Oh ok, that's more normal then
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    dont get back together. it never works again.
    deal with the up-down feelings and move on.
    you think you love him now.. only because you're not 'in love' with anybody else.
    in a few years you'll realise you didn't love him.
    just play around and forget him.
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    (Original post by Mazija)
    dont get back together. it never works again.
    deal with the up-down feelings and move on.
    you think you love him now.. only because you're not 'in love' with anybody else.
    in a few years you'll realise you didn't love him.
    just play around and forget him.
    Do you really think so?
    What do you mean by 'it never works again'?
    It's funny you should say that, last time I really wanted to get back with him, but when we did get back things weren't the same
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you really think so?
    What do you mean by 'it never works again'?
    It's funny you should say that, last time I really wanted to get back with him, but when we did get back things weren't the same
    S/he (sorry, didn't look) means it won't work again. It's not cool news when you're hurting, but it does get easier over time (a variable which has no constant, unfortunately). I'd stay away from rebounds if you can, they don't really help matters too much.

    :top:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you really think so?
    What do you mean by 'it never works again'?
    It's funny you should say that, last time I really wanted to get back with him, but when we did get back things weren't the same
    yes i really do think so. its annoying to hear.. but, most of the time its true.
    it won't work again. it broke once, and its going to stay broken.
    the only reason you're thinking of getting back together with him is because you havn't moved on and you think the only answer is to go backwards. that never works and it will make the situation alot messier.
    really, just drop things and move on. ignore him and cut him out if you have to.
    freeze up, toughen up. you won't feel a thing.
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    Thinking of marriage at 18? lol

    Might as well get the divorce papers ready as well. People like you disgust me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thinking of marriage at 18? lol

    Might as well get the divorce papers ready as well. People like you disgust me.
    Why?
    Not marriage, engagement as I've already said. Marriage when we were older. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow, why not get engaged to someone you love and want to share your life with? And don't 'people like me' me, I am myself. Who's to say it wouldn't last?
    I would probably have stayed engaged for a long time, but I wouldn't have married unless I knew it was the right thing, because I don't plan to ever divorce.
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    god.... i hate *****es like the OP
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    (Original post by Diaz89)
    god.... i hate *****es like the OP
    why a *****?
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    Winner, didn't read the rest of your post beyond the first paragraph until now; the reason I split with my ex was because she was giving me the sob story about my joining the forces. How apt!

    It's tough keeping a relationship in the forces, even for the strongest of couples. Didn't [/doesn't] work for me, but hey, it is possible!

    :top:
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    I personally disagree with those who say going back 'never' works again but I think you need to take a good look at yourself and what you want. Don't hang onto this relationship with the new guy if you really want your ex. It's not fair to anyone.

    However, if you couldn't deal with the LDR and worrying if your ex joined the army (if you got back with him) then don't enter into anything there without thinking about it carefully. Maybe you should just be single for a while, and think about things carefully before doing anything. All the best.
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    Solution:

    Go out
    get drunk
    get double/triple teamed to take your mind off your ex
    ????
    profit
 
 
 
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