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In a relationship with my best guy friend... Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Basically, he treats me like a princess, he's everything any girl would wish for and we've been best friends for about a year or so, BUT I don't fancy him. I don't find him unattractive. But, just not attractive. There's no spark there. We're doing the long distance thing, and he helped me while an ex boyfriend was breaking up with me repeatedly, so I *thought* that I fancied him and was attracted to him, but every-time we meet up I love spending time with him- we can talk for hours and hours, but I hate kissing him... and I just don't seem to fancy him.

    He told me on the phone the other night that he'd "fallen head over heels in love with" me :eek: when he said that I didn't say anything for a couple of seconds and then was like "aww... thats sweet" and then "I can't really say it back because of what I've been through with my ex, I just can't be telling someone I love them too soon" (not exactly what I said but that's pretty much the gist of it) and he said ok... obviously, I don't love him, and that's why I didn't say it.

    I love spending time with him but I've come to realise I got strong feelings for a best friend mixed up with relationship type feelings, and I don't know how to end it with him without upsetting him, and without losing the best friend I've ever had.

    Please help! :woo: :woo: :woo: :woo:
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    I think you have to be honest with him. If you really consider him a true friend then spare his feelings and be straight up. He probably won't want to speak to you for a while, time during which he will probably assess his feelings. Hopefully you will be able to be friends again though.

    DO NOT lead him on/ get into a long term relationship/ tell him you love him in a romantic way. Have enough respect to at least not lie to him. It's nice being treated like a princess but in the long run, I'm sure he will appreciate the fact that you didn't play him for a fool.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Anyone???
    • #2
    #2

    Basically, he treats me like a princess, he's everything any girl would wish for and we've been best friends for about a year or so, BUT I don't fancy him. I don't find him unattractive. But, just not attractive. There's no spark there. We're doing the long distance thing, and he helped me while an ex boyfriend was breaking up with me repeatedly, so I *thought* that I fancied him and was attracted to him, but every-time we meet up I love spending time with him- we can talk for hours and hours, but I hate kissing him... and I just don't seem to fancy him.

    He told me on the phone the other night that he'd "fallen head over heels in love with" me when he said that I didn't say anything for a couple of seconds and then was like "aww... thats sweet" and then "I can't really say it back because of what I've been through with my ex, I just can't be telling someone I love them too soon" (not exactly what I said but that's pretty much the gist of it) and he said ok... obviously, I don't love him, and that's why I didn't say it.

    I love spending time with him but I've come to realise I got strong feelings for a best friend mixed up with relationship type feelings, and I don't know how to end it with him without upsetting him, and without losing the best friend I've ever had.

    Please help!
    i have a veryyy similar problem,

    look at peoples replies on the 'boyfriend :/' thread for extra advice
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    you'll have to tell him lol otherwise all that will happen is you eventually tell him anyways...only u been together a year or something n itll be so painful for him, plus you'll have gone thru months o bearing with this. explain to him you prefered your friendship, and maybe that you don't want the mess with him that you had with your ex. good luck
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    the longer you leave it. the worse it'll be. sorry.
    • #3
    #3

    I was in a simillar situation, except i lived with the guy as he has been my flatmate for 2years. I knew he liked me, and like in your situation, he treated me so well and helped me get over an bad break up. One night we drunkenly pulled, and it clearly meant more to him than me. But then we kept pulling on nights out and eventually I agreed to go out with him due to pressure from other flatmates. However, it did not work and after 8 months of trying to make it work cos he is such a good guy, I had to end it.
    Just be honest with him, explain that u love him but u are not 'in love' with him. Say he will always be a good friend and you understand if he needs time to get used to it.

    2months later, after doing this, I had my best friend and flatmate back and we have never been happier.
 
 
 
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