Thinking about self-harm

'Blahblahblah' because i had already said in previous what i wanted to say and i wasn't going to reading another post about how harsh i was being.

In short my opinion is:
Self harming is extremely selfish and attention seeking from most people and i felt the OP is one of those people. I mean they must have assumed most people would go 'OH PLEASE DONT DO IT'

For those that is is genuine in i do feel for. They are in and endless cycle of pain. But for those whom are lucky enough to have people that care for them, they are also inflicting a lot of that pain on those that care about them...because every scar that appears is going to cut their loved ones souls just a little bit more....

And for those that don't have someone caring for them. I just hope you have enough determination to go through with life and prove all those people wrong who abused or took you for granted.

Let me guess, you're one of them morons who believes suicide is "selfish" because of the pain it inflicts on the family. What's selfish is everyone else forcing a person to not kill themselves/not cut themselves/not give themselves temporary or permanent relief from the amount of agonising suffering they are going through, just because it will hurt the everyone else.

You say you can name 10 people who self harm, I'm going to make a guess that you're not one of them otherwise you wouldn't have such a bigoted selfish attitude to it.

Actually i did for a bit. No-one knew.
And as for suicide...A LOT of stems from having to deal with people trying to kill themselves ok? I'm not making light hearted comments. Im not someone who's just throwing out comments and has no idea what its about.

My mum tried to kill herself several times over the past 8 weeks during the most important exams...my A2 exams. I had to stay up till 3am with my little 8 year old brother because he was petrified because my mum was taken away in an ambulancel. I then had to get up for work at 5:30am....because of her i ****** up all my exams...my dreams...my ambitions...the reason i got out of bed in the morning. The reason i thought everything that happened when i was younger...the refuges and the abuse..it was all going to be worth it and i feel it was stolen from me.

I sat there with pills in my hand and a bottle of wine in the other before getting a message from someone 'I have a bad feeling...are you ok?'.

I completely disagree with suicide but i wasnt in the right frame of mind. I hadnt slept in months, i had constant anxiety feelings...i was constantly worried a worse fear was going to come true...far greater then my mum trying to kill herself...the person whom at one time was my protector and the closest person to me.

Do i blame her? No. But im still extremely angry with her...not because she was trying to kill herself...i don't know why im angry at her...i think i just am...

My aunt tried to kill herself by throwing herself of a bridge and would ring us at 4am every night for 2 weeks saying how she was going to kill herself.

I found my best friend half dead because she tried to kill herself.

My grandad whom i was very close to tried to kill his self last year the night before my exams.

To be honest i know im making quite harsh comments and i apologies because its not me. It may be that im just so extremely angry at recent circumstances. Or maybe its because my opinions are changing. Who knows, i don't even want to rationalize them. But im not 'uneducated' or w.e the word is when it comes to suicide.

Sorry for the long post. Im not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me and im not trying to pour my heart out because im sure you don't give a ****. But i felt i owed an explanation for my current harsh opinions.

Well I'm sorry to hear that but tbh, you haven't actually answered the thing that I argued, which is that self harm isn't selfish, it's the person stopping the self harmer who's being selfish. In fact if anything you've just proved that. Don't think I'm making light of what happened to you or people you know though, you have my sympathy for what you've been through but the fact remains that it's not the person being selfish. I'm pretty damn sure your mother didn't want you to **** up your exams, actually I'd bet money on it that that didn't go through her mind. I'm pretty sure the same applies to your grandad and best friend.

Okey i'll try answer your question but as of now im intoxicated so lets see how that goes:
I know the person going through what they are going through is not selfish.
At the instant they decide enough is enough and they try to self harm or kill themselves they are really feeling so much pain all they can think about is release.
But as someone who cares; seeing them cutting their skin really does so so much damage to you. Like me seeing my mum cutting her skin and the ****** up comments she'd make
'i can use ice cubes to numb the skin so i can cut deeper'
These things used to twist my insides and make me want to throw myself out a window...i was so close to her she was all i had.
And this was during my exams when i was trying to make a better life for myself and for her and these things ****** me up and made me extremely angry at her.

IDK...i think that when people have so many people caring for them and begging them not to do it they are inflicting just as much pain on other people so in that way it's selfish.

For those whom have no-one caring for them and have so much pain...go for it if it will help you.

But so many people do it just for attention its unbelievable. And most of them just have depression...and lives i would beg for. Holidays every year, no abuse, parents still together...one of mine is already dead.

I think it depends on your circumstances. This is what depends on whether your selfish or just releasing the pain inside.

But then maybe its just because i still have a lot of built up anger and my judgment is clouded. And very sorry if i upset anyone.

I agree with you on people who do it for attention being unbelievable, but tbh most people I know who self harm try to hide it as much as possible, they hate anyone seeing their scars or knowing what they do. They feel utterly ashamed of them and the last thing they're doing it for is attention.

I'll tell you this now as someone who used to cut, the last thing I was trying to do was hurt other people or be selfish. My friend told me it hurts him so much and all that did was make it worse for me because not only was I failing myself but him aswell and that's a horrible feeling. It made all the guilt about doing it 100 times worse, I would never recommend any one to tell people that they're hurting them to try get them to stop. It makes you want to do it where they won't see, it makes you want to lie to them, it makes everything worse. And then to be told you're being selfish just hurts (not me now but at the time) because I wasn't being selfish I didn't ask him to feel hurt, I didn't want him to feel hurt, it wasn't his concern at all. That's my experience, you have yours.

I also don't really get your "most of them just have depression". You say that like depression doesn't kill thousands every year, like it's not ******* horrible, like it's something you can brush off.

Well yeah, one of the worst things you can do is accuse a self harmer of being attention seeking and being selfish....even if they are doing that because if you got the wrong end of the stick...it can cause them a lot of damage. I've seen people being rushed to hospital for stitches etc before...but the majority of people i knew just did it because it was learn't behavior from friends etc.

I've never said that to anyone in actual life that they were selfish or anything, no matter how much i wanted to scream at them just to stop it for the love of God.

Well depression isn't something you can brush off but it is something i find extremely annoying. This is because i generally go to quite a good school where wost peoples parents are together, quite well off, take university for granted(because i live in quite a rough area where most people don't go) and most other things. And many of them are depressed and complain about the most trivial things in life. I know to them they aren't trivial but they just refuse to look on the bright side of life. It is extremely irritating when i come home and i'm trying to find the bright side to my mum trying to kill herself. Or i see mum (whom's been told by multiple councilors etc she's had the worst childhood they've ever heard of) feeling depressed for a few days but then fighting it best she can and trying to be happy and bouncy and get over it...

I just appreciate having a bed at night, a light bulb and a house to sleep in each night...she never always had that and neither did i...and this is what stops the depression in us generally, because we appreciate the little things. And i've find those that don't are the ones that suffer depression mostly because they just feel their life is a pile of ****...when its really not the case...but i guess sometimes it harder to look on that side of things sometimes.

Please keep anon or delete as this is embarassing to me and my sister will recognise me

recently I finished my uni, left there graduating but didnt go on the big stage to get applauded etc and rightly so, no one really cares or noticed that i werent there.

its been 2months since no uni and theres still 3months left till my dad's 10th death anniversary and i feel depressed and have no one to talk to

I tried commiting suicide 2 days ago but failed and now im contemplating cutting myself as one of my internet friend's who is also depressed does this and says she gets relief from it. Im scared of doing it but anyone any experience with this?

thanks i guess

You understand that depression means you can't actually appreciate anything, right? No amount of trying to feel happy can fix clinical depression.

Well yeah, one of the worst things you can do is accuse a self harmer of being attention seeking and being selfish....even if they are doing that because if you got the wrong end of the stick...it can cause them a lot of damage. I've seen people being rushed to hospital for stitches etc before...but the majority of people i knew just did it because it was learn't behavior from friends etc.

I've never said that to anyone in actual life that they were selfish or anything, no matter how much i wanted to scream at them just to stop it for the love of God.

Well depression isn't something you can brush off but it is something i find extremely annoying. This is because i generally go to quite a good school where wost peoples parents are together, quite well off, take university for granted(because i live in quite a rough area where most people don't go) and most other things. And many of them are depressed and complain about the most trivial things in life. I know to them they aren't trivial but they just refuse to look on the bright side of life. It is extremely irritating when i come home and i'm trying to find the bright side to my mum trying to kill herself. Or i see mum (whom's been told by multiple councilors etc she's had the worst childhood they've ever heard of) feeling depressed for a few days but then fighting it best she can and trying to be happy and bouncy and get over it...

I just appreciate having a bed at night, a light bulb and a house to sleep in each night...she never always had that and neither did i...and this is what stops the depression in us generally, because we appreciate the little things. And i've find those that don't are the ones that suffer depression mostly because they just feel their life is a pile of ****...when its really not the case...but i guess sometimes it harder to look on that side of things sometimes.

Are your friends actually clinically depressed or just "god I'm soooooo depressed"?

Secondly, not all depression is situational. You can be a millionaire, CEO of a global corporation, have everything you've ever wanted and still be depressed.

Like the other poster said, it's not about appreciating the little things because you're completely unable to.