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I think my Muslim friend's parents have banned her from seeing me :( Watch

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    I've been good friends with a girl since we met at school when we were 13 (we're 21 now). She's a Pakistani Muslim but I'm not and lately it feels like shes been avoiding me and I don't know why.

    We both went to uni but have always stayed in contact over the years. Shes studying Medicine so shes often busy and unable to meet up (which I understand) but it feels like shes deliberately not making the effort now.

    At the end of May, I bought us last minute tickets to see the Pussycat Dolls as its her favourite band and she was feeling down because of personal problems and exams. She decided to keep it a secret from her parents, as they're very strict Muslims and she wasn't sure how they'd react. Despite that, she was really happy and we had a great time. I haven't heard from her since - she didn't even bother seeing me for my 21st birthday at the beginning of July. I understand shes busy with exams, but I didn't even get a card or anything and I always make a real effort for her birthday.

    A few weeks ago, she sent me a text saying shes sorry she hasn't replied to any of my messages but shes busy with exams and can't meet up until August. I understand this, but another friend of ours recently returned from a year abroad and shes been sending her loads of messages on facebook and talking about meeting up. I'm a bit upset as I haven't heard from her in months, yet she has the time to write to our friend on facebook.

    I don't know why shes being like this. I thought that maybe her parents might have found out about the Pussycat Dolls concert and banned her from seeing me. I already think they have a bit of a problem with me, as her dad ignores me whenever I go round to her house. I think they see me as a bad influence because I'm not Muslim and my parents give me a lot of freedom. Its likely they did find out because she told a lot of people on her Medicine course and I have a feeling a lot of her 'friends' spy on her and report back to their parents who tell her parents what shes up to. I know that her parents don't like her listening to the Pussycat Dolls, as her dad threw her out of the house for buying their album.

    What should I do? Do you think shes been banned from seeing me? Shes acting really weird and I feel like i'm losing a good friend.
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    So she has not returned your calls, messages etc so it mean her parents have banned her from seeing you? :lolwut:

    Maybe she is not avoiding you but just really busy. Or maybe she is avoiding you because she wants to. I fail to see how it could be her parents from what you have said really.

    Who doesn't keep things from the parents/sneaks out? It don't mean that they are banning her from having any human contact!

    Why not just talk to her....email her or something.
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    I'm just really unsure - I think her parents banning her is most likely because they've banned her from leaving the house and stuff before. They're so strict.
    I would email her but I think it'd be pointless as she just says the same thing (ie 'I'm busy with exams, sorry'). Just seems like a bit of a brush off and I'm not sure why as I've always tried to be a good friend and support her through her problems etc.
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    The situation you're in doesn't necessarily translate into you being specifically singled-out as a "bad influence" by her parents. Go 'round to her house if you want a straight answer.
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    bet cha jew
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    (Original post by lily_w)
    I'm just really unsure - I think her parents banning her is most likely because they've banned her from leaving the house and stuff before. They're so strict.
    I would email her but I think it'd be pointless as she just says the same thing (ie 'I'm busy with exams, sorry'). Just seems like a bit of a brush off and I'm not sure why as I've always tried to be a good friend and support her through her problems etc.
    have you asked her if its because of her parents?
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    Is the other 'friend' on Facebook a Muslim or not?
    What have you done (apart from the secret PCD-concert) to make them dislike you so much?
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    Wanna shag?
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    i dont know.. maybe its you? its weird. friends are up and down anyway.
    id ignore her too for a while.
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    puussycatdols is ****
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    (Original post by lily_w)
    I'm just really unsure - I think her parents banning her is most likely because they've banned her from leaving the house and stuff before. They're so strict.
    I would email her but I think it'd be pointless as she just says the same thing (ie 'I'm busy with exams, sorry'). Just seems like a bit of a brush off and I'm not sure why as I've always tried to be a good friend and support her through her problems etc.
    You can jump from one assumption to another one all your life but until you don't ask her straight you won't know.

    Also people tend to drift apart when they do to different uni's, study different things - you have less in common so you just naturally drift apart.
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    (Original post by Sver)
    Dont ever befriend muslims, they are smooth criminals
    What a complete douche of an answer.

    But OP, give it some time, see what happens. She said she could see you in August, hopefully when you do get to see her, things will become more clear.

    In all honesty though, damn her parents sound strict.
    I mean, I'm a Muslim as well but my parents are not at all like hers. I play whatever I want, whenever I want.
    Have her parents banned her from seeing any of her other mates in your knowledge?
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    You should phone her and explain this thoery about her parents. Listen to her reaction and you will be able to tell if shes hiding something.
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    (Original post by 46664)
    You can jump from one assumption to another one all your life but until you don't ask her straight you won't know.

    Also people tend to drift apart when they do to different uni's, study different things - you have less in common so you just naturally drift apart.
    I can see why you think I'm assuming things but I think what I suspect is likely. I haven't written down everything (as I don't want to write specific things on here in case she sees it and realises its about her.) That would cause trouble. We've always had a strong friendship and have never 'drifted apart', even when we went to uni which is why I think its odd that this is happening now.
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    (Original post by Mozzi)
    Have her parents banned her from seeing any of her other mates in your knowledge?
    I know they banned her from seeing a boy mate in sixth form as they thought she'd get romantic ideas about him.
    Most of her friends now tend to be Muslim. She used to have a lot of different friends but shes slowly stopped seeing them. I do think her parents may influence this as shes never allowed to go on holiday or anything with me, but shes allowed to go with her Muslim friends.
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    (Original post by Sver)
    Dont ever befriend muslims, they are smooth criminals
    Excuse me?:mad:
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    Tbh dear, her parents probably dont aprove of her being friends with you. some muslims are incredibly strict and pcd well if her dad threw her out for bying their album then the chances are they most definetly dont want her seing you all the time when your the one who got her tickets for the show, know what i mean. But in conlucion It sounds like someone else has said the only thing you can do is ask her straight and see what happends from there.

    Friendship goes both ways you'f been persistent you just need to speak to her and see what the problem is.
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    She is hiding something, give her some time until August then start asking the questions.
    Or she might be really busy with her studies.
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    Hi. firstyl im muslim and i understan the strictness, my bestfriend is also like urself a non muslim. i sometimes avoid her to stop confrontation at home. purely because i cannot be asked to go through all of that, not that i dont love her to piecees.. i sometime have to pretend to be closer to other friends in order to go out etc. purely for the excuse, i would not take this personally. see your friend in august and see what happens. make sure u talk to her when u see her about how u feel. maybe make a peice offering with her parents when u go round. make an extra effort to wear clothes that cover. this might help.
    also why not cook and take t round for her mumm. muslims love that
    hope this helps.
    xx
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    (Original post by mazkhan)
    Hi. firstyl im muslim and i understan the strictness, my bestfriend is also like urself a non muslim. i sometimes avoid her to stop confrontation at home. purely because i cannot be asked to go through all of that, not that i dont love her to piecees.. i sometime have to pretend to be closer to other friends in order to go out etc. purely for the excuse, i would not take this personally. see your friend in august and see what happens. make sure u talk to her when u see her about how u feel. maybe make a peice offering with her parents when u go round. make an extra effort to wear clothes that cover. this might help.
    also why not cook and take t round for her mumm. muslims love that
    hope this helps.
    xx
    :lolwut:
 
 
 
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