Anyone go to salford uni...

Drewski

It is what you make it.

I loved it, met some brilliant people who are now good friends, got myself involved, stayed away from dodgy areas [all cities have bad spots] very easily. Twas all good!

And you most likely wouldn't be alone, one of the guys I knew well there also a Canuck. Awesome hockey player.

I hate when people say "It is what you make it" I'd say its more "What others make of you/it" since my last 2 years at uni have been miserable(2 different unis) since people have treated me like dirt.

Reply 3

EarlHickey

I hate when people say "It is what you make it" I'd say its more "What others make of you/it" since my last 2 years at uni have been miserable(2 different unis) since people have treated me like dirt.

what others make of you/it is directly and indirectly because of you what you make of it.

Reply 4

Drewski

19

EarlHickey

I hate when people say "It is what you make it" I'd say its more "What others make of you/it" since my last 2 years at uni have been miserable(2 different unis) since people have treated me like dirt.

Well, as much as might not like it... tough.

That is the way it works. If you get involved, do what you want to do, don't bother about what other people may think [especcially as, if you don't get on you're never going to see each other again] and get on with your own life then everything will be fine and you will enjoy your time.

Reply 5

SouthernFreerider

what others make of you/it is directly and indirectly because of you what you make of it.

I dont completly understand but if you are saying what others make of you and the way they treat you affects the way you treat them and see the world around you. Its what they think you are saying or doing i.e I am bad because I am a sweet nice guy who is interested in things meant for teenagers and am in my 20's so people laugh and because I am not in everyones faces and calm and polite I am seen as an easy pushover so my personality is affected by them directly.

Reply 6

Drewski

Well, as much as might not like it... tough.

That is the way it works. If you get involved, do what you want to do, don't bother about what other people may think [especcially as, if you don't get on you're never going to see each other again] and get on with your own life then everything will be fine and you will enjoy your time.

Totally disagree as I involve myself with things and people dont involve me how could I possibly do anything else.

If I just do what I want to do people wont socialise with me as they have different interests thereby making me have to do things on my own.

To suceed at life you need to fit in with what other people want and have very little individuality.

Reply 7

Drewski

19

EarlHickey

Totally disagree as I involve myself with things and people dont involve me how could I possibly do anything else.

If I just do what I want to do people wont socialise with me as they have different interests thereby making me have to do things on my own.

To suceed at life you need to fit in with what other people want and have very little individuality.

As much as I don't want to continue this conversation here for reasons of thread drift rendering this completely unuseful to the OP: that's twoddle.

Are you saying that at 2 universities you haven't found people with the same interests as you? If that is what you're trying to say then you're blatently doing something wrong. There is no way you have been the only person to have certain interests out of what is probably close to 30,000 people.

And the having no individuality bit is rubbish, too. Compromising is one thing, removing all semblance of a personality is quite another.

If you stop acting like the victim, then people won't view you as one.

Reply 8

EarlHickey

Totally disagree as I involve myself with things and people dont involve me how could I possibly do anything else.

If I just do what I want to do people wont socialise with me as they have different interests thereby making me have to do things on my own.

To suceed at life you need to fit in with what other people want and have very little individuality.

really not true.

remember that there is a big difference between "having an individuality" and "only doing what you want to do allllll the time"

Reply 9

SouthernFreerider

really not true.

remember that there is a big difference between "having an individuality" and "only doing what you want to do allllll the time"

I disagree, to get anywhere you have to follow trends, even the people who think they are individual with their own styles generally do have their own sense of style but within a set group, I see so many punks or goths who think they are individual despite the common thread of dark clothes, often dyeing hair, piercings etc. Same for the trendier ones wearing clothes from more expensive shops or even designer and go drinking often and talk about how they are unique.

Unless you conform to a certain group you will get nowhere, if someone doesnt like you they can affect your life negatively by having some connections or influence, believe me I have had it happen to me and other people I know my entire life and I have 1 friend who I often discuss this individiuality with, true individualty is rare and often punished because on the irony because you are different you dont fit in.

How is doing what everyone else does and following stereotypes being an individual?

Reply 10

EarlHickey

I disagree, to get anywhere you have to follow trends, even the people who think they are individual with their own styles generally do have their own sense of style but within a set group, I see so many punks or goths who think they are individual despite the common thread of dark clothes, often dyeing hair, piercings etc. Same for the trendier ones wearing clothes from more expensive shops or even designer and go drinking often and talk about how they are unique.

Unless you conform to a certain group you will get nowhere, if someone doesnt like you they can affect your life negatively by having some connections or influence, believe me I have had it happen to me and other people I know my entire life and I have 1 friend who I often discuss this individiuality with, true individualty is rare and often punished because on the irony because you are different you dont fit in.

How is doing what everyone else does and following stereotypes being an individual?

you need to open your mind man.

you have SUCH a narrow perspective and it won't help you get of this rut. (i assume you are the OP, I forget).

I dont conform to any group, yet I live an awesome and diverse life. I love it.

got an amazing girlfriend (been with for 9 months :smile:

), I got good friends, ride bmx and dirt jumping every day, got an offer for cambridge, live a "confortable" lifestyle, currently working at a super chilled job this summer.

Conforming is just limiting. flirt with different groups, meet new and interesting people, but dont just get stuck in one limited paradigm.

Reply 11

SouthernFreerider

you need to open your mind man.

you have SUCH a narrow perspective and it won't help you get of this rut. (i assume you are the OP, I forget).

I dont conform to any group, yet I live an awesome and diverse life. I love it.

got an amazing girlfriend (been with for 9 months :smile:

), I got good friends, ride bmx and dirt jumping every day, got an offer for cambridge, live a "confortable" lifestyle, currently working at a super chilled job this summer.

Conforming is just limiting. flirt with different groups, meet new and interesting people, but dont just get stuck in one limited paradigm.

Strange I just log on not being on all day and you post 1 minute just before me!

Anyway the problem I see is people dont realise they are conforming, I see so many people who have their own fashion sense but they are still limited by the group they are in. The worst group as I say is punks and goths, they like to wear black and have piercings then talk about how they arent conforming! Then so many students think they are rebelling by drinking all the time and/or taking drugs when all they are doing is following a trend!

I am different so people treat me like dirt, on Tuesday night I walked into Wetherspoons for a drink and as I walked in some lads said """"" look at that fat ugly """" ugh its disgusting to even look at him, why does someone like that even leave the house"

I am fat but I am around 4 stone overweight but healthy as I do a lot of walking, and got this sort of abuse even when I actually was underweight as I have a stocky/broad build.

They just got at me as I didnt look the way they thought I should do.

Reply 12

EarlHickey

Strange I just log on not being on all day and you post 1 minute just before me!

Anyway the problem I see is people dont realise they are conforming, I see so many people who have their own fashion sense but they are still limited by the group they are in. The worst group as I say is punks and goths, they like to wear black and have piercings then talk about how they arent conforming! Then so many students think they are rebelling by drinking all the time and/or taking drugs when all they are doing is following a trend!

I am different so people treat me like dirt, on Tuesday night I walked into Wetherspoons for a drink and as I walked in some lads said """"" look at that fat ugly """" ugh its disgusting to even look at him, why does someone like that even leave the house"

I am fat but I am around 4 stone overweight but healthy as I do a lot of walking, and got this sort of abuse even when I actually was underweight as I have a stocky/broad build.

They just got at me as I didnt look the way they thought I should do.

these guys who heckled abuse at you sound like *****.

you seriously dont wanna conform with them buddy.

and you dont have to.

you really dont.

try not to let it get to you man. they'll always be people who dont like what you do, but then they'll always be people who do. its just sometimes a little harder for some people to find these second group of people.

Reply 13

b3ck1

EarlHickey

Strange I just log on not being on all day and you post 1 minute just before me!

Anyway the problem I see is people dont realise they are conforming, I see so many people who have their own fashion sense but they are still limited by the group they are in. The worst group as I say is punks and goths, they like to wear black and have piercings then talk about how they arent conforming! Then so many students think they are rebelling by drinking all the time and/or taking drugs when all they are doing is following a trend!

I am different so people treat me like dirt, on Tuesday night I walked into Wetherspoons for a drink and as I walked in some lads said """"" look at that fat ugly """" ugh its disgusting to even look at him, why does someone like that even leave the house"

I am fat but I am around 4 stone overweight but healthy as I do a lot of walking, and got this sort of abuse even when I actually was underweight as I have a stocky/broad build.

They just got at me as I didnt look the way they thought I should do.

All I can say is currently you are paying too much attention ,there are plenty of people overweight or even average that still get picked on it's just part of their human nature to draw attention to something because they have nothing better to do.
You also need to quit with jumping on specific stereotypes some "goths/punks" are perfectly fine they just enjoy their dress sense.
I do understand that being picked on is upsetting at times but you should never let it get to you like this.
You must think what is more important?? Letting them win and getting upset or carrying on with life and living it to "your" max, to whatever you enjoy and look forward to.
I have friends of multiple style but they still share some interests with me fashion sense does not decide everything.
&
Upon all odds yes there are some people who can be irritating but you need to ignore those too, the people in this forum have done nothing but try to help you.
:p:

So yes be more confident try looking up some ways to boost your confidence.

( Also the "lmiited groups" you keep mentioninig are in reality just your point of view from what you can see, because if you knew all of those people individually they would react to different things in their own way, they would have different fears/hates obsessions/loves they would be narrowed down to who they are. I suppose you should cut it to just fashion possibly be limited because surly the only way to be a "rare" individual you would literally need to create your own fashion sense, including making your own clothes and then you still when you look at the entire world as a whole need to ensure that is it 100% unique and the chances are the idea has already been done/planned/thought up and so it falls into yet another category. :rolleyes:

)

You need some positive putting in your life. :o:

Take care

Reply 14