Mum wants to leave the family? Watch

NinjaBread
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#1
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My parents are often bickering at each other after they have been to the pub (mum always says how my dad annoys her - my dad will say how my mum is selfish (but she actually is - not completely though)
But a few days a go she said that she wanted to leave and said she might not be here in the morning...But I thought she was only kidding - It sounded as though she was saying it as a joke.
The next day she was still here and didn't mention what she had said so I thought she was just joking
But today they came home drunk - so the bickering started
But my dad started saying she said that without us she would have quite a bit of money (we're not poor - we have a house and a fair bit of luxuries (tv, laptop ect) but we are defo not well off, but I'm not complaining about that ) and my dad started saying he thought she wanted to leave and that she had said before that she would leave when I was grown up (which I am now, but I didn't know about this)

I obviously don't want her to stay in this house with my dad if she is unhappy or just do it for me or my brother
But I'm worrying about what would happen if she did leave
I'm 18 so if she left she wouldn't have to see me ever again or fund me at all
My dad can't afford to pay the rent by himself so he would lose the house or I would need to try and earn enough to keep it
Or we would need to find a cheaper house

I'm just worried because I don't want my family to become homeless because I'm unemployed atm (waiting to start college in Sept.) so even if I got a job it would never be enough for a house
If she left would there be anything out there to help in that situation? Is there anything I would be able to do if she leaves?

I don't really know if anyone here would be able to help me, but I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest essentially - other than sitting here myself worrying about the worst

Thanks if anyone reads this.
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Mr_Deeds
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Sorry to hear that ! Is your brother younger than you? If so, and assuming your dad has custody, your mum will have to pay child maintenance and your dad will be entitled to tax credits. Your dad may also be eligible for income support but that depends on certain criteria and he may also be entitled to some benefit for you since you are still in full-time education and younger than 19. Otherwise, your mum is probably entitled to a 50% share in the house and if you're dad can't afford the mortgage on his own it is unlikely that he will be able to buy her out. Again, if your brother is a minor and your dad has custody the court would probably not force a sale but this isn't something which you should be worrying about and you certainly won't end up homeless whatever the outcome. :console:
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Basmati
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#3
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the pretty much exaxt same thing is happening to me
taken my dads side cos hes the one making the effort (L)
my dad isnt able to buy her our of the hose so we afe moving- itsok you get sed to it all
if she follows my mumd example she wont leave fro two years yet0 give it time
chats requried then pm me
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NinjaBread
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(Original post by Mr_Deeds)
Sorry to hear that ! Is your brother younger than you? If so, and assuming your dad has custody, your mum will have to pay child maintenance and your dad will be entitled to tax credits. Your dad may also be eligible for income support but that depends on certain criteria and he may also be entitled to some benefit for you since you are still in full-time education and younger than 19. Otherwise, your mum is probably entitled to a 50% share in the house and if you're dad can't afford the mortgage on his own it is unlikely that he will be able to buy her out. Again, if your brother is a minor and your dad has custody the court would probably not force a sale but this isn't something which you should be worrying about and you certainly won't end up homeless whatever the outcome. :console:
My brothers actually older than me (and older than 19)
So legally neither of my parents need to keep us - is that right?
Ahh so you would only get benefit until I'm 19

Thank you very much I appreciate the help :blushing:
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NinjaBread
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(Original post by Basmati)
the pretty much exaxt same thing is happening to me
taken my dads side cos hes the one making the effort (L)
my dad isnt able to buy her our of the hose so we afe moving- itsok you get sed to it all
if she follows my mumd example she wont leave fro two years yet0 give it time
chats requried then pm me
Ahh ok sorry you're in that situation too but I'm glad it's working out pretty well for you
Thank you - I'm sure it will all work out ok in a bit :o:
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sil3nt_cha0s
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I'm so sorry for all your troubles :sad:

:hugs:
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oh_adele
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Your parents aren't required by law to support you +18, but don't take it upon yourself to think about helping your family financially. Just try and support your Dad. If you have to downsize and end up paying some rent to your Dad, it might work out alright. Just remember, this isn't your fault. Good luck.
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Mr_Deeds
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(Original post by NinjaBread)
My brothers actually older than me (and older than 19)
So legally neither of my parents need to keep us - is that right?
Ahh so you would only get benefit until I'm 19

Thank you very much I appreciate the help :blushing:
That's correct. Your dad will get extra help for your still being in full-time education though.
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Breadboy
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Unfortunately enough you just have to respect your parents decision. I know its gonna be hard for you if the worst does happen but it isnt really fair to force your mum to stay with your dad (though, that said. Is it fair to effectively throw you out of the house).

Perhaps the best thing you could do is suggest they dont go out drinking together, as this seems to be what causes the problems.
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km31
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(Original post by NinjaBread)
My parents are often bickering at each other after they have been to the pub (mum always says how my dad annoys her - my dad will say how my mum is selfish (but she actually is - not completely though)
But a few days a go she said that she wanted to leave and said she might not be here in the morning...But I thought she was only kidding - It sounded as though she was saying it as a joke.
The next day she was still here and didn't mention what she had said so I thought she was just joking
But today they came home drunk - so the bickering started
But my dad started saying she said that without us she would have quite a bit of money (we're not poor - we have a house and a fair bit of luxuries (tv, laptop ect) but we are defo not well off, but I'm not complaining about that ) and my dad started saying he thought she wanted to leave and that she had said before that she would leave when I was grown up (which I am now, but I didn't know about this)

I obviously don't want her to stay in this house with my dad if she is unhappy or just do it for me or my brother
But I'm worrying about what would happen if she did leave
I'm 18 so if she left she wouldn't have to see me ever again or fund me at all
My dad can't afford to pay the rent by himself so he would lose the house or I would need to try and earn enough to keep it
Or we would need to find a cheaper house

I'm just worried because I don't want my family to become homeless because I'm unemployed atm (waiting to start college in Sept.) so even if I got a job it would never be enough for a house
If she left would there be anything out there to help in that situation? Is there anything I would be able to do if she leaves?

I don't really know if anyone here would be able to help me, but I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest essentially - other than sitting here myself worrying about the worst

Thanks if anyone reads this.
Wow that sucks, almost the same thing happened to me, but when i was about 13 so my dad got money for me and stuff, my mum didnt pay anything though

We kept the house for a while but eventually had to move into a coucil flat, where we still are now, at first i was a bit upset about moving from a nice house in the suburbs to a 2 bed council flat on an estate, but its really not bad at all : )

I hope everything works out for you, don't worry too much about it, it's your parents messto deal with! But maybe, if ur closer to ur dad try and talk to your him a bit to see how the situation is developing?
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booger
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People say a lot of things they don't mean at all when they're drunk. Some people just like to pick arguments when they're drunk. You could be reading a bit much into it. How ever they may be unhappy. I doubt you'd end up having to move to be honest.
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NinjaBread
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(Original post by Breadboy)
Unfortunately enough you just have to respect your parents decision. I know its gonna be hard for you if the worst does happen but it isnt really fair to force your mum to stay with your dad (though, that said. Is it fair to effectively throw you out of the house).

Perhaps the best thing you could do is suggest they dont go out drinking together, as this seems to be what causes the problems.
Yeh you're right :p:
haha I doubt they would stop but they do still bicker when they are sober it's just when they are drunk it's a bit more noticable and they lose control of the volume of their voices - so think they are talking when they are infact shouting across the room :p:
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NinjaBread
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(Original post by booger)
People say a lot of things they don't mean at all when they're drunk. Some people just like to pick arguments when they're drunk. You could be reading a bit much into it. How ever they may be unhappy. I doubt you'd end up having to move to be honest.
They do argue when sober but when they are drunk it just comes out more - if you know what I mean so I think it is actually their true feelings..unfortunately :p:
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