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My dad is a PSYCHO when my mum is not around Watch

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    My father and I have never shared a normal relationship. He sits on the sofa and reads his paper, I go do my own thing. My mum deals with everything from bills to discipline.

    In the past he has a history of being aggressive with my brother and I. Hitting us violently and severely hurting us on several occasions when we were younger. My mother put him in his place before it got bad. If it wasn't for her I honestly think I'd be a victim of violent child abuse. The really odd thing is; no-one would expect it from our family, we are a financially well off, decent family and my dad appears really quiet, reserved and shy to outsiders.

    So, things were calm for a bit. But since my brother and I returned from uni for the summer things are getting bad.

    My dad returns home from work 1-2 hours before my mother. As a general rule, I cook for my parents when they return home, which I enjoy doing. The only thing I don't enjoy is the 2 hours I have to spend in the house on my own with my father. My brother is usually out unless he is helping me with the cooking.

    Usually, he comes in though the door and doesn't even say hello. He slams every door/cupboard/glass/plate he can find and swears under his breath. If I am in his way he doesn't say excuse me, he just pushes me violently to the side. If I say anything at all he shouts something along the lines of "F**king b**tards doing nothing all day", not even talking directly at me. Sometimes I leave the cooking on low heat and wait in my room until my mother gets home. I can hear him downstairs swearing and banging things, calling us every imaginable name under the sun. Once when he thought we were out he said things like 'I'll f***ing kill them' 'bash their heads in' etc. etc.

    I know with 100% certainty that if I ever confront him I will end up getting seriously injured ... or worse. I just stay well out of his way until my mum gets home. He is a ticking time bomb.

    As soon as my mother gets back he returns to his usual reserved self.

    I honestly don't know what to do. He hasn't actually done anything seriously wrong, just acted aggressively. He has no reason to complain either, both my brother and I cook, clean, pay bills and do the shopping while my parents are working. I also have a weekend job and am performing brilliantly at uni, so he shouldn't be complaining really. My mother never complains, she praises us on being such helpful kids and is constantly giving us money and buying us things.

    I do feel like he resents my mother for giving us money as he clearly did not have it as easy when he was growing up. I think that he had a hard upbringing and therefore feels like we have to have one too. My grandmother told me he was very badly bullied and ran away from boarding school. Perhaps he is jealous? I don't know. It's just wrong and I have no idea what to do.
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    Woah, sounds like a really tough situation.
    It seems that you have a close relationship with your mum, couldn't you s o r, I'm sure she is aware of the situation, but it seems she is the only person able to deal with itad bleto curb your father's aggression.
    That failing, could you not minimise your time in your dad's presence.
    You shouldn't need to feel that you have to get away or be scared in your home buyourwn safety is the most important thing.
    Feel free to message me if you want x
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    Me and my dad dont have a good relationship, although he has never physically hurt me he has shouted at me, rise up aggressively before and we never have proper conversations. I feel uncomfortable around him. I am close to my mother and have told her, she is afraid to say anything to him, but recently i stood up to him. He is very strict with me and my younger sister, and wont let her go out and socialise etc, i stood up for her and he stood up and looked at me with this vile horrible aggressive look, which made me cry; just looking at me like i was a piece of dirt, and swore at me. I swore back and walked off, my mother came after me and i guess it all came out, i was crying hysterically and she confronted him. Nothing more was said but i think i now know i am not scared of him.

    If he knows you arent afraid of him, he wont bother trying to get a reaction from you. Tell your mum how your feeling. You shouldnt feel this way in your own home, and its not your fault he was bullied or had a hard up bringing. The issues are with him.

    Good luck <3
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    Er, if you're at uni age surely yo are 18/19/20+.

    Don't be bullied. Who would win in a fight?
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    No matter how bad his upbringing is, it's totally warped for him to want to ruin yours.

    I'd try to get out. Rent a room, stay at a friend's etc. Got any otehr family you can stay with?

    Also, it sounds like your mum's a saint. Whatever you end up doing, just make sure she's okay too.
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    Like others have said, his upbringing is no excuse for being a complete tosser to you. It sounds like your mum has done very well in protecting you from his violent temper - what's his relationship with your mother like?

    My experience of my dad makes me think that people like that never change, but you could try talking to him - not necessarily in a confrontational way. Maybe try at the weekend, when he's not working/ stressed out? Tell him the way he acts upsets you, and that you just want to get along with him? There's no guarantee that it'll work, but at least you'll have tried.
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    Get him to smash your face in. Then sue him.

    Then move into a friends house, pay some rent, get a job. SORTED.
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    You should probably... try to get out of that situation as soon as possible. Are you old enough to move out? I don't know the exact circumstances, but it sounds like you dad is a ticking bomb. On one hand, he might not become physically violent becasue he's letting it out by swearing, but then again, in the words of Ghandi "Your words will become your actions." Does your mom know or would it be dangerous telling her?
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    (Original post by Spanghew)
    No matter how bad his upbringing is, it's totally warped for him to want to ruin yours.

    I'd try to get out. Rent a room, stay at a friend's etc. Got any otehr family you can stay with?

    Also, it sounds like your mum's a saint. Whatever you end up doing, just make sure she's okay too.
    I agree...move out as soon as possible!
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    (Original post by Nick_000)
    Er, if you're at uni age surely yo are 18/19/20+.

    Don't be bullied. Who would win in a fight?
    Well, if his dad is like mine then dad would win.I'd by eating through a tube and peeing from one as well.
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    Beat him up. Tag team him with your brother.
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    Tell him you will get a TSR hitman on him. :ninja:
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    Tell your mum about this.
 
 
 
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