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    There's this girl i'm currently dating who I really like and have liked for ages (2 dates, arranged to go out later this week). We're both at different uni's and are back for the summer so we thought we should see how it goes and it's going pretty good so far.

    Here's the "catch", we are both friends with this other guy who had a bit of a thing with the girl i'm dating. He went to visit her at uni a few months ago (before Easter) and they got together then again when she was back at Easter they carried it on (she was staying over at his house). Anyway he pretty much fell for her however she didn't fall for him, since we've been back for summer she made it clear to him that she didn't want to carry it on anymore (gave him the whole "don't want to ruin friendship" ) so this made her single again. Around the same time she stopped with him I asked her out for a drink and she said yes, we follow this up with another date and have agreed to a third.

    Anyway we have been keeping our dates a secret from our friends due to the controversy really. Mainly because he still has feelings for this girl and if it didn't work out between me and this girl then why would he need to know right?

    I should also say that before asking this girl out I didn't know that they have been getting together over Easter, I had only heard that it happened between them when he visited her at uni through rumours (which are true). Also the only times that they got together they had been drunk...

    Do you think it's wrong what i'm doing, kind of going behind one of my friends backs? Also do you think I should tell him or leave it until this develops between me and this girl?

    Thanks for reading.
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    if you didn't know about their relationship then don't blame it on you. Anyway, I think a relation can't be healthy if hidden. You have to tell this guy the truth because he'll find out one way or the other and I'm pretty sure he would prefer you to tell him than someone else. But before doing anything talk to your gf because you are two in this relationship and that's a decision you have to take both.
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    I don't think you can be blamed but if things do develop with you and this girl its better to tell him sooner rather than later.
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    I agree with those above. You really shouldn't have to keep it a secret - I know you want to protect the feeling sof your friend, but it would be much worse if he had to see you both together (i.e "catch you in the act (of holding hands/kissing etc") than you actually telling him. He's probably still a little sore because he's been blown off - but if you're honest with him then I'm sure he'll understand. Usually, good friends always do.
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    ok i'm gonna agree with everyone else and say that if you didn't know, you're not technically wrong...however thats not how the other guy will see it, is it? as much as people can say 'if hes a good friend he'll understand' but i know how i'd feel in that situation...

    is he a close friend?
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    (Original post by roxie4ever57)
    if you didn't know about their relationship then don't blame it on you. Anyway, I think a relation can't be healthy if hidden. You have to tell this guy the truth because he'll find out one way or the other and I'm pretty sure he would prefer you to tell him than someone else. But before doing anything talk to your gf because you are two in this relationship and that's a decision you have to take both.
    what she said.
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    I agree as well. it might be painful for your friend as he might see you hanging around with the girl he first had but I guess that's how things go sometimes. He'll get over it in the end. Besides it's not your fault. You didn't know they even had something so yeah, go for it!
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    Thanks for the replies guys.

    I have been in a situation where i've been declined by a girl I liked before and then watching her kiss/hold hands of other guys really sucked but I got over it. I'm seeing this girl on thursday so i'll ask her what we should do, I would like to speak to my friend about it as we are quite close and we're all going to a party this saturday and i'd much rather have him know that making him "catch us in the act" so to speak.
 
 
 
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