Thinking about self-harm Watch

Anonymous #1
#21
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#21
Thanks flying cookie, I will use your idea
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Flying Cookie
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#22
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks flying cookie, I will use your idea
Hey I didn't mean to be mean. My sarcasmdar is broken. Are you really going to use it or what?
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voudreau
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
recently I finished my uni, left there graduating but didnt go on the big stage to get applauded etc and rightly so, no one really cares or noticed that i werent there.
Everyone gets nervous when they graduate. They will have been focusing on going up on the stage and not makes themselves look foolish. Forget about them and focus on yourself. Not everyone gets a degree you know! You have already become more successful than 65% of the population in this country.
(Original post by Anonymous)
its been 2months since no uni and theres still 3months left till my dad's 10th death anniversary and i feel depressed and have no one to talk to
You are welcome to PM me if you can catch me online http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...milies/yep.gif I do try not to get addicted to the internetz.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I tried commiting suicide 2 days ago but failed and now im contemplating cutting myself as one of my internet friend's who is also depressed does this and says she gets relief from it. Im scared of doing it but anyone any experience with this?
Well it seems your just not cut out for suicide http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/p.gif Don't cut yourself; people become addicted and it won't make the issues disappear. Confront the issues and maybe try to help your internet friend. It will be easier to get through if you do it together.
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LadySmythe
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#24
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#24
Once you start, yuou will never go back. People very very close to me have self-harmed, and when somethings gone wrong again, its the first thing they do. It's so horrible to watch (I do intervene when I see it but sometimes its too late) and makes you feel much worse.

You've taken a good first step, asking for support to stop you from doing this. You just need to keep it up now

PM me if you want to chat, or try talking to your GP or a counsillor if all else fails.

:hugs: Remember to keep your head up high, things are never as bad as they initially seem, trust me.
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Shiny Dirt
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#25
seems you want to do it for attention- there are a lot of other better ways of getting attention then permanently scarring your body and mind.

unless you want to go hell and back again and again get some help from your GP, confront your friends and family and tell them how you're feeling, confide in family and get support back.
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there's too much love
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A lot of people here are saying don't do it, it's addictive, and one person is even trying to guilt you into not doing it:



(Original post by kashim91)
Go to the GP as soon as possible and tell someone close to you, before its too late!. The doctor will hopefully sort you out. In the mean time, find something to do, anything. That way you will be to pre-occupied to think about it. Please don't self-harm, , it hurts me to even hear about torture, let alone see it.

whilst others are saying it's a slippery slope and telling you if you do it this WILL happen:

(Original post by AshleyT)
If you want to be ruled by addiction then go for it. You'll be surrendering everything your worth.

Theirs really no need to kill yourself. Your still young and have plenty you can do if you stop feeling sorry for yourself and grasp the determination to do it.
I find both of these attitudes, and these posts in particular, to involve a lot of uncessesary pressure making. The worst for me is when it comes from someone close to you, luckily these are just people on a forum.

By pressurising someone to no self harm you are firstly taking away one potential avenue of stress relief, and adding more stress to that persons life.

This is the prime reason why I said I'm not going to tell you to or not to self harm OP.

One of the most harmful things you can do really is tell a self harmer to stop, I guess the fact that you're not a self harmer, you're just thinking about it, makes it different.

When I self harmed, I cut myself about 3 times a session, and the sessions were months and months, one time even years apart. I haven't self harmed for I don't know how long, I didn't find it addictive, I found it a form of relief and escapism from my problems and a way of rationalising what was happening. I would get into a cycle I've now broken, by which I would feel undeserving of the things I had, would cut myself, would mentally bully myself, thinking "I'm not good enough" etc. and would feel that by doing this I had made up for the things I felt I didn't deserve.

I'm pleased to say that cycle if pretty much broken and I've now got a higher self esteem and the ability to rationalise things in a very different manner.

I recomend to those telling the op to not do it, that they realise it's firslty, not about them, it's about the op, and secondly that adding the pressure on rarely has a positive effect, remember the stresses of life are usually the prime cause of self harm and you're only adding to the reasons to do it, and then the reasons to amplify the guilt afterwards inturn adding more stress.

I'm sorry if this is a little long, and I don't mean any offence to the people I've singled out, I just think they need some perspective. And whilst I don't feel I was ever really addicted to self harm, that doesn't mean you won't be if you try it, or that you will be. We're all different.
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Anonymous #7
#27
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#27
(Original post by there's too much love)
A lot of people here are saying don't do it, it's addictive, and one person is even trying to guilt you into not doing it:






whilst others are saying it's a slippery slope and telling you if you do it this WILL happen:



I find both of these attitudes, and these posts in particular, to involve a lot of uncessesary pressure making. The worst for me is when it comes from someone close to you, luckily these are just people on a forum.

By pressurising someone to no self harm you are firstly taking away one potential avenue of stress relief, and adding more stress to that persons life.

This is the prime reason why I said I'm not going to tell you to or not to self harm OP.

One of the most harmful things you can do really is tell a self harmer to stop, I guess the fact that you're not a self harmer, you're just thinking about it, makes it different.

When I self harmed, I cut myself about 3 times a session, and the sessions were months and months, one time even years apart. I haven't self harmed for I don't know how long, I didn't find it addictive, I found it a form of relief and escapism from my problems and a way of rationalising what was happening. I would get into a cycle I've now broken, by which I would feel undeserving of the things I had, would cut myself, would mentally bully myself, thinking "I'm not good enough" etc. and would feel that by doing this I had made up for the things I felt I didn't deserve.

I'm pleased to say that cycle if pretty much broken and I've now got a higher self esteem and the ability to rationalise things in a very different manner.

I recomend to those telling the op to not do it, that they realise it's firslty, not about them, it's about the op, and secondly that adding the pressure on rarely has a positive effect, remember the stresses of life are usually the prime cause of self harm and you're only adding to the reasons to do it, and then the reasons to amplify the guilt afterwards inturn adding more stress.

I'm sorry if this is a little long, and I don't mean any offence to the people I've singled out, I just think they need some perspective. And whilst I don't feel I was ever really addicted to self harm, that doesn't mean you won't be if you try it, or that you will be. We're all different.
You were lucky and I hope many other people who have self harmed before are the same as you.

I was one of the people who said that it was addictive, but I said that from personal experience. My boyfriend used to self harm a lot when he was going through a terrible part of is life. He was even suicidal and attemped it a few times. About 20 months on when (according to him) that his life turned around for the better, still when something goes horribly wrong in his life and he thinks its his fault, he turns to self harming for a release.

I think is cases like this that cause people to think its addictive. Tbh now looking at it I think its the wrong word to use, but closest to explain it if you understand that.

I really hope OP reads your post though, I think it will give them the help and support they need.
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there's too much love
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#28
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You were lucky and I hope many other people who have self harmed before are the same as you.

I was one of the people who said that it was addictive, but I said that from personal experience. My boyfriend used to self harm a lot when he was going through a terrible part of is life. He was even suicidal and attemped it a few times. About 20 months on when (according to him) that his life turned around for the better, still when something goes horribly wrong in his life and he thinks its his fault, he turns to self harming for a release.

I think is cases like this that cause people to think its addictive. Tbh now looking at it I think its the wrong word to use, but closest to explain it if you understand that.

I really hope OP reads your post though, I think it will give them the help and support they need.
I don't think it is additive in itself, but that anything can be habit forming, if you become reliant on anything it's likely to become addictive. I had luckily other avenues of expression, such as my diary, and a healthy dose of crying. I also found that it was mainly my parents that I felt bad about. I constantly got into fights with mum and dad and as a result I felt a huge pressure to be what they wanted. I was often accused of storming out of the house however I would take power walks of such to help exercise out my anger before it turned into blaming myself.

I find I have similar, although far less sever, lines of thought still, but I can recognise the causes so on so forth.

It's one thing to stop for instance, trying to commit suicide or self harming, and another to change the attitudes that lead on to do those things (which is the thing I guess I've preached in all of my posts on this thread, and firmly believe).
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ParadoxSocks
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#29
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OP - you should really really avoid it. I started at the age of 11, and now at the grand old age of 23, I still have days when it seems a good idea. I haven't gone more than 4 weeks in the past decade without self harming. My body is a complete mess (legs, chest, arms) and the relief that you get lasts a grand total of 10 minutes before the panic sets in and you feel awful about whatever you felt awful about before plus about what you've just done.

Quite a few of those saying it makes them feel better are those running around with little scratches buying into the 'I'm so cool' thing. Those who self harm really bad know it's not worth it, it doesn't make them feel any better and in the long term it's just an incredibly stupid, messed up thing to do. I've had online friends end up in hospital and I've had them go too far and die. It's really not worth it.

You need to get professional help. It's completely your choice though but you really need to think this through. Just by posting here you're showing that you have doubts and you want help.
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laeof
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(Original post by there's too much love)
A lot of people here are saying don't do it, it's addictive, and one person is even trying to guilt you into not doing it:






whilst others are saying it's a slippery slope and telling you if you do it this WILL happen:



I find both of these attitudes, and these posts in particular, to involve a lot of uncessesary pressure making. The worst for me is when it comes from someone close to you, luckily these are just people on a forum.

By pressurising someone to no self harm you are firstly taking away one potential avenue of stress relief, and adding more stress to that persons life.

This is the prime reason why I said I'm not going to tell you to or not to self harm OP.

One of the most harmful things you can do really is tell a self harmer to stop, I guess the fact that you're not a self harmer, you're just thinking about it, makes it different.

When I self harmed, I cut myself about 3 times a session, and the sessions were months and months, one time even years apart. I haven't self harmed for I don't know how long, I didn't find it addictive, I found it a form of relief and escapism from my problems and a way of rationalising what was happening. I would get into a cycle I've now broken, by which I would feel undeserving of the things I had, would cut myself, would mentally bully myself, thinking "I'm not good enough" etc. and would feel that by doing this I had made up for the things I felt I didn't deserve.

I'm pleased to say that cycle if pretty much broken and I've now got a higher self esteem and the ability to rationalise things in a very different manner.

I recomend to those telling the op to not do it, that they realise it's firslty, not about them, it's about the op, and secondly that adding the pressure on rarely has a positive effect, remember the stresses of life are usually the prime cause of self harm and you're only adding to the reasons to do it, and then the reasons to amplify the guilt afterwards inturn adding more stress.

I'm sorry if this is a little long, and I don't mean any offence to the people I've singled out, I just think they need some perspective. And whilst I don't feel I was ever really addicted to self harm, that doesn't mean you won't be if you try it, or that you will be. We're all different.
Sorry but when you have to see your mum slashing away at her arms and then two of your best friends doing it for attention; You'll have the same opinion i do.

There are better ways of relieving stress then slashing your arms.

Furthermore you will start to be controlled by the addiction and worry every time you go out how your going to cover your arms.

But then again the people i knew may have been ruled by it and you weren't...well done to you.

But i'm with snoggy above this post and everything she says.
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there's too much love
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#31
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(Original post by AshleyT)
Sorry but when you have to see your mum slashing away at her arms and then two of your best friends doing it for attention; You'll have the same opinion i do.

There are better ways of relieving stress then slashing your arms.

Furthermore you will start to be controlled by the addiction and worry every time you go out how your going to cover your arms.

But then again the people i knew may have been ruled by it and you weren't...well done to you.

But i'm with snoggy above this post and everything she says.

how very ******* presumptious of you to say what my opinion will be if certain things happen.
With all due respect you don't know the OP or what will or won't happen so if you could stop predcting the future in absoultes? Thanks.

Of course there are better ways of dealing with things but that doesn't stop you from self harming. Sometimes I haven't been able to express myself in my writing, I haven't felt safe going outside (especially when in an emotionally unstable mood that will no doubt make me look like a victim and increase my chances of getting beaten up) and all I've found as an expressiong beyound crying whilst breathing hard and fast has been a knife.

Now I'm not proud of that, nor am I ashamed, it's something that happened. And whilst I hope to help open more avenues of expression for the OP and other people feeling that they may start to self harm just cutting that one off and saying it's bad don't do it doesn't tend to help the situation, as I've stated, it usually makes things worse.

The self harming is usually not the problem, it is a result of the problem, dealing with the root rather than what's caused will most likely be much more helpful.

For this I draw upon the analogy of the gas fire. You can get rid of the fire by putting it out with say, water, and let the gas explode after a build up or you can turn the gas off. The gas being the problem. The fire being a temporary way of stopping the gas from going out of control. The turning off of the gas being the soultion.
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Anonymous #1
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The thought of people doing it and it being so habit forming that it lasts from 13 to the age of 23 .. thats 10 years, that really puts me off if its that addictive. Im contemplating (trying) writing a dairy for a few days and seeing if that gives me any sort of relief. I lack confidence and now, support from family and i feel theres not much left in my life to do, thats how i honestly feel. thanks there's too much love for your posts, they help x
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Anonymous #1
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i can relate to alot of what you said theres too much love x
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there's too much love
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Feel free to pm me, although I can't say I'll definetly be on in the immediate future as I'm going abroad, and right now the only computer I have is on campus, but still, if I see your PM I won't ignore it.
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Anonymous #8
#35
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Go to the doctor, they can arrange someone to talk to for you which will relieve some of the feelings you have.

Selfharming i dangerously addictive, speaking from experience dont do it. Think of the years to come you will have a constant reminder of why you have such ugly scars on your body. Mine look hideous and everytime i look at them i feel discusted with myself for even thinking it would help.
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there's too much love
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Go to the doctor, they can arrange someone to talk to for you which will relieve some of the feelings you have.

Selfharming i dangerously addictive, speaking from experience dont do it. Think of the years to come you will have a constant reminder of why you have such ugly scars on your body. Mine look hideous and everytime i look at them i feel discusted with myself for even thinking it would help.
Whilst I'm not a buddhist one of the concepts I agree with is that the mind is in constant flux. Nothing is permanent. Therefore who you were then, and who you are now are different people. If you can I'd advise you look for the positive, if you feel self harming is bad or wrong then I'd suggest you feel pleased with yourself for coming out of it if you can. You're concentrating on the negatives, you came out of an addiction you wanted to come out of, I think that says a lot about the who you are now .
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Hannah_x
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(Original post by Anonymous)
www.recoveryourlife.com

everyones lovely, just have a browse

xxxx
That's my line!
x
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by Hannah_x)
That's my line!
x
You're the one who told me about it about a year ago!
Thank you
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Anonymous #9
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Don't do it.
Once you start its like a vicious circle once you start and its hard to stop.

Distractions is the key word. Get out of the house if you can and try and do something ro do something simple like playing a game, reading a book etc

Also try to talk to someone to let them know how you feel, venting can be good sometimes.

All the best
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ParadoxSocks
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The NSHN has a nice helpful forum too if you need to talk and/or ask questions
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