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    Anon or delete

    I don't know where to start ......

    When i was in my early teen years i got forced to move and live with another member of my family due to my low grades at school. My family takes education very seriously and they believe all life depends on it. They believed the move will benefit me more as this family member is a lot more educated than they are and he/she can help me with my work. Yet my parents didn't ask me if i was ok with it all...

    Right now i just finished my AS level year, but was forced to work like a dog , 2 months prior exams when i was on study leave i was forced to wake up at specific times and work for around 6-7 hours a day. I had no say in what times i worked and if i said i really don't want to do this they threaten to ban me from everything and take away all my privileges. And if i was to completely not listen to them i will probably get kicked out somewhere i don't know. However the work paid off i got all A's in my January exams, and waiting on the results for the other exams.

    Now at this current point i felt like **** , im 17 turning 18 and being controlled like a kid. I have no say in what hours i work. What annoys me now is its 2 weeks into summer and im being made to start revision for around 4 hours a day which will slowly increase. I have had some very bad thoughts about how **** my life is at the moment its sickening for me i have no control over it.

    They tell me ill thank them when im older, but i just feel like i cant live like this anymore, its like i have no life other than education, every minute of everyday they go on about education.

    Now this is the weird part which is going to freak most of you out........

    I have some weird obsession with some girl over the internet, its like Ive fallen in love with her even though i have not met her or talked with her. Shes sort of a internet star, alot of other people feel the same way about her like i do. I have been talking to alot of her friends over the net and she seems like a nice person from asking about her personality and seeing various videos of her. I have spoken to the girl over the phone and such. She lives in America.

    And now for some odd reason i want to go escape the current life im living which is full of **** but in the future im likely to succeed but whats the point if i absolutely hate life now. I was thinking of going to America for college and then university.

    But....

    My family will go insane, wont support me and probably wont talk to me for the rest of my life, seriously...

    I have no money, our goverment doesn't provide grants to study abroad from what Ive heard. And who will be there to support me if i have no family behind me?

    This girl has made me consider this move, why am i like this? I haven't even met her !


    And a decision like this can ruin my future which looks bright for me , but i wont enjoy life on that journey

    Whereas moving away will make me have a happier life except ill without a doubt be alot less successful in life.

    I keep thinking about this girl and wanting to meet her and trust me i dont think this obsession is likely to end anytime soon i think about it literally everyday. And all this **** i get at home doesn't help it makes me want to make the move.

    But the thing is i cant....

    And the move will mean no family contact or support

    And how will i even get the finance to do this?



    My life is seriously messed up with this pathetic obsession...
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    Wow.

    Don't move to the US for university because an "internet star" who you're infatuated with lives there, though.
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    i think maybe you want to "escape" from your family yes?
    and this girl is just highlighting that fact making you want to go off to america (which by all means you can)
    but you can still be free going to a uni in the UK as well. & tbh you would never have to see them again if you really didnt want to.
    I understand what your rents are saying but thats insane!!!
    You shouldnt be made to do 4 hours of revision already!
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    If i were you i wouldnt let your family control you, I wouldnt go to america either. your nearly 18, they want you to have a good career etc but its down to more than simpley education. you cannot just revise revise revise ALL THE TIME you need life skills, social interaction and STRESS RELEASE. get out of the house, your family cant stop you. be who you want to be and do what you want to do.
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    Well to start with it may be good to chat to your family about how you feel, and what is going through your head about feeling suffocated, if you act in a mature manner there is no reason for them not to listen to you, and if they dont well they are being very unreasonable.

    You could come to some agreement in the fact that you could have some time to yourself for you to decide on what you want to do with it at some point in the week instead of working all the time, would that seem a acceptable compromise?

    Why not also suggest to them if you are that desperate to go to america to study, that you go to university there, it is as i have heard quite difficult to get a place as an international student so that would look good if your parents want something like that to be proud of, however if you are only going there for the sake of the girl i would be hesisitant you will get your freedom in this country when you go to university, if you choose to, so i think it may be better to try and forget the ameircan dream and go to a university in this country.
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    Tell them how you really feel, that you want to follow your own path and that you'd rather be happy than forced to work all day. What they're making you do is wrong and selfish.
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    It depends what sort of a 'star' this girl is....

    I'd be careful if I were you OP, there are a lot of 'stars' who I'm sure would be willing to take advantage of impressionable young men...

    Sounds a bit ambiguous...
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    I wish my family made me work like a ***** - then i wouldn't be in the situation im in now. I think your family have your best interests at heart even though it dosen't look it. Seriously your getting good grades because of them just stick with it get your A's and when you go to uni you can have your own life then. But seriously its not like there abusing locked in the house day in day out. there doing this for you - i wish my family did the same thing.
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    This girl is just e - famous , she doesn't have people following her 24/7.

    Trust me the person im living with now checks literally everyday for the university's they want me to go to they know that English universitys are generally a lot better and why go through all the hassle to go to an American one.

    Also where would i get financial support for this?

    I have tried talking with them they just keep saying there doing it for my own good and to listen to them....

    and you guys don't understand i am obsessed with this girl literally its like i need to at least meet her or I'm going to be thinking about her everyday.

    its weird...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This girl is just e - famous , she doesn't have people following her 24/7.

    Trust me the person im living with now checks literally everyday for the university's they want me to go to they know that English universitys are generally a lot better and why go through all the hassle to go to an American one.

    Also where would i get financial support for this?

    I have tried talking with them they just keep saying there doing it for my own good and to listen to them....

    and you guys don't understand i am obsessed with this girl literally its like i need to at least meet her or I'm going to be thinking about her everyday.
    its weird...
    Your obsessed with the idea OF her, not her actually. She means nothing more to you then a form of escapism - but i think your escape would be uni wouldn't it. Just get the grades you need and then you'll be out of there in no time
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    Problem there is, my parents want me to live at home and go uni...

    I think getting over this girl will help me move on but it seems impossible its been going for about 3 months.
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    My cousin was in your situation, he died of a heroin overdose 16 months ago, he was 17.

    He got into drugs because he couldn't handle the pressure from his parents.

    **** them mate, they should know that what they're doing is a form of psychological abuse. Go your own way and never look back. I wish you all the best.
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    ok i can totally understand the fact that you want to escape from your family. However i think the only reason you feel so attracted to this american girl, to the extent that you want to move to america for her is because you are just lonely.

    Once you get into university, you'll make loads of friends and you'll be able to get away from your family too, so just hang in there until then and keep working hard. Remember, you're doing it for yourself
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    (Original post by Chick-ni)
    Remember, you're doing it for yourself
    Depends... Is this really the path in life you want to take?

    the best decisions are the ones we get to make ourselves.
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    That is the best read ever.

    LoL @ the internet star comment
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Problem there is, my parents want me to live at home and go uni...

    I think getting over this girl will help me move on but it seems impossible its been going for about 3 months.
    You need to negotiate with them then - E.g argure that you've been working solid etc and think you deserve to go to a good Uni outside your home town. If they so no - tell them to go do one as you'll be 18 and you don't really need them financially as you'll get a student loan and it'll help if you had a parttime job too - and they wont disown you as your fulfilling thier wishes by going to Uni.

    But seriusly get over this internet girl - concentrate on the bigger picture remind youself evreyday that getting good grades and going to uni is your escape - once your out evreything will be fine.
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    You probably will thank them later in life, but you'll only thank them for your grades, not for your quality of life.

    You're nearly 18, Just do what's best for you.

    You're not going to please everyone, so don't try to.

    The girl on the internet is just an escape for you. Don't live your life to please others
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This girl is just e - famous , she doesn't have people following her 24/7.

    Trust me the person im living with now checks literally everyday for the university's they want me to go to they know that English universitys are generally a lot better and why go through all the hassle to go to an American one.

    Also where would i get financial support for this?

    I have tried talking with them they just keep saying there doing it for my own good and to listen to them....

    and you guys don't understand i am obsessed with this girl literally its like i need to at least meet her or I'm going to be thinking about her everyday.

    its weird...
    If i were in your position, and I've been in a very similar one, I would get out NOW. Go to America if you want , or just move somewhere else in England, but leave your 'family'. At this time they are not good for you, and in the future, you could find them and see if they are ready to treat you like a human being, and accept that you have control over your life. :yep:

    But for now, I think the best thing for you to do, is leave, as that is clearly the only way you will have any control or choice in your own life (and your are missing out on your youth now, which you will never get back).
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    try and talk to your parents, and get your teachers to talk to them- your teachers will say that 4 hours a day in the summer before you have even started A2 is stupid. If that doesnt work, put up with it for a year (easier said than done i know, but use uni as motivation). Once you have finished and got into uni (im sure u will if you work that hard), then you are independant. you can move out and fully support yourself by working in the holidays and part time at uni (hard work, but less than you seem to be doing right now!), using the 7 odd grand of govt loans as well. Then your life will be yours, and by socialising more you should forget about this internet girl.

    until then as i say, talk to your parents, get people who they will actually listen to to talk to them, and just use uni (and thus freedom) as motivation
 
 
 
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